Excerpted from "Sex in the Romance: A Review of Romantic Encounters of the Close Kind".
(copyright John L. Ferri 1994, [email protected])


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Breathing
During arousal and subsequent sexual intercourse, there are physiological changes in both the male and the female. Breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure are the systems most commonly measured, although there are certainly other indicators. Of all the changes that occur during sex, the breathing rate is the most obvious.

During arousal, it increases from a resting rate to 35-40 breaths per minute. During orgasm, it may increase to over 50 breaths per minute then gradually return to normal. Breathing may also be irregular, shallow, or unsteady and may be accompanied by panting, moaning and sighing of varying intensities.

The affected breathing is evident to a casual observer and would not require instruments other than an ear to detect. Similar changes occur in heart rate and blood pressure, but would remain undetected because they occur silently.

Of all the physiological systems that are affected by sexual intercourse, breathing is the only one that can be voluntarily controlled. The average person has no control over the involuntary systems such as heart rate, blood pressure, erection status, lubrication, or miscellaneous swellings. However, these occur quietly so that controlling them becomes unnecessary. Changes in breathing beg for attention but can, with concentration, be controlled.

This is wonderful news for couples who have sex in locations that tend to lack privacy -- like airplanes, subways, the office at work, or even at home if your bedroom is next to your mother-in-law's. It requires practice to be effective at quiet sex and a tape recorder to monitor progress. The next time you have sex, record it. If, from the tape, you can tell that it is a recording of someone having sex, you need more practice.

The bad news is that, because of the inherent motions of sex, the low-level seismic activity is almost impossible to conceal. Even the sturdiest beds, chairs, tables, and desks tend to squeak, creak, and groan under the punishing thrashing and pounding of sex (if performed correctly). Even in a completely soundless situation, low frequency vibrations and undulations are transmitted over short distances through walls, floors, and other seemingly rigid structures. These movements are easily detected, and require only a perceptive observer.

You may be in a situation where you are both so incredibly aroused that sex is inevitable. My first recommendation would be to wait for a more private location, such as a motel room. However, when sex is involved, urgency usually overrules many of the normal considerations. So from the above discussion, I will present a few guidelines to minimize detection.

1. Control your breathing. This also includes moaning, sighing, and screaming. If the moment is extremely passionate, it may require you to bury your face in a pillow or shoulder or anything available. You also may have to stuff something suitable in your mouth, or your partner's.
2. Control your movements. This depends on the situation and location. It may require little restraint, or it may require control that is difficult to maintain. And it requires control from both participants.
Depending on the situation, you may have to use various degrees of restraint. However, if you eliminate the heavy breathing, the panting, the groaning, the thrusting, and the screaming, you may as well take a nap. Some things are just not worth doing unless they're done right.

The romance authors liked some form of "gasping" 26% of the time that breathing was referenced. Next came "panting" at 9% and "sucking" at 8%.

Additional breathing descriptions are:


Agonized gasps

air was forced from her lungs

breath rush in and out

breathing hurt her lungs

breathless urgent gasps

caught in her throat

choppy

deeply

deep, shuddering

desperate rhythm

emerging in gasps

fast and hard

forced the breath from her lungs

fought for more oxygen

gasping

gasping at his touch

grew short

halted

hard

harsh and uneven

harsh rush of his breath

he fought for his breath

heavily

heaving like a bellows

hissed

hot and moist

in fits and starts

in little gasps

irregular

labored

more rapidly

panting

pulled in a lungful of air

punctuated gasps

quick and shallow

quickening

ragged

ragged gasps

ragged sigh

rapid

shallow

shallow and fast

shallow pants

shivering inhale

short little spurts

short, harsh gasps

short, heated breaths

short, sharp gasps

shuddering in breaths of gasping completion

sucked air through her teeth

sucked in a quick breath

sucked in a sharp breath,

sucked in a startled breath

sucking in lungfuls of air as spasms of delight rocketed through her

sucking in panting breath

unsteady

warm and erratic

whispering shallowly from her lungs.
PRE

Male Orgasm -
I Came, Therefore I Am
When does sex actually start? When does it end? These are difficult questions that depend entirely on the definition of sex. To simplify matters but still leave the start and stop open, I'll define sex (short for sexual intercourse) as the intimate interaction of two individuals who care for each other with the goal of mutual pleasure and satisfaction. For the female, the perceived start may be a subtle glance from her mate, or a passing kiss, even a gentle touch. Her perception of the end is possibly when her mate moves from her. For the male, it starts with penetration and ends with his orgasm. This is not to say that he stops at this point, but until then it's sex. Afterward, it's a challenge.

Few men will agree with this, and few women will disagree. The situation is very fortunate for the male because of the perceived duration of sex. For any given sexual encounter, the female's estimate for the length of the act will be from five to ten times the male's estimate.

So, if the subject of duration ever comes up in the locker room or on the golf course, when everyone else is bragging five minutes, ten minutes, even fifteen minutes, you can confidently, through female perspective, throw out "an hour and a half" and back it up with a note from home.

In the list below, there was no overwhelming winner. Some form of "climax" and "release" each were used 11% of the time that the male orgasm was referenced. Next were "spill" at 8%, and "explode" at 5%.

The complete list is:


Abandoned himself to pleasure

allowed his molten juices to intermingle with hers

arched and cried her name

bringing him with her

bucked within her

came inside her

climaxed

climaxed together in minutes

convulsed

convulsed against her

convulsing in spasm

cry of deliverance

embalming injection

erotic release

exploded

exploded inside her

exploded within her

exploding into her

explosion of bliss

felt his hot seed spill into her

fiery culmination

final glorious moment

final moment

final moment of ecstasy

flooded himself into her

found release

frenzy of simultaneous explosions

glorious waves of splendor

great cry

groaned in blissful agony

groaned long and low

harsh groan of masculine satisfaction

his seed spilling into her

incredible climax

it began

jarring, pulsing climax

let go

lightning bolts of fulfillment

longest, hottest release of his life

lost control

love's sweet lava flowed

magnificent body shuddered

passion crested

plunged over the crest

poured himself into her

pulsating waves of pleasure

pulsating within her

pulsing life flooding her

release

releasing himself

rocketed through the universe

rode the wild and wonderful waves of sheer ecstasy

shattering release

she felt something burst inside her

shook violently

shuddered and convulsed

shuddering release

slamming thrusts of climax

soared over the edge

spent itself within her

spilled himself into her hand

spilled his seed

spilling himself

staccato spasms

stiffened in release

they came

ultimate joy

uninhibited cry of satisfaction

white-hot eruption
Appropriately missing from the list are "greased her monkey", "shot his load", "popped his wad", and the all too frequent "creamed his jeans."

Female Orgasm -
You Came, Therefore I Am
What is the goal of sex? For willing partners that care for each other, answers would include pleasure, comfort, love, relaxation, closeness, and tenderness. These and many others are partially correct, but if the list doesn't include procreation, it is grossly incomplete. The participants may be performing for other shorter term reasons, but ultimately, the goal of sex is to propagate the species.

What is actually needed for this propagation? The full requirements are a male and female each with the proper reproductive plumbing, and a system capable of delivering enough sperm to successfully fertilize an egg, if present. Ignoring artificial means, the delivery system is an erect penis. The male orgasm serves two purposes. First, it is the pumping mechanism for the sperm. Second, because it is extremely pleasurable, it is a strong motivating force that makes the positioning of the delivery system a very high priority for most males between fifteen and twenty-five years old. (After twenty-five years of age, it drops to just a high priority.)

So that everyone understands the concept, thus far we have the female and her reproductive system, the male and his, and the male orgasm. Where does the female orgasm fit? It doesn't. It's not needed for reproduction. (Some believe that pregnancy can't occur unless the female has an orgasm. They're called parents.)

For the female, sex can be pleasurable even without orgasm. However, if the female orgasm had never evolved, there would be much less of a motivating force for the female to want to have sex. Enter evolution with its incessant trials and errors and dead-ends and successes. The female evolved with a mechanism, the orgasm, whose sole purpose is to increase the frequency of sex. It makes sex pleasurable for her thus greatly increasing her desire for sex, thus increasing her frequency of sex, and thus increasing the probability of impregnation, which is the purpose of sex in the first place.

How does all this affect the male? So as not to defeat the grand scheme of evolution, it is to his benefit to see to it that his partner has an orgasm. As the saying goes, "It ain't over until the fat lady sings." Or more appropriately, "It ain't over until the lady shudders and screams."

The romance authors used some form of "release" 9% of the time, and "climax", "explode", and "spasm" each at 6%.

Others are:


Blinding, pulsing moment of release

blood-rushing climax

burned to a cinder

burst of ecstasy

came, wildly, explosively

came with soul-shattering intensity

clench deep inside her

climax of passion

climaxed together in minutes

climaxed

coming

completion

convulsed around him

convulsed into a chain of spasms

convulsive release

cry a scream

crying out

dizzying explosion of feeling

erotic release

erupted in dazzling undulations

exploded in sensation

exploded inside

exploded into a thousand pieces

explosion of ecstasy

explosive climax

fiery, cataclysmic response

final explosion

final glorious moment

final moment of ecstasy

final shattering release

final threshold of passion

found what she was seeking

frenzied explosion of exquisite sensation

frenzy of simultaneous explosions

gasping completion

glorious peak

glorious waves of splendor

great shuddering, clenching spasms

her body milking it from him

how quickly she peaked

incredible climax

intolerable pleasure

love's sweet lava flowed

molten sensation of total release

moment of release

orgasm

over the edge

overwhelming spasms

passion crested

plunged over the crest

profound shudder

pulsating waves of pleasure

reached her peak

reached their pinnacle

reaching a crescendo

release

rhythmic convulsions

riding on a wave of frenzy

ripples of ecstasy flooded through her

rode the wild and wonderful waves of sheer ecstasy

screamed against his throat

screamed in ecstasy

seized by a rush of sensation so intense

sensual waves

she cried out with unabashed abandon

shimmering in spasm

shuddered in completion

shuddered uncontrollably

spasms of pleasure

spasms

spewing forth a fountain

stiffen in climax

sweet and final cry

sweet death

sweet simultaneous miracle

that final moment

that strong, lovely sensation began to claim her again

they came

thrashed

tidal wave of enormous power

trembled on the very edge of infinity

tremors of ecstasy

ultimate joy

uncontrollable, shuddering contractions

uninhibited cry of satisfaction

wave after wave of rapture

wave of orgasm hit her

whimpered in a climax

wild eruption of pleasure

wild wave of pleasure
The two previous sections covered both female and male orgasms but made little or no reference to the simultaneous variety. Although plentiful in the romance novels, a most unique description of this elusive delight can be found in Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure, (a.k.a. Fanny Hill) and is described as

. . . she clos'd her eyes in the sweet death, in the instant of which she was embalm'd by an injection, . .

You said to pick one..
Shuderring in Breaths of Gasping Completion.

on the rhythmic, pulsating, convulsive, wave-like nature of a female O.  

Isn't sex great?