Got a question about this.(using a different alias here to keep the provider in question discreet,but I do have a lot of reviews with my other alias)I've been see this provider for almost a year now.I do see other providers,sometimes she asks me if I've seen someone new.I tell her yes,she acts if it's ok,but sometimes I'm not sure.Lately,she makes me her last appointment,we talk a bit after,then she offers me if I want to sleep over for the night(3 times),saying it's late,not wanting me to drive home(20-30 minutes at the most to get home,I'm single by the way)I did twice,being a gentleman didn't try anything at all,just went to sleep,besides her.She said,I'm a very nice guy.Seems like she enjoys my company,showing pics of her kids,tells me things I should really not know,but she said,she trusts me enough knowing I won't say or spread it around.She introduced me to one of her friends(who is also a provider)got kinda jealous when I said her friend moved up to my #2 gal behind her,she said I knew I've should have not introduced her to you,then she said just kidding.I not sure,am I reading into this more then I should ? Oh, I still give the donation,but she tries giving some of it back.I say no,keep it all.Is there something I'm missing or is she just being nice to me ?(she is a traveling provider)

I don't know what she is doing. From what it sounds like first off, she is jealous about you seeing other woman. Also, she is very insecure with herself.
And the final one is that she wants you, no as a provider, but as in a real relationship.


Shaye

Be happy she enjoys your company. That means a lot. Stop jello-wrestleing  the situation, unless your needs are not being fulfilled. I personally would rather sleep alone than with someone I did not care for. Count yourself lucky unless your  not having a good time and then move on.

It could be she is just lonely and sees you as a friend.  Or she may want more from you than just a client/provider relationship.  If she asks if you've seen anybody new and makes the other comments you mention I'd say there's a good chance that she has feelings for you which go beyond professional or platonic friendship.

Question is, what do you want?  If you'd like a relationship with her then you have to establish that you're reading the signs correctly and the best way to do that is to ask her how she feels.  You could explain it's unusual that a provider should share so much personal info etc etc and say you just want to make sure you are both clear about what's going on.

One word of caution: if you do not want a relationship with her then you should not accept her invitations to sleep over and should continue to make sure she accepts the full donation.  Otherwise you would be taking advantage of her loneliness or feelings for you and that is not only not a decent way to behave but could well cause you real problems further down the line when she realises what's been going on.

The fact that she asked you to sleep over several times and tries to refund part of the donation are two huge clues she is really into you.

The next step is up to you--either do nothing and keep enjoying her company without any changes, or you could take things up a notch--bearing in mind that as with any relationship, if something untoward happens on either side, she could be out of your life for good.

Have fun, you lucky guy!

If she is showing pics of her kids, and handing money back, she is most likely playing the "trust game".  She is thinking if she gets you to trust her, she can probably depend on your bank account, call you step-daddy, and not feel bad when she asks yu to buy her a new car.

Sounds like your relationship is slipping over that "client/provider" boundary - is that really where you want it to go?  Maybe you need to have a really frank discussion with her, or maybe see her less or not at all?

-Anya

I agree with Anya,  depending on what you want. Do you or would you want this to go further if so then it's simple you have got to talk to her about what it is she wants and how she feels. Could be your reading something into nothing so you need to talk to her that way you don't have to keep wondering what she is really doing and then you can move on from there, either the two of you or just you. One thing is you need to get it out into the open. It's not fair to her if your having these different feelings or thought's about what she is doing and she is unaware of it all. You do realize though that in any case (weather your right or wong on the things that you have explained) once you do talk to her things will be different between the two of you maybe better maybe not.

the candidness on this board.  Thanks for giving an honest answer.  I hope all the guys read this.

1.   She wants to know whom else you've been seeing
2.   You're not sure by her reaction if that hurts her
3.   She makes you her last appointment
4.   Afterwards you talk to her for a bit
5.   She invites you to sleep over
6.   She is concerned for your safety
7.   You didn't expect more when you slept over
8.   She said you're a "Very Nice Guy"
9.   Shows you pictures of her children
10. Discloses potentially damaging & sensitive personal information
11. Says she trusts you with that information
12. Introduced you to a friend and seemed jealous after you'd done her
13. She said she shouldn't have introduced your friend, jokingly

Lets review:

Things that would warn me off if I were pursuing a real relationship with her: #’s 1, 2 & 8.

To me, numbers 1 and 2 indicate jealousy, possible issues of self-esteem, lack of confidence in your relationship, and a tendency to pry into your business.  Number 8 is only from my experience that when a woman tells me I’m a “Nice Guy” it generally means that she doesn’t think of me in sexual terms. This may possibly relate to number 7.

Things that indicate she wants a real relationship with you: #’s 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13.

From my perspective the indicators point overwhelmingly to her desire to have a real relationship with you.  The indicators that you/she both want a relationship with each other are 4, 7, 8, 10, & 11. Items 4, 7, 8, 10, & 11 are all based on the way you treat her which is obviously very well since she feels comfortable in letting you into her personal life, and allowing you into her bed overnight.  These items say to me that you inspire confidence, comfort, security, trust and honesty in her.  It can and often does also mean that since you’re projecting these feelings, you are probably genuinely experiencing them.  Numbers 12 and 13 could be signs of jealousy on her part, but they seem to be more about regrets. That is, regrets about her actions, not yours. She knew what you would do when you met her friend, and is not angry with you (at least outwardly) but seems to regret that she made the introduction, and now has to live with the consequences.

Recommendation:

Take a chance, Custer did!

HPG

-- Modified on 4/24/2003 2:02:49 PM

I would like to THANK everyone who responded to this question.These responses do give some insight of what I should do and not do.THANK YOU all again for your time.

Reude, I ain't no lady, but let's add up the clues here . . .

Be very careful!

Protect your heart and guard your emotions. Remember to be a good friend first and foremost and be sure to discuss the situation with her openly and candidly. That way everything will be out in the open and you can move forward into a romantic relationship and/or friendship.

If it is just a good friendship be sure to honor, respect and  cherish the friendship and to always communicate clearly and openly. That way you'll have no regrets if things don't work out.

Remember, good friends are hard to come by!

Best wishes.


-- Modified on 4/25/2003 2:35:23 PM