many of the ladies have a regular job but like the extra income..I also see very few and will not drop anyone(unless I have to for other reasons), but will be more available to the special guys and a little less to the guys I may not want to see that often.
Lets say a provider you've been seeing regularly for years gets a new career and decided to only continue seeing a couple of her ATFs.
You don't make the cut.
Would you rather her be honest and tell you shes just going to just see a couple of favorites from now on?
Or would you rather her tell you shes retiring outright? (a lie.)
If she told you she was retiring and somehow you found out through the backchannels that she was indeed still seeing a few guys, would you be angry with her or not care?
Whats the best way for a provider to go UTR without hurting feelings or making someone mad?
She isn't my girlfriend, wife or any SO for that matter. I pay her for sex, bottom line. There is NO attachment what so ever, NONE!
There are PLENTY and I mean PLENTY of other ladies out there, just as talented eager to take my money.
To answer your question, I would not care at all! It's not like we sign contracts that state we need to continue to see each other. It's not even a big deal, trust me.
And it does make sense for the majority of my clients (the ones who just saw me as a service provider). However, there are some who are a bit emotionally attached and this is where I am finding it sticky to part ways.
a direct, no-nonsense approach. If a hooker doesn't want to see me, I will quickly dial the next one on my to do list and book with the next one. So the sooner I find out, the better. I am not going to waste your time, and I dare not waste mine...
That being said, some guys can't HANDLE THE TRUTH....Depending on their maturity level, you need to make that decision for yourself. I would highly advise against one shoe fits all approach.
We got morons on the board, who don't call providers, providers...I would advise a kinder approach towards such individuals.
That being said, remember...You, me, and SANTA together can't please every single person in the world....So don't even try
No person starts providing thinking this is a permanant carreer choice. It is wise to lay the groundwork for an alternative carreer. If she's working a day job, she's going have much less availablity . Rather than picking & choosing customers... I'd recommend she explain her lack of availability. If she has a good client base built up, great... but it would be foolish to alienate any repeat client.
What if the new carreer doesn't work out OR what if some of the chosen few drift away over time. My feeling is she should keep seeing more than she must initially... let natural progression weed out the excess.
One of my Fav ladies... has a day job... but still sees 1 or 2 clients a week... her income is just not enough without it.
A local gal... not a provider (I wish)... waitressed her way through dental hygenists school. Did the dental thing but kept waitressing a couple of nights. When times got tough... the waitressing paid better...
many of the ladies have a regular job but like the extra income..I also see very few and will not drop anyone(unless I have to for other reasons), but will be more available to the special guys and a little less to the guys I may not want to see that often.
The policy of telling the least is the best.
Just say you are changing your life and won't be available.
Some guys are VERY much in our business and take our decisions very personally.
But yes, with the majority of guys, a simple, "Life has changed and Im no longer available" will easily suffice.
has a secret agenda of causing mass wrist slitting in the hobbying community..... 
I just love and gore.
Basketball coach Abe Lemons once said that the toughest thing to tell a ball player is the following:
"Son, only five guys can start and you ain't one of them." Lol. --z
If I told the truth and I feel it's worth more for me to continue to see her then I'll offer a higher rate to her. If it's rejected then I'll just move on. It's a business to her and a hobby for me so it's nothing personal and not worth to get emotional over it. If she lied and continue to see other then I will treat it no different than been told the truth. Nothing personal and no need to get emotional about it. Just move on when it's over.
I see two UTR ladies and, quite honestly, when they decided to go UTR they just stopped answering the emails and calls from the guys they didn't want to see anymore. Within a few weeks they were no longer being contacted by those guys. We all get the hint and move on.
The VAST and I do mean VAST majority of providers don't announce retirement, they just disappear. These guys are customers, if you trust a few of them enough to tell them your plans that's up to you I guess but you don't owe anyone any explanations about what you do with your life.
You are not retired to those, you decided to see and retired for everyone else. Why is it so hard? In this situation you are telling the truth whichever way one decides to go.
There will be some hurt feelings and it will only last till the mongers find another ATF.
You don't make the cut.
Would you rather her be honest and tell you shes just going to just see a couple of favorites from now on?
Or would you rather her tell you shes retiring outright? (a lie.)
If she told you she was retiring and somehow you found out through the backchannels that she was indeed still seeing a few guys, would you be angry with her or not care?
Whats the best way for a provider to go UTR without hurting feelings or making someone mad?
Florida, I'm not sure I see the problem. Whether you're retired or still active, why try to justify who you see (or choose not to see). You don't want to see Client X anymore, but you still want to see Client Y. Doesn't this happen on a regular basis with active providers? I doubt anything you say to Client X will be well received.
To your credit, it sounds like you're a little guilt-stricken about cutting off several guys who've been steady clients. But that's the nature of the sex trade--you better have thick skin or you'll get hurt. Politely decline any offer from Client X and encourage him to contact someone else. If he doesn't get the hint, then he's definitely the one with the problem, not you. --z
Because they won't be flexible to your new life.
I tried to say earlier, try not to be mean... they were there for you (as customers) when you needed them. But it's not a negociation. Mr Fisher is right, less is more. If they cared for you, they should be happy for you (that's the spin I'd use).
UTR... Under The Radar... to be truely UTR one takes down ads, closes web site. One possibility would be to change emails & phone numbers (call it your PVT LINE) and let the old go dormant. You could put a vacation message on it... or retirement... to reforce your decision & avoid having to repeatedly decline offers.
I'm so glad I asked the question here rather than the provider only board.
I completely agree and have already done these things you mentioned. Because I do have a few who don't take no's easily.
Only the smart ones answered the question... .
Now that everything is down and off (I assume), cut off communication with the ones who won't let go. They have no choice other than to respect your decision to quit but try to let them down easily and let them know how much you appreciated them while you were in the biz. It's none of their business if you plan to still see a few UTR and if you're truly UTR, no one will ever know you're seeing anyone. You'll find that there's a lot more respect in the UTR world and people are much better at keeping secrets.
I'll miss my ATF's when they quit but I'll also be happy for them as they move into a mainstream lifestyle.
Especially the email and phone...that way you can give the new numbers to those you want to see. Let's hope they don't answer a "What ever happened to Mary" question on a board and one bright spark says, "Oh I still see her on the side", and he backchannels your new number. Yeah that has happened. However, to cut down on some of the crap, I would do what you suggested in a heart beat.
how to move on. Not whether to move on or not...
See Florida_E, what I was saying in my post above...
Tell him you are seeing a small circle of clients right now, and that's it.
If he asks why, tell him.
Until you have experienced the wrath of a hobbyist who won't take no for an answer. That happens way too often. It has happened to me over a request for an appointment and I politely refused and was dumb enough to tell him exactly why when he asked. It happened more than 3 times and now I MSU (make shit up). Lord knows what might happen if the guy was a regular that she chooses not to see.
It's a real crap shoot with who will go off the deep end and who will act like and adult and move right along. I really prefer to tell the truth but have been burned by it. I guess it's much like guys who have had a run of bad experiences with non reviewed providers...they now stick to ladies who have reviews.
Same as my preference for DATY...haha.
happens all the time..i usually am one of the guys that make the cut..so i cant feel your pain..
But dont really see the need to throw it in his face other than to say you appreciate the time you spent but are stepping away. At the end of the day as a man, hobby or no hobby you have to understand if a woman wants you in her life she will let you know. At the end of the day being a man 101 and have to accept it. My 2 cents.