I read the whole thread just today, and I want to share my story, maybe some of you already know. I used to travel to Europe several times a years between the late 80s and during the 90s until about 1998 mostly in Austria, Germany, Italy for vacation, and England. Obviously in many lonely evening at the hotel I would call escort service from some excellent agencies, mainly in England and Austria where I used to stay longer. I was always very happy with the girls sent by the agencies, being a regular client they wanted to keep me happy.  Only once in many years I had a problem in Austria,  and after the agency profusely apologized, they sent another girl.

That replacement girl was a girl I totally fall in love, and she did too. In fact, she became the only person I was seeing while traveling in Europe. She kept working for the agency when I was in the US, but she would only see me when I traveled over there. After the second meeting she told she didn't want any money and of course she never told the agency that she was seeing me privately.  So aside from seeing her during work time, we took several vacation together in Europe. It was hard for me coming back to California, and as many have said, it was hard to work,  hard to concentrate. I was single so I didn't have to hide anything from anybody.  She started to come here to visit and  she started to stay longer and longer with each visit,  so we got married in 1993, we had one daughter and we lived  a normal happy life for a while. We are no longer married as of mid 2000, nothing to do with her past profession,  unfortunately just the wear and tear of a marriage. I just want to add that she started a rewarding career here in the US while we were married, carrer she still have.  So to those who have any worries about marrying an ex-provider, go ahead and enjoy. I have to admit thought, the fact that her previous profession as a provider was in Europe, helped me psychologically at the time I asked her to marry me,  but again never during our marriage her past profession was ever an issue.   We still keep in touch weekly,  we have to,  we have a daughter and we are good friend.



-- Modified on 12/13/2002 8:12:19 PM

I never did like the question "Would you marry a provider".  It's too easy to spin the question back and say to a female "Would you ever marry a John?", i.e, what is so wrong with us (the Johns).

The situation reminds me of the old Groucho Marx joke, "I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member".

-Hoot.

Ooops. We are now hobbyists, not Johns, right?


-- Modified on 12/13/2002 9:15:03 PM

got developed and proceeded to the next level.

There are no guarantees in life.  Most of life’s journeys are delineated into chapters anyway.  Glad to know that this chapter of yours was a good one.

the husband will throw the job (or former job) back in her face.  And this after he has undoubtably said earlier that he was completely OK with it and had complete resepct for her.  No relationship can survive a lack of respect.

Glad to hear that there is at least one ex-client husband who was mature enough to have never done this.  But I would say you are very unusual, and the providers' fears over this are well-founded.  

Of course, this is all assuming that a provider who marries  a former client is truly in love with him.  People (both providers and non-providers) do sometimes marry people who they are not in love with, usually for financial reasons.  Just because a provider wants to marry you does not prove she loves you, guys.  And I'm sure you women are fully aware that just because a client (or non-client) wants to marry you does not prove he is a true love instead of a pimp wanna-be.  You just have to be able to see if the caring and respect are real, and stay away from people who have baggage that you can't handle

eom



-- Modified on 12/14/2002 1:53:17 PM

I really think these "screwy" feelings are normal. The only problem I have now, is that I think that it would be easier to fall in love again with another provider and viceversa, rather  than with someone who is not. Obviously when I think it thoroughly what happened to me was a one in a lifetime experience.

I have to add that many providers have real feelings for clients. Recently I had surgery on my heels by the achillis. I had postponed that for more than one year tried to deal with the pain. It was one widely reviewed providers who really "forced" me to finally see a doctor and get rid of the pain. The day of surgery all my friends were busy working, and this same provider without me asking offered me a ride to Saint John Hospital, waited there during surgery and took me back home the same day. And yet another provider who is also a Joga instructor, helped me for free with the rehab of my foot. I am still very greatful to these two women for showing that they cared for me.

-- Modified on 12/14/2002 1:49:56 PM

as some people define it, is a bad reason for marrying someone.  Of course, what I was talking about was someone who pretends to have more and stronger caring and respectful feelings than they actually have.

.

I believe that so many of these ladies are really quality people.  

I posted a response on the Los Angeles Boards about a Christmas present I got from one provider that touched my heart.  

Also, I have had social gestures from providers, with whom I didn't click in the bedroom, that clearly indicated willingness to be friendly and helpfull regardless of the fact that we would never date again.  To me it represents the ability to separate their business from their social graces. I find it somewhat similar to the Lincoln Dealer who remains my friend (we have lunch, drinks etc.) even though I made it clear that I would not be buying his product.

and full love is based on respect, caring, and communication.  

To love someone else, you must first love yourself, and believe yourself to be worthy of love.  A lot of the providers and clients on this board seem to have issues with believing themselves to be worthy of love, which are probably rooted in their relationships with their parents when they were children.  They need to work through those issues.

Five will get you ten that every married hobbyist had no
intention of ever seeing another woman when he was married.

So, given the romantic's view of "love," that means providers
should never be approached by a married man.  I wonder what
the single/married ratio is for hobbyists.

Do men and women view "love" the same?  I don't think so.
Romance: For men it's about sex, for women it's about "love"
(all those things that make a girl feel warm and fuzzy).
There's an old adage about dating and romance:
A man gives love for sex and a woman gives sex for love.

Look at the recent threads about guys being depressed after
spending time with their ATF...I suspect it's because guys
so easily confuse lust for love.

It's got little or nothing to do with parents but everything to
do with biological drive and hormones.

had their romantic notions dashed.  They become cynics as a defensive mechanism against further pain.  They are actually closet romantics.

What is best is to be neither cynic nor romantic, but instead to have a realistic and mature outlook on relationships.  That means basing relationships on respect, caring, and communication.  And yes, those relationships do happen.

The biological drive for sex is indeed huge.  Both sexes have a reproductive agenda, rooted in evolutionary imperatives.

The notion that the form that our relationships with the opposite sex take has little or nothing to do with our parents is self-deluding.  Better to acknowledge that your relationship with your mother when you were a child has had a powerful effect on your relationships with women.  Use this to gain self-knowledge, to resolve issues, and to make your life better.

I agree. In my experience it is very rare for a man to see past a woman's profession in the sex industry and see her as a full woman. sigh*