I am not a thin girl...I am a woman...with a woman's body...I am build like Raquel Welch or Marilyn Monroe...

I had a guy come to my room today...He wanted me to open my robe. So I did....Then he said he changed his mind....He walked out...That hurt me...So I called and asked him why...He said it was because my pics do not look like me....But I just took those pics.. Was he just being mean??? Was he doing it to make himself feel good???? Because what I do for work lets men think they can do this to me and I would not care???? In all my pics you can tell I am curvy....I am in my 30's, with 2 children...I think I look very good...I am not fat... I workout alot..My tummy is flat as can be...

I am sorry to be upset but it hurt...I just don't understand why he did that....

Chay

Don't worry about it.  I know that it hurts, but realize that no one provider is going to make everyone happy.  I'm not a stick figure either.  I've had this happen to me once before too.  It turned out that the guy had done this to half a dozen other girls, probably so that he could have the image in his mind while he went home to rosy palm because he didn't have enough money to afford ladies of our calibur.  Also, another thing to consider is that there are some people out there that are so miserable that they have to make others miserable too.  Misery loves company.... A very sad place to be!!!

Jaclyn


-- Modified on 6/13/2003 6:13:44 PM

-- Modified on 6/13/2003 6:14:13 PM

-- Modified on 6/14/2003 2:21:18 PM

Thank You!!!...In my reviews it say I am curvy...It is hard enough to be in this line of work as is....I love my work...It is a art to me...I feel like I am in it at the right time of my life, because most men can't keep up with me. Now that I am hitting my very high sex drive age...Smile
I have fun with my guys...
But buttheads like this can make a good day bad....
Chay

Hey Darling do not let this jerk bring you down. It is obvious to me that he is blind and dumb. You are HOT HOT HOT some guys are fools!!!!! Kisses

In looking at your reviews, you've received a number of 9s and the rest 8s (props to you, btw).  Maybe he has a different definition of 'model material,' part of the oft-discussed problem with the rating system.  However, while I do think you take advantage of some 'strategic posing' in your photos, his behavior was reprehensible.  Don't let it get you down.

I am going to ask this what do you mean about "strategic posing"????

Chay

Don't know if it helps, but I just peeked at your pics for the first time, and if I were local I'd run right over to cheer you up. If that's really you, the guy is just warped, blind, or both.

Having said that, I think it is true that most hobbyists see providers because there's something wrong with their sex life, and that something wrong could easily be something VERY wrong.

My guess is you're lucky he left when he did!  Maybe I'll be lucky enough to contribute to the non-jerk part of your personal jerk/non-jerk encounter ratio someday

Please forgive the little man who was rude to you.  I looked at your site and liked the way you look.  Next time have the guy undress with you and take a picture.  Post it and we will decide who looks better.  My money is on you.  Providers are the sweetest, most loving and giving people I have ever met.  Thank you for what you do.  You women deserve our gratitude.

If you look like the photos then I have no idea what the hell he was thinking or wants because you are hot!

Chay,

Don’t let one dissenting opinion (his) ruin your day!  I took a quick look, and even accounting for his view, your “average” slips al the way to “Really Hot++++”.  In other words, most people really seem to like what they find when they meet you.  Realize that he was almost certainly going to do that regardless of what you looked like.  He was either out for a juvenile rush or out to embarrass someone (not you personally).  Either way HE has the problem.

If your description and pictures are honest, you’ve done your part.  He’s either blind, deluding himself, of intentionally out to emotionally hurt people he doesn’t even know.  Don’t let him ruin your day.  He isn’t even worth your time to think about him.  And if you do, just pity him; he’s probably got a lot of other problems as well.


-- Modified on 6/13/2003 8:11:24 PM

That's Latin for "Don't let the bastards grind you down"  I would have subbed the word "asshole" for "bastard" but didn't know the Latin!

He was just a jerk.  I wouldn't even dignify what he did with any explanation.  I'm sure that his act of rude perversion (yeah, perversion!) probably saved you from an hour or 2 of pure Hell.

Just go on and be the great provider that your reviews indicate you are and rack this up to an experience with a walking talking anus.

F.

-- Modified on 6/13/2003 7:57:39 PM

I've looked at your website and I agree with all the other posters.  Gorgeous!  But the fact is that once in a while something like this is going to happen.  Just like any other entertainer, you'll get some bad reviews and some folks will walk out on your show.

The point is, you can't take it to heart every time it happens.  You need to put a little distance (or if you prefer, make a distinction) between your professional self and your inner self.  And it is possible to do this without becoming totally calloused and insensitive.

Thank You...LOL take a pic of them....

Chay

I am sitting on my biggest part my butt...I have a bubble butt...Most men say it is fine......But my pics are of me...

Chay

We often criticize the guys for not thinking with the big head when they find the provider is not who they were expecting. While I do agree her pictures look great, he saw her, and he didn't think what he saw matches with the pictures, so he left.

Isn't that what we have been telling guys to do? If you don't like what you see, get up and leave. Do not think with the little head. Do not put yourself through a session where you (or maybe both of you) might be miserable.

Now we are attacking the guy? Come on! Can we be more hypocritical?

-- Modified on 6/13/2003 10:12:25 PM

It's unfortunate but they are out there.  In hordes.  You are an extremely attractive woman.   Try to move on.  This guy, on top of everthing, stiffed you on payment...and you rent him space in your head?  I would like to know how I could get this free rent

Have you read your own reviews?  I think you are A-OK.

-Hoot.





-- Modified on 6/13/2003 8:49:38 PM

Chay,
Darlin, Some men are Pigs.
Sorry - but they are.  Wish it would have been me, then you would have been posting a note asking why you can't get this guy to leave.
Some women are curvier than others, some taller, etc.  I think each woman is her own work of art.  Its just some men are so one-dimensional they can't see but one form of art, and they end up being hurtful.
You get that pretty red head to DC and I for one will try to make you forget all about him!

Hi Chay,
The guy is obviously out to make himself feel important by hurting other people. The only way he wins though, is if you let him ruin your day. You have control of your attitude, not him. Remember the line from Heartbreak Ridge; "Never give the prick the satisfaction."

I can understand how much it hurt, trust me ... I get more than my share of OMG looks when I'm out and about. I'm 5'8" and weigh 400lbs ... you on the other hand ... are most certainly not at all overweight. The bikini shots at home and out at the pool are great, and I think better than the professional shots. If you can look that good at home in a bikini, then honey you stand back up and walk proud. I'm sure there are thousands of women out there who would gladly trade their two kid bodies in for yours.

As for the guy who said something about strategic posing, whatever dude. First, any professional photographer and or model knows how to position themselves to get the most curves, not so much to try and hide something. Chay is a certified hottie, whether she is your type or not. You can't argue with the fact that she is damn fine.

The only thing wrong with Chay's body is it's not here in central Florida (Orlando or Tampa) for me to explore and remind her of the lovely woman she is, inside and out. Chay if you're ever this way, let me know.

Jimbomania

Being a hypocrite is every Americans' God given right

Still, good point. She'd leave if she didn't like what she saw, or at least I'm sure some providers are that way. But the guy could have used some manners or tact, and politely said, "Thanks, but no thanks."

Then she would be free of the hurtfulness, and he would be free to stop and buy himself some lube and a hand towel.

Jimbomania

There is a way to do it and a way not to...(He could of said I don't think this will work)....I should of none he was going to be this way just by his phone call but I was going to be nice.. He said on the phone when I cleared him..."I don't want to drive way over there and you want see me" So that lets me think he done this before or a girl done this to him because he was a jerk to them...
He seen my pics and read my reviews...I look like my pics and my reviews say how I really am....I have more review in other places to and all of them are great.....even the ones in the brothels have all been good....

Chay

As Asiankid indicated we have recently discussed similar issues at length on both major boards. The consensus always seems to be that instead of going through with the date the gentleman should leave rather than post a review of an experience that he KNEW would be bad because his visual expectations were not met. Time after time the ladies  in those threads asked "why didn't he just leave if he didn't like me?"  Now I was not at this party so my guess is that he did it without tact or courteosy.  And for that he is guilty. But all we have to go on is: "...Then he said he changed his mind....He walked out...That hurt me...So I called and asked him why...He said it was because my pics do not look like me..."  that is a statement of opinion but it is not very specific. Did he actually say he thought you were heavier than the photos indicated?  The black and white photo is awesome. But to me that pose doesn't show your true build as well as the color photos on that same page. The intro page with the draped pose doesn't give me the best idea of your physique.  
The problem with websites is that we never really know what someone looks like.  The photos are never at a high enough resolution (because everyone wants quick loading times). So I really couldn't tell what your face really looks like. Was that his complaint?  
Perhaps his method was inappropriate but I'm not sure the act of leaving is necessarily wrong.  Judging from personal experience, anecdotal evidence, and reading the reviews on these boards I'd say only half of the providers look like the pictures we think we see on their websites.  We want you all to be beautiful and flawless; popular culture has conditioned us to believe what the naked eye cannot contradict and when we really can't tell because of creative posing, B&W photography, the lack of any closeups, and the 72dpi resolution whereby acne scars and cellulite magically disappear, we let our eyes tell us what we WANT them to.

Consumers normally want to know what they're buying. Even the mainstream parts of the entertainment industry have changed the interaction with customers.  You can listen to albums before you buy them, you can test out games at the store or with the promo discs they send you. But this portion of the entertainment industry doesn't even like to send photos to potential customers.  The ladies want me to make an informed decision based on inflated and often suspect reviews and low-res web photos which may be several years old. While NV brothels aren't the most romantic adventure atleast its all upfront.

I'm sorry you're feelings were hurt. But I can say that there have been times where I wish I had the fortitude to just leave. I would have been pleasant and I would have tried to be considerate of her troubles (within reason) but just as we remember the amazing dates we all remember the ones we'd like to forget.  
How does the old saying go - one disgruntled customer will tell EVERYONE he knows, a happy customer may forget to tell anyone.

.

-- Modified on 6/13/2003 9:35:42 PM

i guess someone had to play the "bad guy" ... kudos to AsianKid for at least thinking for himself (away from the "pack")  

CHAYLEE ... please understand that what i'm about to say does not pertain to you in particular. in fact, to (dis)qualify myself i haven't even looked at your webpage to make any kind of judgement (cuz it's all relative anyway, no?)

but surely you must be aware of the potential duplicity of intent that can lurk behind a post like yours (again, not saying you meant this or that, just the potential for it being viewed as such)

but with such a post you accomplish do two things:

1. publicly blast a guy (and by implication perhaps a majority of men) who for whatever reason backed out of a deal (perhaps doing you a favor by not subjecting you any further to his "warped" personality/attitude) ... and at that, a guy who most likely will not show up here to defend/explain his actions! so we're all left with one side of the story

2. inadvertently (?) get a whole lot of folks on the national board to look up your website and comment on your good looks (of that i have no doubt), thus generating much publicity and perhaps generating new business (if you're about to fly off the handle and tell me "i don't NEED new bizness, JERK!" ... fine, just remember this is all hypothetical  


again, i'm not saying this was your intent all along, but you must surely see that it can be perceived as such. now if a guy was to do something similar (by posting a complaint) he just may have been *reamed* eternal by the "pack" for being a scheming scum-bag out to get attention or whatever, no?


just one of the ever present "double-standards" in this little niche world of ours, where Hobbyists are from Mars and Providers are from Venus!   LOL

You are right but I wished he done it with more tact of way...
I have pics of me on the NV Brothel board....I never had this done to me before....I pride myself on having a good party ...I don't want a man to stay just because he feels like he has to....I don't need that but this guy I think had this in mind to hurt someone...

Chay

Well when I read the first post my initial reaction was to be angry at the guy but after reading this thread, the general concensus is to walk if you don't like what you see.  the only time I have ever bailed, the person clearly wasn't the one in the picture (wrong race).

So while I certainly wouldn't mind hopping in the pool with you and your friends, and I wish this guy had better manners, can't blame him for walking.  If he had stayed, he would have made you miserable.  He wouldn't have been able to perform and he would have been even worse to you.

I did not think of it that way....I just wanted to know has this happen to other people and why....What did I do wrong???

I am not hurting for more work....

Chay

that is one of the rudest things ive ever heard


sorry to hear u had to go thru that mama...


dude probably was broke and couldnt afford your sexy ass

who were "bothered by reviews" on the LA Board a few days ago.  I agree with you 100%.  According to the tyranny, the guy is always the a-hole.

Regards.

Men who want: flat ass, not tits, narrowed hips: go one way. Those who want: full breasts, shapely hips, curvey females, go another way.  

Lets face it: there are more women with the top of what I posted who are out there advertising on these different sites, than the other. I would love to see more of the natural non-anorexic look:  a woman looking like a woman: the bottom  half of what I posted.


-- Modified on 6/13/2003 10:45:05 PM

His loss!   I think you are heavenly, to be honest. I love a woman with some meat on her bones. I  like your body type, and  I love a "healthier look", as well.  Learn to love yourself, and you will find that what he did, was some one who had issues with himself, NOT YOU!!! If you are ever in Boston, let me know and lets meet for dinner, and I will introduce you to some of the finest men here, for there are men here who luv us shapely, curvey females...


Sincerely,

Mel



-- Modified on 6/14/2003 5:33:01 AM

You can't blame the client for walking away from a situation that made him uncomfortable. Yes, he may have been overly critical and probably missed a great time, but obviously he was looking for a certain look that was very important to him.

Yes, he could have been more much more tactful and told a white lie about why he left so your feelings would not have been hurt. I'd hate it if my appearance were ever criticized, that's for sure!

Last week I left a client after only 5 minutes into our meeting. He seemed tired and was overly sarcastic about everything. Usually I can cheer people up and have an upbeat time, but he was just so negative I knew I couldn't put on an Oscar performance that night. So, I told him things weren't working out and I left. (I didn't ask for any fee.) I think I did us both a favor because he sure wasn't in the mood.

I'm sure no one faults me for making the decision to leave when I felt uncomfortable with my client last week....maybe we should give the client the same slack.

...I would *not* have walked out, having had a look at your web site.  Quite the opposite, in fact. }:>

Some guys can be obsessive about certain features or physical qualities. I know I'm sensitive to weight.  I suspect that it was a case of you not being his type and, he being nervous about that, he just walked out. It's often counselled (and it's something I agree with) that, if the provider isn't not what the client expected, he should call it off. However, it sounds like he handled it poorly, which I'm sorry you went through.

Feel free to drop me a line if you're ever in Los Angeles again -- the last thing I'll do is walk out.

--b.

"We often criticize the guys for not thinking with the big head when they find the provider is not who they were expecting. While I do agree her pictures look great, he saw her, and he didn't think what he saw matches with the pictures, so he left."

Yes, and he was right to do so.  But he needn't have done it in so rude a manner.  Fair is fair: the client could have left a partial donation as a courtesy, sort of a "sorry it didn't work out" gift.  Since this is such a chancy hobby --for both provider and client-- it seems only fair to me.

--b.

He's a jerk, that's why.

If his reason for leaving was that he thought he was being deceived by someone not using their own photo (or using a true, but obviously old photo) in the ad, he should have said so and left as soon as you opened the door and he saw your face.  

Instead, he comes in, asks you to open your robe, and when you do, checks you out and says he changed his mind (NOT that you tricked him with your photo).  Then he left.  Sounds totally rude to me.

Maybe your photos raised his expectations too high.  Maybe he got cold feet.  Maybe he's a freak who likes to show up, see your body, then go home and jack off.  Who cares?  It was still rude.

I'm sorry he hurt your feelings.  Any kind of rejection sucks.  Still, it comes with the territory.  Just shrug it off.  Every day, hobbyists and providers are rejected or treated strangely by their counterparts, sometimes for no apparent reason.  Go figure.  Just don't let it get you down.  The next client was probably a nice guy, right?

Peace.

I did not want anything from him not even a lie....I just wish he would of said something instead of "I changed my mind"
I work the Ranches a long time and never been done this before...I have reviews there an everyone of them have been great...Looks are great but what makes a meeting the best is the whole person....
Chay

Loved your post, Pimp! Awesome..
You know, when I posted my first response, which I think WAS the first response, I just 'reacted' to her pain. I never even looked at her website - just responded - woman to woman and thought about some things I wanted to share privately..ya know..like sisters.
I LOVE the responses - they are so great! And some of them hilarious, too! And, of course, by then, I finally checked out the website. HOLYSHITBATMAN! Ok..drop dead gorgeous, hon.
You just plain scared him, is all..! You were BETTER than he thought, and suddenly, he wasn't sure about HIMSELF! I revise my post! No worries..
And, aren't these guys great - I mean, look at the response.
Makes me just wanna grab all their little cheeks Billy Crystal style and tell them how simply MAH-velous they are! MMMMMM..

love ya,
Sedona

Personally I would not have walked out like that. If I felt like I was mislead by the information provided to me, I would have made an excuse, and given her a token gift and apologize for the misunderstanding.  I truly do appreciate what most of you ladies go through to provide us this fantastic service.

However, I noticed that your website is shared on heatherlockhart.com, where it is very difficult to identify which page belongs to which lady.  For somebody quickly browsing through, it may not be apparent that there are several ladies on the website and the main information actually belongs to Heather.  I could clearly see where he may have even thought you were a blonde.  For example, it took me a few minutes to realize that the bio page, which stated that the marital status was "single, no kids" applied to Heather, not you.

Having said all this, I still feel that there is a right way and a wrong way to communicate certain things.  It obviously shows that he has no class when he asks you to disrobe and then say, "nope, not my type" and walk out.  People like them need to be ignored and hopefully someday taught a lesson in manners.  Fortunately, all men are not jerks like him!

Why do you think it’s ok for you to refer to us slim women as stick figures, flat ass and no tits? If I were to you refer to as anything other than curvy and/or a BBW you would rip me a new ass-hole.

Also, I agree with AK. The client used his big head and did the right thing in leaving but he could have been  a little nicer about it.

They don't...But like AA you will arise above it all....

Chay

I am going o take more pics but that is not far......To do this
Chay

Let me get this said ...I link the reviews to all my pages ...That say I am a redhead....How hard it is it to pick from that

Chay

I did get lost a little on the website, and I thought I was paying attention.  (she's 24?, I thought she said that her son is graduating HS, and on TER it says she is in her 30's).

I finally figured out the step down for "Friends" and the still missed the step down for YOUR photos.  (I clicked on Heather's sidebar "gallery" link, thinking it would change to your photos.  She should give you all your OWN page, without her links on it.  Perhaps he got lost?  
 
I think you are very beautiful, and he shows the lowest class.

I hope your next client can make you forget all about him, with multiple O's.  

-SillyRabbit

..  99 men can tell a lady how beautiful she is, the 1 out of a hundred that makes a negative comment about her looks is the one that upsets her and the one she is concerned about!

before I get flamed; no it wasn't a very tactful comment to make, obviously the guy is a jerk.  If it was an outright deception then a guy would have a right to be pissed, but this guy just wanted a free look!  So forget about it, it's the downside to the business girl.  (oh, and it's not a good idea to call back a guy that's done something like this, you're just asking for more harrassment from him later..)

 You mentioned you're in your 30's; I would think a 30 something would be at a point in life to deal with situations like this, but you're sooo upset, like how could this happen to me, I'm so sexy.  Well, yes you are, but this guy had some other motive for what he did, so forget about it or call Dr. Laura if ya really wanna be made to feel bad about what happend!

.. beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but THAT guy musta been blind!!

..you have to put up with inconsiderate jerks like this. Too bad for him because any experienced Hobbyist would have realized that he was about to have a great time with a hot lady.

The past is the past, you can't change it - only learn from it.

Just think of all the smiles you put on the face of the other guys!!

You are right. I apologize like a true gentleman.

Madness.

"I am not a thin girl...I am a woman...with a woman's body...I am build like Raquel Welch or Marilyn Monroe...

I had a guy come to my room today...He wanted me to open my robe. So I did....then VonRyan whispered softly into my ear how gorgeous I was. We kissed each other passionately knowing that we both wanted more...to explore each other's body like long lost lovers. VonRyan then led me to the bed.....

Now that's more like it Chay!All I can say is you are my kind of woman. When you visit the big apple we'll have to play out this romantic tale. I'm getting excited just thinking about the possibilities. Hurry!

So this begs the obvious question...what SHOULD he have said?

To me, "I changed my mind" is admittedly abrupt, but is also pretty antiseptic. Would it have been better had he given you the REASON he changed his mind by critquing your figure?

Me thinks that what happened to you is one of the risks of the business, and should be expected. Someone mention a seperation of the personal and professional self. I always assume that is the case for ASPs...else there is bound to be emotional trama.

That’s certainly a fair argument, but there seems to be a bit of a difference.  The personality and tiredness of a client can’t be determined in advance (most of the time), so you made your decision essentially at the first opportunity.

I’m taking Chaylee’s comments on face value here, and there was no indication that the client’s decision in this case was based upon anything except looks.  If so, and if the pictures were accurate, recent, etc., then he had a clear opportunity to make his choice long before he did.  I can only interpret this as (1) he had made his mind up in advance and therefore his insulting behavior was planned, or (2) he saw the pictures and still deluded himself that she was something different than her photos.

Either way I think it’s different than the situation you mentioned.

don't let the ass wear you down

it's pidjin latin at best but you get the idea

the fellow who walked out was obviously a "homo stultus"
for not whispering in your ear "da mihi osculum infans"

--Marty

To interject a note of reality into this pity party, Chay claims to weigh 135 and this is about 5 pounds heavier than the average for her height.  The average of her performance rating is 7.7, which is okay, but not outstanding.  Her fee is $300, which is on the high end for a 30's something woman with average reviews.  She is a very professional provider with extensive time in a high volume Nevada brothel.  Her site is unusual and confusing.  It is very easy to look at another girl's photo and bio on the site and think that you are looking at Chay's.  The main photo carefully hides her waist.  The photos in the gallery are at least 5 to 10 years out of date.  The customer did not insult her, her just said he changed his mind.  She then pursued the matter and called him up to demand an explanation, when she got it, Chay was still distressed enough to put up her whining post.

The providers think that the customer was; broke, a miserable man, was not nice, a jerk and a fool.

The white knights were even more savage and thought the man was rude, reprehensible, looking for a juvenile rush, was blind, wanted to embarrass someone, was deluding himself, had a lot of problems, a jerk, engaged in an act of rude perversion, stiffed her on payment, is a pig, was broke, has no class, and her loveliness scared him.  

In all likelihood the guy got confused on Chay's site and thought he was booking the other girl, Locklear, who is blonde, 24 years old and who has had no kids.  When he took his first look at Chay, he made sure by asking to see the merchandise.  Then he left without a comment.  This was nice of him, as he then felt that he had been baited and switched.  There is nothing wrong with this guy at all.  It is not required by any etiquette to give a bait & switcher a dime or even be civil to them.  Bait & switchers are scum and thieves.  There is no requirement to worry about the feelings of a bait and switcher who is trying to beat you out of $300.  If Chay does not want this to happen to her again, she might invest in her own site.  They don't cost all that much and it will save her a good deal of grief in the future.

Being a guy that has been turned down more than once, I have learned to deal with the fact that I am not everyone wants to deal with me. I have been turned down more often than I want to count. You on the other hand have experienced a first. Unfortunately as you get older it will happen more often. There will even come a day when you get turned down while giving it away for free. Now that will be a sad day.

Let me tell you something ...He booked me from my ad off eros...There or pics of me on that so he knew who he was booking...And another thing I took those pics in Oct. 2002...My pics are up to date...For my height and my weight is just right I asked the Doctor that when I was clearing at the ranch...my link to mysite goes right to my pages...So how can he get confused????
bait and switcher...if you think that of me go to hell...I take my job like art not just for the money....I love what I do and I do not need to play games to make my money....

Chay

I have done a 3 TV shows one of them for PlayBoy...I did a lay out for Sheris Ranch for there menu.....In the last year I have been in several magazines...You are telling me my pics are old and I am over weight....Get a life...These  people would not hire me if I was
You got it wrong about my prices....that price you are saying is for Detroit....

Chay

and going back several times to look at Chay's site

I have to agree with ironman on this one...

Chay you are a beautiful woman but your site is poorly designed and confusing even for those of us who have spent over a decade on the internet!

I have concluded the guy was confused by this and thought he was being B&S'd or worse and did the right thing and left.

I initially had contempt for this guy but after doing some more research I think most in this thread would concur.

Sorry it had to happen to you Chay.  I suggest you get your own site or failing that a respected well designed escort mall.
The best site for this with the most respect in So Cal is South Coast VIP.

Mistakes happen, it's how we learn and grow.

Best of luck to you.

--Marty

I think Ironman hit the nail on the head.Change your website and Ill bet that wont happen again. I too was confused and was thinking of the blonde while reading this thread. It took me a while till I realised I was carrying the wrong picture in my head.We guys are very visual,the words are often lost in the throws of fantasy. So looks to me like an honest mistake is to blame,not you.    Dont you feel much better?  

You can't be serious? Where are you getting your "averages"? The girls working the catwalk in Milan? I read the "average" woman in America is 5'4" and weighs around 145. If you use the simple formula I've always learned for woman of medium build, it's 5'0" at 100 lbs and 5 lbs per inch after that. With that calculation, a woman of 5'9" with a medium build should weigh 145. For small framed women (like Asian woman) they will weigh less. For large framed women, they will weigh more.

Why don't you take a look at a height/weight/BMI table for women. You will see she is on the low end for her weight. Now, whether or not she reports her age and weight accurately is another story, most women fudge 5-10 pounds (and years) in the downward direction.

http://www.consumer.gov/weightloss/bmi.htm



-- Modified on 6/14/2003 11:42:22 AM

I imagine it was more than a simple "I've chenged my mind." Remember, he asked her to open her robe first. While it's honest --brutally so-- it's also a rather "meat market" thing to do. Perhaps I'm projecting my own beliefs here, but I can imagine Chay feeling a bit degraded by it. Only she can really answer to that, but I do think it was insulting on his part.

As to what he should have said, well, I'm sure there was a more diplomatic way of putting it.  And I maintain he should have left a portion of the donation for her time, having made then broken an appointment. This wasn't a case of rip-off or bait-and-switch. He simply changed his mind.

--b.

He was just pointing something out to you. You sound like you're getting upset. And, women never change their hair color?

[Where are you getting your "averages"? The girls working the catwalk in Milan?]

For the purpose of comparing against what is considered attractive, the weight averages for models are appropriate.

[I read the "average" woman in America is 5'4" and weighs around 145.]

And we all know that Americans are overweight by about 15 lbs. as a national average. Besides, the average for what is considered healthy and what is considered attractive are two different things.

***I imagine it was more than a simple "I've chenged my mind."

We don't know that. That is what she posted. If he did say something else, I am curious what it was.

***"Remember, he asked her to open her robe first. "

So? What are you inferring here? He asked her to open her robe, she did, her saw her, and said "I've changed my mind". At least that is what we've been told took place.

***"As to what he should have said, well, I'm sure there was a more diplomatic way of putting it."

That is what I am looking to find out. What is it she would have prefered he said.

***"...but I can imagine Chay feeling a bit degraded by it."

See...THAT is the crux of the problem. It isn't what he said...it was that she wasn't expecting to hear it. THe real truth more than likely is she was pissed by the rejection...not because he said anything offensive, because "I've changed my mind" isn't offense no matter HOW you spin it...what was offensive (more than likely) is the notion WHY he chaged his mind...that someone who considers themselve attractive enough to make a living based on their looks was rejected.

I don't disagree regarding the token donation, though that does open the debate regarding how much is appropriate (He leaves $20, she thinks he should leave $100, an arguement starts...). I can understand WHY a guy wouldn't leave any tip for just that reason. I would leave one, but I can understand why a guy wouldn't.

I know lots of guys like to "save-a-hoe"  (that WAS hilarious...) on this board and rally to their defense no matter WHAT the issue is, but the REAL truth is that this guy didn't do anything wrong. He didn't do anything RIGHT...but he didn't do anything wrong. This is all about her hurt feelings...which I can sympathize with, but her hurt feelings don't make HIM a jerk for deciding to take a pass opon further review...

And the lengths they go to to stay that way are not reasonable, healthy or attainable for most women. If that's your personal standard for women, fine. It's quite a high standard as only a tiny fraction of 1% of the female population would be able to model high fashion.

As for your distinction between "healthy" and "attractive", I found it sad. What are you saying? That someone who isn't clinically underweight like a fashion model cannot be attractive? If so, thankfully, your opinion is in the minority.

Not that this ever happened to me (not yet at least!), but I have heard horror stories of snotty, head up their ass providers who rate an 8-10 on the looks scale but rate in the minuses in attitude that once they take a good look at the client, they are like, "I'm sorry, but I don't want to go through with this".

There are providers who want their clients to look just like what they see on TV, movies or in porn flicks.  Problem is, such clients, while they exist, are few and far between.  The harsh fact is that most people, men and women alike, will always have at least one thing that would disqualify them from the "movie-TV-porn flicks looks" department.

I'm sorry about your experience, but for every one client who changes his mind and leaves, you will have at least ten providers who will do the same, exact thing to clients.

The place I took my numbers is from the average weight of girls that are advertising in the Miami area for that height.  Apples & apples.  The federal numbers for porky middle aged American females against providers is not a fair comparison.

When you are in the business of selling your appearance, then you have to be above average in looks & Chay is slightly on the high end for her weight.  This is not terrible, unattractive or ugly.  Just a bit plump.  So what?  My point is that Chay is not an ideal or #10 woman in her looks.  So what?  She is perfectly fine and I'm sure she has many customers that like her just the way she is.  So, she has some that don't like her looks.  Fine, so what?  Chay needs to get a grip on this concept.  As she continues to age, this will be happening to her more frequently.  By adjusting her fee and concentrating on giving good dates, she can continue to work for many more years, with a good time had by all.

A tad touchy aren't you?

I made my comments based upon the site you linked your initial post to.  If you don't like the conclusions that I reached from looking at your confusing site, then you should know who to blame, and it is not me.

I notice that you do not deny that the photos on your site are old, just that some other photos somewhere else are not.

I did not state that you were bait & switching the guy.  I merely said that he thought that you had.  If you are going to get sloppy with your advertising, then you are going to have problems.

You might consider that you should stop obsessing over this rejection, deal with the underlying problem, and move on.  It is not like the guy actually did anything to you.  He just declined to do business and left.  THIS IS HIS RIGHT!!  He is the customer, you are the provider.  You failed to make the sale.  This happens everyday to everybody in sales.  Customers frequently decide not to take the best deal for reasons that make no sense to the seller.  Get over your fit of peevishness and learn from the experience.

my pics were taken with in the last year...If that is old to you...your are nuts...

Chay

First of all: newsflash! In this society with attitudes like yours it is the standard for women in the entertainment business to shave 5-10 years of their age AND weight: models, actresses, and yes, providers.

The federal height/weight charts are not based on "porky, American women" they are based on what medical professionals and insurance companies have decided is healthy and reasonable for women *everywhere* and specifically calculated to provide for differences in frame size/age, etc.

I don't have a problem with your assessment of Chay. In fact, I think she's overreacting to this situation and this thread big time. I do not agree that 5'9" and 135 lbs is on the "high end" for a woman's weight, in fact it is on the low/normal end for ANY woman.

...if you were aware that this would be a partial list of women who's pubicly listed weight would be greater than what Chay claims...

Marion Jones
Laila Ali
Gabrielle Reece
Serena Williams

I wouldn't call any of them fat. In fact **I'D** say Serena Williams might have the PERFECT body...

Of course, these women are all athletes, who probably don't give a rats ass what anyone thinks about their weight. Why is this relevant? Well...

"The place I took my numbers is from the average weight of girls that are advertising in the Miami area for that height."

...another woman who I think has a close to perfect body is Jennifer Lopez. She publicly lists HER weight as 121 lbs. Now, personally, I WORSHIP Jennifer Lopez, and I don't care WHAT she weighs, but it AIN'T 121 lbs....

What chance do you think those Miami area escorts you reserched are lying about their weight as well?

The point is, if you judging "plumpness" by a number, you will miss the mark. Based on the pics I saw of Chay, she is ANYTHING but plump. She even includes a shot of her stomach in a bikini (at least what I thought was her...much has been said already about the site being confusing). She isn't a hard body (Marion Jones...at 150+ lbs...is a HARDBODY)...but Chay isn't plump.

I'm not defending her...I think she way overreacted...just pointing out that your analysis if based purely on posted / advertised weight for escorts, is terribly flawed...

He did it because he was an a@@hole....nothing more complicated than that. His boorish action can hurt you only if you allow it to. So don't. I know, easier said than done. You look great to me! I assure you I would not walk away

Hey Chay... Ch-ay-ill out!
your last couple of messages have been pretty testy on your part
even though the compliments are far outweighing the negative responses. You must be a woman...LOL...I really thought my last post would put you in a different and better mood. How bout it?
Time to take the upper ground.

Just a point of order. I'm a discerning TER member and take my contributions and reacommendations seriously. I also make it a point not to White Knight for ladies I see. I figure it's their perogative to stand up as adults and make their way here in cyber-land as adults and speak for themselves.
I am Chay's customer. I've known her from her brothel days in Nevada. Only in the last 5-6 months has she really broken away from the cloistered existence of the legal brothels of Nevada to chart her way as an independant escort. The simple facts about her photo shoot: she hired a very competent photographer in her hometown who has done photo shoots for Playboy. Chay is also damn photogenic. It's a fact. Her photographer is an artist and when you get a great model and an image capture artist together, you get great results.

Chay met HeatherLockheart and Heather put up a web pgae for Chay on her web site to help promote her. Reading the link atop Chay's web page and seeing Heather's URL does make for confusion. I believe Chay understands that point. Guys are very scrutinizing when they use the Internet. Hell, I know I am. Look to see Chay get her own domain and set up a website of her own. She's learning about the Internet everyday and everyway. She loves it and is a geekette from the web surfer standpoint.

Chay is 5'9" of grown woman. She is not a waifish girl. She's not a perfect hardbody either. She's a hell of a woman. I believe the feedback and responses of this thread show a lot. I know when the smoke clears, Chay will learn a lot about how this community reacts and views things.It's a hell of a turnaround from the legal brothel system of Nevada. She's learning...but in the meantime, her reviews since she moved into the escort arena speak for themselvs. Her professioanl photo portfolio is slick and awesome. As she got more of the proofs from that shoot she shared them with me. It's eye candy for sure. I think Chay's photogenic talent and her photographer made magic. Chay isn't as perfect as her images portrayed. The camera can't capture the personality, soul or passion that I have experienced with this woman. Chay isn't perfection. She's a curvy 30 something lady with awesome skills, attitude and service ethic. That's my spin. My review of her completes my thoughts about her.

Which pictures were taken this year?  The main one or the ones in the gallery?

I have no argument with your opinion of the proper weights for adult women.  As part of my business I maintain a database of the South Florida providers.  I just sorted on the height and averaged the weights reported.

Of course they shade their weights, but since they all do it, the proportions still work.

I am over it now...I just don't like people on here saying my pics must be old....I took them in Oct or Nov...They are not old...
But Thank You....

Chay

The one of me in the white top and the one with the sunglasses on were done at Sheri's Last Summer these are in the Gallery......The main ones were done this year around Oct.. or ..Nov..

Chay

Thank You....I am not worried about it anymore...Because I am doing good...So I must be doing something right...

Chay

I am going to be getting a website...I had know idea the one I was sharing with my friend would do....But I guess not...

Chay

Thank You...

this thread is soooo long, but i'm depressed. freshly back from a disappointing waste of $$$$ because when i saw the provider was the girl in the photos, but the photos neglected to depict the acne-scarred face or the flabby butt or protruding belly, but she smiled so sweet and i'd driven so far and it was getting so late and so i stayed and she tried really really hard and was so very nice and we even had a pretty good time and i was leaving pretty contentedlly when she said "please don't make me a 7 on TER" !!!! And i replied, "7? 7 means attractive -- what's wrong with a 7?" and she said "i want to be hot, make me an 8!" so now what the hell. i just don't post a review? because if i say "i should've left when i saw her, but..." i'll get railed out for taking it out on her with a review, but if i'd have said, "sorry you're not what i'm looking for" and she said "why not? what's wrong with me?" and then i'd end up like the pb getting railed at here (although i would've been a bit nicer than this guy, but how do you "nicely" say to a woman who sells her body for a living that you think she's not worth it? i'm not about to barter with her saying, "you know, now that i've seen you i figure you're actually worth about 200, maybe 250, so you want that much? or should i leave? wouldn't that be TOTALLY worse?)...sometimes you just can't win. so...do i post the truth? suffer the slings and arrows? and i wonder if all those other "8" ratings were obtained because this hot and willing mynx begged these guys to translate a 9 performance rating -- i mean the girl loves sex -- into a higher 'looks' rating. they're 2 different things. some guys calculate performance as 85% of the equation. some put looks alone almost that high, tolerating any shitty attitude just to nail a true model....but the ratings need to be true. not sentimental bullshit because we don't want to hurt a girl's feelings. that just leads to someone else --or several disappointed someone-elses hurting her feelings even worse. you can't expect a provider to put an unflattering photo up, screaming, hey look at my saggy butt but not my beautiful pink nipples! ain't gonna happen. you can't blame the photos. sometimes you just have to go see for yourself. and sometimes, by then, it seems like this catch-22 just makes it too late. ah, for the days when all you had to worry about was would you get busted...all these 'hearts of gold' in the business now...poliltically correct hooking can suck. oh, sorry, was that insulting? how ironic. how sad. how silly. so what to do when...sadly, sometimes, you just can't win...to write or not to write? slings and arrows or peace and quiet? trade the walk-on role in the war for a lead role in a cage? step up or sit down? anybody want to see the review?

End of Message

-- Modified on 6/16/2003 12:43:21 AM

have unrealistic expectations.  Maybe the business isn't for everyone.

I have to agree with everything you've said.  And as to whether or not to write a review...if it were me I damned sure would!!  I don't review all the ladies I see (for a variety of reasons), but if one were to tell me what the hell kind of score to give her..I damned sure would write one.  If I thought her looks were a 7 that would be the score she'd get...not a higher one because that's what she wanted.  And you know what else?  I might even put in the review that she'd asked for a high score.  Whether that mention might cause the review to be pulled, I have no idea..but I'd never mention such a thing if it weren't true--I'm not out to hurt anyone.  But that sort of crap is dishonest IMO.  If reviews aren't credible they aren't worth much & stuff like that diminishes credibility, the end result potentially affecting both guys AND the honest providers!

I just meant that at one time or another, most of us get turned down -- usually for the dumbest reasons.  I most certainly didn't mean that this Non-Gentleman turned you down because you do.  Sorry about that.

He was not a Gentleman.  There will be plenty of true Gentlemen calling you, and you shouldn't give this moron another thought!

It is behind me now....And Thank You....

Chay