And here's why. For me, if I know that your level of arousal is directly related to mine, I tend to panic and shut down...It puts way too much pressure on me to perform and if you are not doing what it takes or there is no chemistry (remember you chose me) then I am left to do one of two things, get an Oscar or tell you "it's going to be all about you", as in don't wait for the earth shattering orgasm.

Now, given that you may have let it known that my level of excitement etc determines yours, I am more inclined to go the Oscar route, being as you paid for me to fulfill something.

Now do these preferences have to be directly sexual in nature? If not I love being massaged. It is relaxing and the more relaxed I am the better I am.

Maybe for moi, it's best of we get comfortable with each other and if everything is moving in the right direction I could possibly vocalize a particular preference. being asked after 5 minutes of meeting will most definitely give me the deer in the headlights look for a millisecond and after I recover possibly say, "let's see how things progress, you might surprise me and I might not have to tell you".

for me, it's important that such things are known about each other long before we ever meet. because i always screened for compatibility, it was typical for me to spend weeks or sometimes even months in communication with a new gent before ever even discussing a meeting. during this time we will discuss everything from that embarrassing incident in kindergarten to the wife and kids, the job, life philosophies, and everything in between and around. our personalities need to be complementary as well as our sexualities. this does not mean discussion need ever become sexually explicit, but over time i should know a man well enough to understand his needs and desires, in and out of the sack. so when we finally do meet (if we meet), it is just a matter of fitting the final piece in the puzzle.

i am not one of those providers who acts or provides a "fantasy." i developed genuine relationships with my clients, many of which turned into actual friendships (as in, they are welcome to dinner with the Hubby and i friendships). so the importance of compatibility cannot be overstated.

and i have to agree with saturnsky that any man saying or implying that his pleasure depended utterly on my own would make me very uncomfortable. not just because i am a pleaser myself, but because it creates immense pressure and you are basically setting up someone to fail (the provider, in making you happy). not a good thing.