Recently I saw a girl who, at my surprise, used her real first name as her hobby name.

Was wondering what you would figure the percentage is of girls who use their real first name in the hobby.

Also do you think it is a good or bad idea to ask what a girl's real first name is?? I only have done this once and it seems that no harm was done but I could see how it might not be a good idea.

I don't know how many girls actually use their real first names in this biz, but I would assume it's low since we're generally protective of that so our families, jobs, etc... don't find out it's us in the ads.

I personally chose a former neighbor's name. She's wild and fun and I couldn't think of anyone better to steal a name from.

Katie

Why do you need to know here real name?

Your neighbors' name is Katielady2006?

I would think that very few providers use their real first name (especially considering how many "Nikki's" are out there)!

I wouldn't ask, but be happy if she trusted me enough to volunteer it. This just recently happened to me in fact, and it made me feel great that she did.

I don't think it's a good idea to ask a lady what her real name is. That would be a pretty awkward situation.  If at some  point the lady wants to reveal her name, it has to be her choice to do so.

It's not a good idea to ask provider their real name.  We all want to stay discreet.  It's one of my pet peeves.

How can you be sure it was her real first name?

In any event, I think it is a bad idea to ask any personal contact information beyond what you need to know in order to book an appointment.

Generally speaking, I have found out a provider's real name after knowing her for a year or two, sometimes less though.

In one case a provider told me her "real" name, and I went on thinking it was her name for years until we took a plane trip together and she had to tell me her "real real" name later.  She was a bit embarrassed, but I didn't really care.

Of the providers I've known, I've know just three who used their real names.

In one case, it was their middle name, in another it was their first name and in one case, they used both their real first and last name.

When I asked her why, she said:  "Because it is my name."

It is my opinion that it is best to choose another name when starting in this business.  One does need to be discrete as using your real first name might triger someone to recognize you or your picture while surfing the internet.

AND how many of you guys use another name for when you are hobbying???  I have come across a number of them myself so I know you do.

And as far as asking her what her real name is ...no don't.

Remember this is all fantasy any way.  

Misty

I find it rude and consider it an invasion of my privacy. We (usually) have a work name for our own safety. If I wanted you to know my name, I would either use it instead of my work name or I would tell you on my own (which I have certainly done with clients I am VERY comfortable with).

though it doesn't seem like you need it at this point and are just being facetious?  Bottom line, you guys have options.  Noone will see you chin down on the web, see the name "Mike," recognize that curly hair and know that YOU are someone who visits providers.

I can't be sure how it happens, but I almost always know the provider's real name within the first couple of appointments.   Perhaps I don't bother coming back if there is no real connection, and once there is a connection I have no problem asking the provider her real name (or she ends up volunteering it).   I also know a lot of the last names of providers I see, but I have never actually asked for it.

-- Modified on 3/25/2008 5:28:45 PM

None of my business.

That being said, the majority of my providers have volunteered their real first name at some point.  Several- their first and last names, especially since some travel with me and plane tix etc are hard to do without.  However, I tend to see same ladies often and build trust.  

It really doesn't matter to me- it is the person I'm seeing not the name.  Interestingly, one who I have spent a good bit of time with I know everything about her- full name, address, etc from travel in the past but she prefers I call her by provider name- feels it keeps the boundary intact better.

I always respect the provider's wish and never pry!  Her comfort is a significant concern of mine!

Or Bill and Bob -

In my experience that is pretty unusual.  

Don't ask.  Why does it matter?  Seriously.  You're either pushing her to lie about it, or you are going to make her feel uncomfortable.  Very few providers disclose their real names to guys who are uncouth enough to ask for them.

~ N

Not a goods idea to ask a girl her real name; Use the name she wants to go buy. If down the road you establish a connection let her tell you.
Personally, I would not solicit her as to her real name..

If you have to ask, then she does not think it's important for you to know.  I don't ask.  If a provider wants to tell me, then she's welcome to do so.

As for a provider using her first name for work, I think some do it and it has privacy benefits.  Such a provider will never need to worry about being seen in the street and being called some fake name and confusing her family and friends.

If you happen to learn it, never tell anyone, never call her by it, don't write it, don't even say it out loud. Don't do any of this unless she tells you expressly, that you can.

Over-careful? You could never go wrong being too discreet. And in fact, it can remind you that the hobby is secret and illegal. When your posting about it on the boards, it's easy to forget that.

I would say that it perhaps goes for other hobbyists, but what can I say? I've already blown that one.

-- Modified on 3/25/2008 6:59:22 PM

I'm amazed at some of the things women will tell me about themselves.

I always believe that I can read people but often I'm wrong.

It takes only one time to be wrong for something to come back to haunt you.

I tell most women not tell me or anyone else specific things about themselves. But they come back with "well I trust you".

Women trusted Ted Bundy (spelling) too. (appearantly)

It's like the old chatroom thing. Every woman I've meet (Online) gives up way to much info and then...some guy shows up at her door.

I'm still amazed!

I hear the providers fears in their posts and in person and yet so many let their guard down just for that one moment.

I'm still amazed.

I had an interesting situation.  I tried to see one provider in my city.  The name she went by was more similar to a stripper's name than a real name, but whatever, I didn't care.  Later on, when I got an e-mail back from her (while scheduling an appointment), there was a completely different name in the "From:" field, with first and last name fully spelled out.  I don't know if they were real or not (her first and last name, not *those*), but if they were, it sure wasn't a smart move using a personal e-mail address.

When the appointment time came, she NCNS'ed on me, so this all ended up being a non-issue.  Oh well.

what difference does it make if its the one on my birth certificate or not ?

nobody calls me by my real name.. i never use it so what good would it be for anyone to know it ?

i tell you what to call me, if you want to call me something else, do like everyone else and make something up.

Stacy, which is the name on my profile, is in fact the same name my Momma gave me.

I would be horrified if I were out with a family member or a friend and some guy walked up to me and said "Hey Sheila" or whatever name I chose to use. Everyone knows the rule of thumb that you don't approach a provider in public, but as this board has demonstrated many times in the past, not all guys are that bright. This way at least they call me by my name, and I at least have the chance to stutter out some lame lie about how I know the guy - before I haul him behind a closed door and do unspeakable things to him for his indiscretion

Does a guy not have to give his real name during that process?

I know one provider's real name...I learned it after about the 7th or 8th appointment...and it screwed me up because after all that time of thinking of her as 'Mary' now I have to think of her as 'Jane'.   Even now, eight months later, I still think sometimes mix them up in my head.

Sort of like finding out someone you know isn't who they said they were....oh wait....

I was questioning the ability for someone not to give their real name and still expect to be screened by her.

For the record, they both volunteered.  I would never ask.  I consider it rude (as I am sure they do) and would never intrude.

I really didn't need to know. It was just passing conversation afterwards. Actually I believe that I recall asking her how she chose her fake name and then she offered to tell me it was her name.

The only reason I would be interested in knowing would be just the ability to call her by her real name if the urge ever came on during the act...

Did you check her I.D. or sneak a peak at her driver's license?  Maybe she just gave you a different name than her "stage" name.

Why do you care?  A name is just a name.  I call the provider whatever name she gives me or uses.  I want her to be comfortable.  Asking for an unnecessary familiarity might inject some discomfort.

Remember the scene from "Closer" when the guy keeps asking the Natalie Portman stripper character what her real name is?  She kept saying Jane, and he refused to belief her.  Turned out at the end of the movie, when you see her passport, her real name is Jane, though she had assumed a different name while she was in the U.K.

I would hope the ladies would be at least getting their clients real names in case they turn out to be axe murderers.

I don't require a full first and last name, If the guy has several reviews of gals and several references.
I will take a first name and a discription, along with the references.

We don't really care who you are.  It is about who you are NOT.

sexymadelineshaw

I never said that I don't screen.  I do.  I use references and guys use fake names.  

Also, just in general when guys are calling and their caller ID says Mike Smith and they say Hi, I am Fred and I saw your ad.  Big red flag.  Obviously using a fake name.  So yes you guys use them too.