...rarely bring up the subject of husbands, BF's or baby daddies.  Maybe you are engaging in that "talk" and they are humoring you, probably by telling you what you want to hear.

Providers sometime mention their kids but hardly ever their SO's.

Actually I get asked about my dating life by half of my clients. I wouldn't bring it up on my own though.

Has a boyfriend or a baby daddy

I know the relationship status of just a few but I don't get the 'hit' you are talking about.  i think one reveals it, slipping out of GFE during recovery periods, to keep clients from becoming too attached...

stated to me that they were married.  One is apparently very open about her and husbands swinging lifestyle.  

I don't know...would YOU want your wife with a guy like him? He has a point bwahhahaa.

It seems the gals that have a family and family life are in a better position to have the balance from hooking.

Does it bother me if you are a moron?..fuc no..

Hi,    ... to meet me @ the apartment  building's door! After he determined I was OK, hew strolled down the sidewalk, while we went back up & had fun! From then on I wasn't  concerned about a woman, being married , in this business!

If she is in a relationship, it signals to me that she is able to maintain a healthy personal life outside of business; which I view as a very good thing  (not to suggest that providers who are not in relationships are unable to do this).  

then most guys wouldn't fuck hookers...

That a full familial relationship tends to create a healthy personal life in this world.

I don't view the lying and sneaking around thing as necessarily more justifiable if you're not having sex at home. Just a personal view, but  *I* would leave a marriage/relationship before I went there. In fact I have, more than once. Only my personal view.  

But, not getting any at home and trying to keep it discreet, is one thing. Having full access at home and still lying and sneaking around is...well...not exactly admirable. And, more than a small "double standard" that I see around here all the time.  

-- Modified on 3/26/2013 4:20:32 PM

if she is married or not. She is an actress playing a role for the next hour or two, fulfilling your fantasies and when she is done, she is most likely forgetting you. As far as my girlfriend being an escort, i would have no problem with her doing what she does if that is what she desires to do. Personally i would have no say in it, it's her life and her choice. Now a wife is something different. Marriage is a commitment between the souls and i would not want her to be in this profession.

Dear Ms. Rayne:
How much of a royalty do you need to start on your new fictional novel " the woman I didn't know was a ho". The destruction and erosion of the american family.  You really get your first prize off of this one.

Dear Ms. Rayne:
I never said that you did. I am just saying that you have so many stories from you life and times as a courtesan with married men. At some point in time you can chronicle your evolution in your new book.

But most of us mere mortals tend to be bound by limited income.  

"If she is in a relationship, it signals to me that she is able to maintain a healthy personal life outside of business; which I view as a very good thing  (not to suggest that providers who are not in relationships are unable to do this). You may not care if a provider is married. But I betcha you (and probably most men) would give a fuck if the tables turned. My bet is you would damned near lose your mind if you found out your wife was behaving like you; frittering away the kids college funds on strange behind your back, lying to you, bragging about it on a public Inet board, and then coming home and fcking you too."

of course I am happily married!!!!

In a couple instances I knew well in advance. Both ladies told me their husbands were in jail. Other instances the boyfriend was over seas in the military. Another instance the provider got paid to be married and was in the process of divorcing the guy. Some have been separations.  

I am NOT married and nowhere close to getting married but it should not matter. I do not understand the high some guys get because they are having sex with another mans wife. In the client,provider world it is different. You are paying us, and you are not the only one so I really do not think anyone should be getting off on that fact.  

That's how the folks I know view it.

like that swarthy come hither look.  Damn I just like find you 2 sexy (in a very lovely kind of way).

If it would be a problem for me I would either inquire before making the appointment or mention I don't want to discuss outside relationships.  

I don't see the need to share this with clients, even if I did have a BF. It's simply not conducive to many guys' fantasy.

-- Modified on 3/26/2013 11:00:17 PM

I guess the SO or husband just has to look on the bright side and not dwell on the negatives.

-- Modified on 3/26/2013 2:58:58 PM

Seriously though, I agree with you.  I couldn't see myself asking.  I figure its none of my business.  Truthfully I don't think I would fully believe what a provider told me about their private life unless I had known her a while.  I always figure there is a degree of fabrication which is used to protect her personal life from the weirdos.  

And if the money I spend on luxuries (P4P or otherwise) is my money, only, and I spend my money frivolously then I have to answer to myself.  

Haha, thats it in a nut shell. you get to have your cake and eat it to.

If they seperate and the divorce attorney asks you to sign an affidavit. It happened to me.

and I'm not about to try and change now! Dad warned me early on that I could get killed doing it, but so far..................................

He can even watch if he wants to.  Sit in the chair, pop some popcorn, have a beer.  Cheer when appropriate.

And who the hell really knows, you know?  All three of my ATFs could be married for all I know, I have never, ever even considered asking my providers about their personal relationships.  That just seems personally taboo to me.

...the one and only time I encountered it directly was a young girl in ATL several years back.  She was wearing her wedding band and engagement ring.  At first I was a little taken aback by it but during the down time after round 1 the subject came up and she said, "He loves the fact that I am hot enough to do this.  Besides, when I bought him a brand new John Deere tractor for Xmas, he was LOVING what I do."  

I have a big problem with cheating. I only do it myself because I feel I am forced to in order to save the marriage I have. I would much rather not be doing this and get what I need at home. Unfortunately my wife of 15 years and 3 kids would much rather just not have sex be a part of her life. I don't quite consider it cheating under that circumstance. However, I don't see how any guy could be ok with the woman he loves sleeping with other men and I do not want to be a part of that.

What do you care if the girl you are PAYING is lying to HER mate? So are you! She is doing it for money, you are doing it for pleasure...

And not all the girls are lying or cheating on their SO. He may be completely aware of her choice of career.

But in Tigger's case that isn't the only issue as he stated if the SO knew he just can't be a part of that since he can't grasp why a man would be ok with that. So to Tigger, I guess don't see providers who have boyfriends...I'll let you figure that out.

-- Modified on 3/27/2013 4:59:28 AM

I have a friend in Nashville that has her husband actually drop her off,  and wait for her on calls. They have been together 12 years and have 4 children. Would never work for me, but it works for HER.

I had a couple of long-term ATF's who got engaged, married and pregnant while we were seeing each other. I also saw them after the babies were born. With one, it was a little strange when she showed me her new engagement ring then, as usual, peeled off her top and went to her knees (she was never big on foreplay). She also came to see me the day she returned from her destination wedding when her new hubby flew off on a business trip, but we'd seen each other at least monthly for over two years by then.

You may be describing yourself. You may be a selfish arrogant bastard, there many in this hobby who are not. Some of his have real friendship with providers and we treat them as such.

You are missing an important distinction. I don't give a crap about what you think is fair. I have a moral issue with cheating. I don't think consent excuses it. Relationships IMHO should be sexually exclusive. You can say I am being hypocritical but I don't need to defend myself to you. I believe that my situation is an exception. If you don't understand why I think my situation is different I simply do not care. Fact is if I find out a provider has a SO I simply won't see them. Get over it.

cheating is bad or that relationships should be exclusive, yes you are a HYPOCRITE because your situation does NOT excuse you! You don't have to cheat to save your marriage..you CHOOSE to do so and then justify it by playing the "poor me" card. How ya like that, sparky? You are the one LYING to your wife...I did not promise a guy's wife, shit! They did ha ha.

I too would never cheat on a mate, but guess what...I am not out here preaching about cheating, either. I don't care what someone else chooses to do in THEIR relationships, but it does not mean that because I will fk a married man, that I also have to cheat on my man. Seems like you think your case is original, and it's not. Every guy here has a sad story.

-- Modified on 3/28/2013 9:50:33 AM

Many of the providers I see have husbands, long-term BFs, etc.  Does it bother me?  No.

What does bother me is hearing about it at any length at all.  I have a tendency to not "play the field" much in the hobby world--I have one or two faves in any given city and that's about it.  For me, part of the whole GFE thing is not just what happens under the sheets--the "fantasy of intimacy" thing is important also; I like the conversation part and dinner or show part as much as the "juicy details" part.  But this is p4p after all--so I don't really think I should be obliged to listen to them complain about problems with their SOs, just because I've been complaining about my problems with mine.

Once I (inevitably) learn their real names, and they start talking about their real lives...well, I wouldn't say I start falling in love with them, but I do start thinking of them as friends, and start to wonder why we're on the clock during any period of time when we're not in the hotel room.  And if we actually do have any common interests (both like the same TV shows, sports teams, similar politics, whatever), it becomes almost inevitable that I'll start sending them those "Wow, can you believe what happened on 'Mad Men' last night?" sorts of texts/emails.

See?  Now it's getting hard to figure out where the boundary lines of our relationship might lie.  I think it's probably better from a business-management perspective for providers to offer as little information as possible on their exact "situation" with respect to their civvie boyfriend or husband.

My two cents...