Hmm, Interesting, however I will not be giving up the real thing any time soon

Perhaps it the difference in culture, but I can't image a grown man complaining to the entire world he's never been unable to get sex.

a warm mouth, soft skin, a caress, a glancing lick, hair trailing across your stomach as a woman slowly goes down?

I hope they're putting us on, but at least it's hygienic--altho I suppose they could make that not so. Yick.