After almost 2 years partaking in this wonderful "hobby", I have begun to notice that when I go out places (malls, restaurants etc.) I see women that I think might be escorts (based solely on my terrible tendency to typecast based on certain physical traits) and even contemplate approaching them (but so far haven't).

Has anybody else experienced this and more importantly, anyone actually approached a lady in this context? If so, what was your approach?

discretion is the most important element of the hobby.

If you see someone in public you are interested in, try approaching her in a way that could lead to a normal date. You just might find that it is possible to screw a women without leaving an envelope on the nightstand.

Is your last sentence hypothetical or from personal experience? Being married, leaving the envelope takes away some of the guilt. If I were to go the direction you suggest (which has crossed my mind) I feel like it would take things into more dangerous territory.

just because a lady may be a provider does not mean she wants to be solicited when she is out and about. Quite frankly i find it offensive. I have a life that is just like everyones else and I do not want anyone that I deal with on a day to day business to know what my real business is...no I am not ashamed but the amoutn of disrespect and jealousy from others that comes from it is very problematic and I choose to avoid it so that my goals can be reached with a minimum of problems. If you see her and recognize her from an ad then contact her via that ad. We are not street walkers and enjoy the relative anonymity that the internet gives us...why do you think that there are so many Girl next door types doing this now?

For me I am ALWAYS turning and raising my eyes in doubletakes as I think...hmmm I know him, hmm he looks really really familar.  Lately, when out in public I dress extremely conservative and I think it draws them  to look even more... I can't win   but I would never ever ever approach anyone I suspect.  They would have to approach me to say hi.

Then theres the stores that sell candy.  My stomach always turns when a kid says... daddy I want some candy... thats when I say... why couldnt I have been a normal name... why can't I change?  

Because hobbiest don't like that...

I totally agree with your statement. I am a girl next door and what I do is Private & discreet.

-- Modified on 9/1/2002 11:20:05 PM

Way back when I'd first discovered this site and had been looking at HeatherBarron's reviews and web page I was considering my first step into the hobby.  I got a total double (so to speak) take experience when I rounded the corner of an isle in an electronics store and found myself face to face with HER.  I didn't have the nerve to say anything, but I sure must have had a look on my face.

I later e-mailed her about it and she told me that I should have said something to her.  Still, I don't think that I sould do that.

... and you would be right to worry about that dangerous territory.

I have had a few affairs (e.g., no envelope on the nightstand).  One ended okay and I still think about her sometimes.  Another was a disaster that almost ended my marriage.  Had to call the police when she camped out at our house and demanded to talk to my wife; left my job after she showed up there trying to see me; etc.  Oh, and I later found out that she gave me a VD which took over two years to finally get rid of (thank GOD I did not pass that on to my wife or I would certainly be a single guy now!!).  The problem is, most woman who would sleep with a married guy without getting paid are (a) dangerous and mildly mentally disturbed, usually cage rattlers who need chaos in their lives, or (b) desperate and lonely (and therefore also dangerous because they will NEVER want to end the relationship, and in any event there must be something wrong to make her so desperate), or (c) drunk or high.  (a) and (b) lead to disaster, but are usually what I end up with when I have tried this.  If you are lucky, you will get (b) which at least can be manipulated (my last fling with a lonely desperate woman worked out okay; but I had to end it by convincing her to enroll in school to get her MBA -- 900 miles away from me!!! -- I was lucky with that one, it would have gone on forever otherwise).  The cute drunk (c) may work out once, but is not really that much fun, and if she is a regular, she is probably a regular alchoholic, and therefore falls in category (a) as well.

I am sure that somewhere there are horney, hot women who like sex without commitment or emotional attachment, do not charge for it, and don't care if you are married.  But, I have not met one yet.      

If you enjoy russian roulette with real bullets, then yes, go ahead and cheat and date instead of paying up!  But from my extensive experience, I would strongly urge you to follow your intuition and PAY AS MUCH AS YOU HAVE TO PAY to keep it simple.

Who was it that said "the most expensive sex is the sex that you get for free" ?