I haven't been stood up ever but I can alway try to relate. Having providers/clients available isn't the real thing. It's a business transaction as harsh as that might sound. I never see my clients as walking dollar bills but it's against my grain to lie and say it's the same as dating in the real world. There are people that pay for my time that I would never see again and we are talking about money. There's an anticipation that a man in the hobby can not give you. A look, no expectations, no reviews being written, you are being seen as you (Your real name), no a sexual object, not a provider. You are you. That sounds terrible and I know people will probably might not like my answer but I'm no liar and the truth is the truth. I can assure you the guy that stood you up, you liked psychically and you were looking forward to seeing him. Genuinely seeing him, not because he had your donation. You can never compare a civie to a client as the expectations from a civie are lower than a clients and yeah he doesn't review, he doesn't expect anything the first time you see him. He doesn't know you. To me it's so different, very different. Why would you want to date a civie while doing this line of work my love, I will never understand but that doesn't mean I don't support you. You are a pretty, witty girl I would book you (and holy shit am I picky reason being I don't like women I look at everything) don't feel bad it is what it is. It's obviously his lost. If you seek you shall find just be careful the waters you travel. As having a double life isn't easy and finding a man that understands this is nearly impossible.
xoxo
Roxanne
thank you, girl
i appreciate kind words and the support
Posted By: RoxanneHeartNYC
I haven't been stood up ever but I can alway try to relate. Having providers/clients available isn't the real thing. It's a business transaction as harsh as that might sound. I never see my clients as walking dollar bills but it's against my grain to lie and say it's the same as dating in the real world. There are people that pay for my time that I would never see again and we are talking about money. There's an anticipation that a man in the hobby can not give you. A look, no expectations, no reviews being written, you are being seen as you (Your real name), no a sexual object, not a provider. You are you. That sounds terrible and I know people will probably might not like my answer but I'm no liar and the truth is the truth. I can assure you the guy that stood you up, you liked psychically and you were looking forward to seeing him. Genuinely seeing him, not because he had your donation. You can never compare a civie to a client as the expectations from a civie are lower than a clients and yeah he doesn't review, he doesn't expect anything the first time you see him. He doesn't know you. To me it's so different, very different. Why would you want to date a civie while doing this line of work my love, I will never understand but that doesn't mean I don't support you. You are a pretty, witty girl I would book you (and holy shit am I picky reason being I don't like women I look at everything) don't feel bad it is what it is. It's obviously his lost. If you seek you shall find just be careful the waters you travel. As having a double life isn't easy and finding a man that understands this is nearly impossible.
xoxo
Roxanne
I would have said the same thing but don't know if I would get the same response from O.
Is he a client? Trying to change the relationship, just hanging out/dinner OTC or someone you met ITL.
I guess that's the "there's more to the story" that you don't need to share. You might say, I got your back too ...
he is a civie 100%, was not our first date
Posted By: nothrofboston
I would have said the same thing but don't know if I would get the same response from O.
Is he a client? Trying to change the relationship, just hanging out/dinner OTC or someone you met ITL.
I guess that's the "there's more to the story" that you don't need to share. You might say, I got your back too ...
Unless he has a really good excuse, I imagine it will be his last.
Getting stood up sucks, whether in P4P, "real" dating, or really any other situation where you simply get left hanging without so much as a word of explanation.
a NCNS ... it's the f'in age of technology ... unacceptable.
Back to my mantra. .. Rule 1. Trust, hobby and IRL
Sorry that happened to you, Octavia
-- Modified on 1/16/2016 10:53:42 AM
Death, being in a coma, arrested with your phone being confiscated, did I mention death?
See, there are a LOT of acceptable excuses for NCNS. From the tone of her post however, I seriously doubt any of these reasons are the explanation for her date's failure to show up, in which case I hardly blame her for kicking his lame ass to the curb.
I recently wrote about my relationship with someone. Tragically that all came to an abrupt end last night. There are certain things in a relationship that I hold as pillars and sadly I learned she had violated the one I consider the most sacred. Now I'm cleaning up the mess from it.
So civie life sometimes is not always as wonderful as we hope for
It's my honest impression that almost every client that wants to date
an escort is blinded by the sex and guess who's gonna get hurt ... someone open for more, and in Octavia's case, she's also looking for love.
What guy in their right mind wouldn't want a woman with her charms and speaking from my experience with her, she is a sweetheart. Yes, it's hard finding THEE guy, or woman for that matter. I just think it's even harder here than IRL and that's fucking hard enough.
Where I partially disagree, is where "broke" is concerned. No one wants to be taken advantage of, but in the case of men, it's OK to have money and lavish gifts and a nice lifestyle on someone you love? So why would a less affluent guy not be the best person for any one of us. Are you looking for love or love and money? Neither is a bad choice. But, the more money someone seeks, the smaller the gene pool and the more selective they become. So I could fall for the right hooker, but will some IRL rich dude REALLY take you as you are/were and as seriously as you might deserve? Or treat you like a hooker ( watch the first half of Pretty Woman). I pose the question but I can't claim the answer.
Not being as affluent as I was makes me INSECURE because of my perceived notions and the outcomes of some of the more serious relationships IRL. The more money I had, the more desirable I was. Sweet huh. I'm not broke, just not as affluent with as much "who gives a shit available cash" as I used to have.
It doesn't preclude me from being the right guy for the right woman. And vice versa. I think I'm a pretty good catch for the right woman, regardless. We just won't be living in a million dollar home like I did.
My advice is to not try so hard, it'll happen if and when it's supposed to happen and as Diana Ross sang ... "Mama said . you can't hurry live, no you just have to wait ...she said, love don't come easy, it's a game of give and take ...
Patience butterfly .... this sentiment is for you sweet one. If I was younger, you'd definitely be on my radar. I am different, but I'm not saying in what way ... lol
I learned a long time ago there is always going to be a younger, taller, richer, more handsome guy with a bigger dick right that she has seen and is going to meet in the future, but if it's me she has chosen I have to be secure in the fact that I am who she wants.
Trying to compete with every john your hooker GF comes into contact with will accomplish nothing but driving you nuts and driving her away. Jealousy and insecurity are about as sexually appealing as a guy with no spine. Too bad most guys won't ever understand this.
I have dated a LOT of providers and quite frankly I am never "blinded" by the sex. I can have all the sex I want just by shelling out a few bucks on a pro. That's the beauty of P4P, it keeps you from being blinded by sex, or at least it is supposed to.
It's also been my experience is that you should never look for love, when it's right it has a habit of finding you, not the other way around
i wish all men were secure in themselves like you are, my life would be much easier
Posted By: GaGambler
I learned a long time ago there is always going to be a younger, taller, richer, more handsome guy with a bigger dick right that she has seen and is going to meet in the future, but if it's me she has chosen I have to be secure in the fact that I am who she wants.
Trying to compete with every john your hooker GF comes into contact with will accomplish nothing but driving you nuts and driving her away. Jealousy and insecurity are about as sexually appealing as a guy with no spine. Too bad most guys won't ever understand this.
I have dated a LOT of providers and quite frankly I am never "blinded" by the sex. I can have all the sex I want just by shelling out a few bucks on a pro. That's the beauty of P4P, it keeps you from being blinded by sex, or at least it is supposed to.
It's also been my experience is that you should never look for love, when it's right it has a habit of finding you, not the other way around
You are spot on with many of your comments. I was very secure about this relationship. I knew she providing, wasn't thrilled, but I accepted it. I certainly was not blinded by sex, that is only one aspect of any relationship.
This was not something I planned for expected. It evolved on it's own. She made a decision to violate the trust, in spite of the fact we were engaged. That's something I won't tolerate in any way, shape or form. It's that simple in my world.
What brought me here was the fact that in this world, there is no expectations beyond have fun and parting ways after with no hassles.
For me trust and honesty I'd the baseline for any relationship. Every.
Sorry to hear you were so far along in it to have the rug pulled on you
When this happened, I don't remember if you stated it, but most of us are resilient and get back on our feet and seek what truly makes us happy. And when we find it, aaaah, it's a wonderful thing.
Regards
Exactly, if you have neither you have zero. I live my life very straightforward. There are no surprises.
I'm glad it happened now versus later. I'm not interested in getting married just to have it fall apart afterwards. Call me old fashioned in this regard.
I'm fine with this ending. Life is too short not to dust oneself off and move on. I'm just cleaning up some loose ends. Sadly, her decision cost her a lot more than a broken relationship. She's put herself in a situation that I wouldn't wish on anyone.
-- Modified on 1/16/2016 1:15:40 PM
ry reading the post again. It wasn't that complicated. At least you didn't cut and paste my words (your last paragraph) ... I understand the forum and the role you fill here. It's quite fun, you're usually entertaining, offer some good advice and suggestions and there's nothing wrong with a little good ball busting. Cia
OUTSTANDING post---everything you say is spot on!! A secure man will always find somebody--(women are more turned on by genuine confidence than ANY other trait--I've heard this time and time again!!) Like you said GaG--love will find you--NOT the other way around. (Goes back to that ancient adage: "The more you look--the harder it is to find." --one of life's ultimate truths!!)
I am sorry to hear you were stood up.
Just remember inside or outside this hobby things happen.
Also we always pay for things in the long run.
If it's a civie relationship or hobby date.
The money part always comes into play somewhere.
This hobby you know how much money upfront and outside on a regular date.
Well let's just say find a good person to date because you don't want to date a broke person.
Just looking to take advantage of you.
I know for me personally having more than one woman is the way to go.
Posted By: RoxanneHeartNYC
I haven't been stood up ever but I can alway try to relate. Having providers/clients available isn't the real thing. It's a business transaction as harsh as that might sound. I never see my clients as walking dollar bills but it's against my grain to lie and say it's the same as dating in the real world. There are people that pay for my time that I would never see again and we are talking about money. There's an anticipation that a man in the hobby can not give you. A look, no expectations, no reviews being written, you are being seen as you (Your real name), no a sexual object, not a provider. You are you. That sounds terrible and I know people will probably might not like my answer but I'm no liar and the truth is the truth. I can assure you the guy that stood you up, you liked psychically and you were looking forward to seeing him. Genuinely seeing him, not because he had your donation. You can never compare a civie to a client as the expectations from a civie are lower than a clients and yeah he doesn't review, he doesn't expect anything the first time you see him. He doesn't know you. To me it's so different, very different. Why would you want to date a civie while doing this line of work my love, I will never understand but that doesn't mean I don't support you. You are a pretty, witty girl I would book you (and holy shit am I picky reason being I don't like women I look at everything) don't feel bad it is what it is. It's obviously his lost. If you seek you shall find just be careful the waters you travel. As having a double life isn't easy and finding a man that understands this is nearly impossible.
xoxo
Roxanne
-- Modified on 1/16/2016 7:06:19 AM
I might get stood up a couple of times, which doesn't really cost me anything other than maybe a little frustration.
But then when it works out, I wind up having a great time, and although it's not always cheap, it's not like I have to pay several hundred an hour.
The second major factor is just the psychologic boost of knowing the person I'm having sex with is doing so ... simply for the enjoyment of the sex, or of of being with my uber charming self. Her nipples get harder, her pussy wetter. Her moans are more genuine and intense. When it's done, we can lie there as long as we want without looking at the clock. And I feel like I did her a solid.
Nothing like having a girl tell you after sex "I needed that!" Obviously civies aren't getting it as much. It's not a job to them. They have a million other things going on in their lives, and sometimes a really good fuck just hit the spot for them and satisfies an itch they've been wanting to have scratched all week.
Makes me feel really good when I can do that for them.
Obviously, for providers this answer will be very different.
Posted By: octavia.lexa
got stood up by a civie date on a friday night
for those of you who still try to date civies once in a while?what keeps you motivated and willing to take a plunge when you have providers/clients available
Posted By: octavia.lexa
got stood up by a civie date on a friday night
for those of you who still try to date civies once in a while?what keeps you motivated and willing to take a plunge when you have providers/clients available
The thrill of the chase.
You can never predict it, and you go home unhappy...
Not part of play anymore....
Hi Octavia,
I am so sorry to hear that you got stood up tonight. No one deserves that type of behavior but unfortunately it happens more than you think in real life dating. Like you I got stood up last Friday and my first thought was they have no idea the great guy they left hanging. You deserve someone who is going to want to take care of you and who deserves your love. Where the hobby has some guidelines and rules real life dating is a zest pool of people who only care about themselves. With all that being said you need to try and find someone else. You can't let one jerk decide that your not being worth his time is worth you giving up on finding someone who will truly make you happy.
The thing that keeps me motivated is that I know this world that we play in isn't real. I know that I deserve someone who is going to want me to be a part of there life. I have treated dating in this hobby like dating in the real world and unfortunate they are two different worlds. I know what i am looking for. I want someone outgoing who has a sense of humor who is going to bring the best out of me and make me want to be a better person. I made the decision that I want something real. I don't want it being based on a donation. Yes online dating in the real world is tough but when I look at everyone around me (parents sister grandparents and friends) I see that is what I want and why I continue to push for more real dates and less paying dates
As far as looking as tonight as losing money on a potential client you can't think that way. The way I would look at it is you took a chance on something that you wouldn't normally do and it didn't work out. There won't be a more fulfilling feeling than when you find the right guy who is right for you.Stick with it
Keep your head up you are an amazing women and you deserve the best. You have always had a fan in me. In closing stay positive. Give it another try you might be blown away by the next guy you give a chance to.
Smile it can only get better. There is no way to go but up.
If you want to talk in private feel free to reach out.
Zak
Posted By: octavia.lexa
got stood up by a civie date on a friday night
for those of you who still try to date civies once in a while?what keeps you motivated and willing to take a plunge when you have providers/clients available
Thank you,Zak...everything you described makes sense to me..i will keep on trying to find someone who brings out the best in me and wants me to be part of their lives....i will not give up...
i am like you in a sense, that i have come to realization that hobby is not real...guys, i really like and have a good chemistry with, turn around and ask for a reference instead of asking me out...this not a real world, and i want real emotions and connections...
Posted By: Zak0326
Hi Octavia,
I am so sorry to hear that you got stood up tonight. No one deserves that type of behavior but unfortunately it happens more than you think in real life dating. Like you I got stood up last Friday and my first thought was they have no idea the great guy they left hanging. You deserve someone who is going to want to take care of you and who deserves your love. Where the hobby has some guidelines and rules real life dating is a zest pool of people who only care about themselves. With all that being said you need to try and find someone else. You can't let one jerk decide that your not being worth his time is worth you giving up on finding someone who will truly make you happy.
The thing that keeps me motivated is that I know this world that we play in isn't real. I know that I deserve someone who is going to want me to be a part of there life. I have treated dating in this hobby like dating in the real world and unfortunate they are two different worlds. I know what i am looking for. I want someone outgoing who has a sense of humor who is going to bring the best out of me and make me want to be a better person. I made the decision that I want something real. I don't want it being based on a donation. Yes online dating in the real world is tough but when I look at everyone around me (parents sister grandparents and friends) I see that is what I want and why I continue to push for more real dates and less paying dates
As far as looking as tonight as losing money on a potential client you can't think that way. The way I would look at it is you took a chance on something that you wouldn't normally do and it didn't work out. There won't be a more fulfilling feeling than when you find the right guy who is right for you.Stick with it
Keep your head up you are an amazing women and you deserve the best. You have always had a fan in me. In closing stay positive. Give it another try you might be blown away by the next guy you give a chance to.
Smile it can only get better. There is no way to go but up.
If you want to talk in private feel free to reach out.
Zak
Posted By: octavia.lexa
got stood up by a civie date on a friday night
for those of you who still try to date civies once in a while?what keeps you motivated and willing to take a plunge when you have providers/clients available
I'd rather go with the sure thin
jealousy
)
James Bond?
If so, relax; he's always doing that - and for good reason, ridding the land of evil doers
Are providers that keep me from seeking a Civie.
The p4p is that they leave.
I enjoyed my Civie break but it started to become more and more dramatic.
No drama 1 hr. at a time once or twice a week!
lol
you said yourself in previous posts that to find out if it is a real, money should be taken out-of-the-equation
I am sorry you got stood up. I am glad that you are willing to take a chance on LOVE because that's the only way you will ever find it. No, you can not equate the loss of income with taking the chance. Just as in the hobby, however, he owes you an appology & a damn good reason. Etiquatte originated IRL, not the other way around. Anyone who is so disrespectful of your time & feelings is not worthy (lacking the appology already mentioned).
Don't give up. Someday you will find what you are looking for.
thank you
Posted By: harborview
I am sorry you got stood up. I am glad that you are willing to take a chance on LOVE because that's the only way you will ever find it. No, you can not equate the loss of income with taking the chance. Just as in the hobby, however, he owes you an appology & a damn good reason. Etiquatte originated IRL, not the other way around. Anyone who is so disrespectful of your time & feelings is not worthy (lacking the appology already mentioned).
Don't give up. Someday you will find what you are looking for.
ut I already agree with you 100%. Unless I had a death in the family or I was dying myself ...
... I can't imagine passing up an opportunity to meet with a girl as beautiful and seemingly interesting as that.
Maybe if Kate Upton called and begged me to date here. Hmmmm. Maybe that's what happened. ha ha. "Sorry, I have to cancel because Kate just won't leave me alone!"
* Disclaimer: I am one of OL's White Knights, so take what I say with a grain of salt. *
thank you
i really appreciate it
Kate upton is pretty but she is brain dead, we know that
check this link out lol
Posted By: some-guy
But I already agree with you 100%. Unless I had a death in the family or I was dying myself ...
... I can't imagine passing up an opportunity to meet with a girl as beautiful and seemingly interesting as that.
Maybe if Kate Upton called and begged me to date here. Hmmmm. Maybe that's what happened.
ha ha. "Sorry, I have to cancel because Kate just won't leave me alone!"
* Disclaimer: I am one of OL's White Knights, so take what I say with a grain of salt. *
Right now, it's mostly the fact that I fund my hobbying by setting aside $20 a week. It takes two or three months for me to save up enough for a provider. In the meantime, I am left with no choice but to pursue civies.
And I say that in both senses of the word. But here's a question. Since you don't really want to go out with civvies, how much would you be able to save if you stopped going out with them and put the money towards seeing hookers? How often do you date and how much do you spend on the average date? And how often are you getting laid for your money. Do the math. Rosie Palm is your friend.
it's only when I meet someone special that I desire a romantic connection with another human being. Without that temptation, it all just seems like too much trouble. I guess I am a selfish bastard, because I'm addicted to doing what I want, when I want. If I want to stay in at night, I can. If I want to eat fish today, I can. If I want to eat steak tomorrow, I can. If I want to go to a concert, I can. If I want to watch a movie, I can. If I decide, tomorrow, that I want to go on a road trip...I can just pick up and go 
When there's nobody special in my life, I don't give dating or romance a second thought, except to think, "Gee, I wonder who the f*** I am going to take to So-and-So's wedding?
client or SO..........would be a fool...........to stand YOU up...........OBVIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!
thank you)
Posted By: LasVegan
client or SO..........would be a fool...........to stand YOU up...........OBVIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!
And overall it's better to learn that on the first date rather than six months or a year down the road.
From my perspective civie dating is worth it if you want to find someone to come home to, cuddle with at night, go with to family functions, plan a life with and grow old with. Not everyone wants the same things and to be honest relationships take time and sacrafice. Maybe not exactly sacrifice if it's a good relationship you should truly feel good about giving to your partner and if you do it's not really sacrafice.
That being said you are very beautiful, stunning really and I for one would do anything I could for at least a first date. You seem intelligent, honest, articulate, sincere and actually open to finding a partner I am not sure what else a man could ask for in a first date. If anything maybe he was intimidated by you but what ever the reason I would put it behind you and move on. I can promise you will find someone who makes you smile simply by being there if you keep looking for it and are open to finding it.
Best of luck in your search.
Posted By: octavia.lexa
got stood up by a civie date on a friday night
for those of you who still try to date civies once in a while?what keeps you motivated and willing to take a plunge when you have providers/clients available
thank you
it was not our first date
and he gave excuses but they were not good enough
Posted By: 613spades
And overall it's better to learn that on the first date rather than six months or a year down the road.
From my perspective civie dating is worth it if you want to find someone to come home to, cuddle with at night, go with to family functions, plan a life with and grow old with. Not everyone wants the same things and to be honest relationships take time and sacrafice. Maybe not exactly sacrifice if it's a good relationship you should truly feel good about giving to your partner and if you do it's not really sacrafice.
That being said you are very beautiful, stunning really and I for one would do anything I could for at least a first date. You seem intelligent, honest, articulate, sincere and actually open to finding a partner I am not sure what else a man could ask for in a first date. If anything maybe he was intimidated by you but what ever the reason I would put it behind you and move on. I can promise you will find someone who makes you smile simply by being there if you keep looking for it and are open to finding it.
Best of luck in your search
.
Posted By: octavia.lexa
got stood up by a civie date on a friday night
for those of you who still try to date civies once in a while?what keeps you motivated and willing to take a plunge when you have providers/clients available
That makes it more understandable if he had a really legitimate excuse but either way I hope you keep looking for the man you want.
sooooo I'm still relatively new and I don't see the word civie in the newbie section. Urban dictionary doesn't have anything for me either. The only thing I think of as to what it means is civilian. If that's what it means can you please elaborate?
Octavia was stood up by a civie. He wasn't a client just a guy she was going on a non P4P date with.
Civies in my mind and from my point of view (male client of escorts) aren't providers and don't know about my "hobby". My seeing them has nothing to do with P4P
Civies are so inconsiderate these days. They think nothing of showing up late or not showing at all.
sometimes he showed up after asking me to get a room and sometimes not. Totally flakey...it exhausted me and killed my sexual attraction. After I divorced, I want to explore my sexuality again. I was not 100% that I had a sex drive at all! Boy, was I wrong!
I like being respected...like men who make a plan and follow through. I adore opening that door and greeting someone who wants me because he literally chose me. I don't have to be caught up in whether is is misleading me...it does not matter for the most part. We can just focus on hedinistically enjoying our time together.
I would not say give up on civvie dates...but it is hard in this line of fun and games to explore it unless it is with someone who really gets you and won't get mind fucked by the experience.
