This is not directed at anyone here in particular, as I am not an active poster, or reviewer for that matter. I am simply amazed, though, at the amount of anger and backbiting that goes on in these discussions on a daily basis. I decided to throw my two cents in to see if anyone agrees with me, mainly out of curiosity. I myself am a sex addict, self identified, as is usually the case, but confirmed and supported by professionals. I've been in recovery for around 4 months now. Obviously, the fact that I still come here to read often, and cruise ads, shows that I'm not incredibly successful in my recovery, but I'm comfortable with that. I claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
I just wonder, with all of the negativity that goes on here, how many people are actually happy? I've always come to this site for information and some sense of community, learning from and identifying with people whom I feel are similar to me. I would expect that if anything, it would be the women who would be the most problematic in terms of anger, for a number of reasons. I know this is certainly not always true, and there's be no way to even suggest a percentage with any accuracy, but I would think that providers would be crabby due to having to sleep with some less than appealing gentleman to make their rent on a monthly basis. Yet typically the ladies are the most level headed contributors. Its always the mongers who are arguing about how they have such great relationships with providers who think the world of them, and they don't really need to pay, because "civvies" are always available for them anyway. Telling stories in reviews about how I made her come four times, and could have done more just seems a little suspicious to me. (Hopefully someone won't bother with the obvious quip that I must not be able to satisfy a woman.) No one really cares besides you how amazing you are in bed, just if she is. Does the esteem you draw from people thinking you're a Casanova.....who, pays for sex multiple times  a month really give you that special contented feeling? I suspect maybe not.
I've found that seeing escorts really doesn't make me happy. I probably do it most when i have  gotten a little lonely and need a pick me up. I do enjoy it when I can connect a little with a lady, and see that she is actually comfortable and trusts me, but at some point I feel a little empty after. Maybe its just me, and I am far from the norm here, but I don't know. If the mongers love this so much, and it makes them so satisfied, why is there a consistent need to brag about how much money they earn or how high their monthly sex budget is? I would suggest to some of the men on here, that if you feel that angry and confrontational towards another screen name, maybe this hobby isn't making you as happy as you pretend it is? I am not incredibly well paid or wealthy, but I know that if I was, I wouldn't feel the need to posture and flash about it all the time, because I'd be rich and wouldn't really give a shit who knew it or didn't. Why would some asshats failure to worship me make any difference in my day?
Anyway, this is more or less a rambling thought vomit. I guess the real question is, does this make you happpy? And if not, maybe keep looking for things that do, and don't focus so much on everybody else's baggage. Life is too fucking short. Smile

I do try to add levity to my posts, but not at anothers expense.... Thanks for this post bro.

What is the use of your blabber? This is a fuck board and keep in mind what appears to you as back stabbing and back biting may not be real. Most folks on here don’t know each other personally, some do, but some most don’t.

If seeing escorts doesn’t make you happy and you believe the board is full of back stabbers then, what are you doing participating even if is occasionally. Why don’t you jus lurk?

One word for you:  Paragraphs.

As far as your points:

1.  You need to read stuff in context.  The vast majority of people who get angry and upset on this board have cause in going there.  Look at the Zangari post about sugar babies.  The whole point of his post was to try to educate us that we, too, can get a lower rate simply by negotiating.  Now, in and of itself, that might be nothing more than a "gee, thanks Capt. Obvious" post.  But if you have been around for a while, you know that Zangari is a braggart about his conquests with sugar babies.  He is posting under a real TER handle yet has no reviews or whitelists to his name.  And when someone calls his out, he actually said he would have sex with the respondent's dead mother.

2.  Lots of us are quite happy.  But we show bursts of anger and outrage because we feel it is justified.  Sometimes we have a short fuse, but again, you aren't reading in context.  Yes, there are a few people who are entirely negative all the time, but that's the exception.  If you disagree, show me an example.

3.  The term "community" you use implies give and take.  It implies that someone is not only sucking you for information but is in fact also providing information.

4.  Having said that, the notion that one owes another member information and/or is obligated to share information is ludicrous.  The only obligation I have to get information here is to pay my TER membership.  And for some people, that appears to be too big of a sacrifice, so they come on the boards trying to get information for free.

5.  The ladies are not the most-level-headed contributors unless you are categorizing as only ladies and men.  Also, there are far more male contributors here than females, so are you taking a percentage, or are you just making some unscientific observation?

6.  There are all types on this board.  Some pay for sex because they are lonely, some pay because that's the only way they can get it, and some pay because it's convenient.

7.  Does this make me happy?  I dunno.  For me, it's convenient and something to do until I meet the right girl.  It's uncomplicated, and it's to the point.  Having said that, I have met some amazing women doing this.

I'm just not sure.

So, there's no big deal, all humankind is in the same boat on this one.

One thing is for sure, I have more than many objective reasons to be happy, and for that I am extremely grateful.

As for the disparity between angry off the wall posts between guys and gals, I think the bulk of the explanation comes down to the different reasons most guys and gals post on here.

For the guys, it's a form of amusement, and for the gals it's a form of marketing, so they have to put their best foot forward, so to speak.

If it weren't for that difference, I think you'd find a lot more off the wall stuff from gals, but that's just a supposition.

In case you haven't noticed, the internet is a wonderfull way to blow off steam under the cover of an alias.

Talk about anger and negativitiy......  Brother, this is nothing.  

Buck

Like with any other addiction or obsession, the pleasure from it is only for the time you're there and maybe a little while after. You realize real life, real problems, and your family is still at home, or not in some cases, and sex with a stranger you paid, does not make any of that go away. I've talked to so many men who say they would still cheat even if they were married to a porn star, and there are 'a few' who would stop if the wife was still loving them.

It takes 2. I can't begin to try and explain why guys write reviews the way they do, and I don't much care. I am not here to make friends, but it's nice when that happens. Also consider, some of the biggest so called bitches and assholes on TER are the most kind hearted in person, and even on other social media sites. TER provides an outlet to call out stupidity, so that's what many do.

If you honestly buy that people behave this way at their real job, with their family, friends, you are sadly mistaken. They would all be homeless and alone by tomorrow, if that were the case. Most of this is an act, that goes with the ILLUSION of pay for play. Not many people feel the need to reveal their soul here. It's an act, for the most part and that has been proven.

-- Modified on 2/17/2013 10:07:59 AM

I have gotten great benefit out of my involvement with TER (tho I have because of work pressure the last few years backed off a lot.)  I have made valued friends, met some truly lovely and enjoyable providers, and enjoyed many of the discussions.  
I try to ignore when people here are nasty to each other and try (when possible) to contribute and be respectful of those opinions about which I comment.
I do recognize some people use this as a mental playground to see who can out clever others.  I never take this personally even when the fire has been directed at me or friends of mine.

of your closest friends.  You are not going to like everybody but life is easier if we try to get along.  Some just like to stir the swill...

....good points CS. The only one I would add is that the number of folks who post on the boards is a very small percentage of those who actually particpate in P4P.

If I quit enjoying sex when my fluff didn't bring her to  O , I would seek therapy .

 Find a Dr. who will convince  you to worry about your own relationships and quibbles , or become wealthy so you will quit fretting over others .  

as the OP does with his sex addict comment, but then proceeds to feel the need to take a shot down at others on this board for the things they write. I have no desire at all to rip you for your fraility and I wish you well in overcoming your addiction if that makes you happy, but why you would feel the need to be critical here is beyond me.

So some guys like to write how great they are in bed. So? Its their membership, its their review and frankly, how do I know it didnt happen? You were there? I dont write my reviews that way for thats not my style but I dont give a rats ass how someone else writes his review. I wouldnt want all of us to write the same way. It would be boring as hell.

And how do you know what you would or would not do if you were rich? You have NO idea how you would act. Everyone loves to say if I was X, I would act like Y. But the process of becoming X, or in this example rich, it changes you, it changes your outlook. You can tell me about this pie in the sky crap all day long about how money wouldnt effect you and guess what? You would be the only one in the world that money doesnt have some effect on.

And your point about why the women would act "the most level headed" tells me you really have no understanding of this board and its wider implications. If you went into a restaurant, whom would you expect to be acting more civilly in general, the employees or the patrons? The answer is obvious. The ladies are the "employees" or the business side and the guys are the "patrons" or the client side. And since all these posts are searchable and many, many "clients" (i.e. guys) search womens posts to get a feel for their personalities to see if they might be a good fit, it is in the ladies best interests, as good business people, to keep a low profile or to speak very properly and kindly, or "level headed" to use your term. Look, you sound like you may be a good guy, but you also sound like you drew a lot of conclusions based on faulty assumptions or lack of info. No worries, we've all done it. Its called being human.

For the most part it was created to help hobbiests avoid the selection of a provider who either falsely advertises or does not provide the services desired.  TER has evolved to be more than just  that.  It has become somewhat of a brother/sister-hood of individuals willing to have or engage in sexual acts for money.  But it has also become a social gathering site much as the local tavern, FaceBook, twitter or a multitude of other social gathering organizations such as the Elks, the Masons, or the VFW.  And speaking of the VFW, do they all agree and smile harmoniously at each other?  does John Kerry hold the same political position as a McCain?

There are others on here who truly enrich the experience - Dr Joe for one.  His vast medical knowledge is not fake, it is real, and he shares it freely with all on this board - no consultation fee required!  

There is Mr. Fisher - who offers a blend of humor, and a wealth of experience - perhaps you've not read his posts!  He is the realist in the group.

Have you never met any of your fellow hobbiests in person?  I've met several and have to say, I am happy to call them friend.  One Dr Gonzo - was incredibly kind to me.  When I met him - physically and personality wise he reminded me of a long lost childhood friend...

I've met others- with equal warmth kindness and humor, sorry you've not.

As to the ladies on here, I suspect that Mr Fisher is more correct than not, when he says that the ladies are here for marketing!  But even there, I know that friendships form - after all they perform some of the most intimate acts two people can do together, how could they NOT form friendships?

Recently I ran into a lady I had only seen once 5 years ago (but I defended her on TER as there were those less kind to her) - she instantly recognized me and kept hinting that we had met before.... I finally figured it out!  So you see, sometimes "things just happen."

It truly sounds to me as if you need to think this out a bit more, for while none of us has everything all figured out, we are comfortable in the journey - if all this truly bothers you - perhaps as others have suggested, it is truly not for you, and you should just put the envelop down, walk away and nobody will get hurt!  Oh, my form of hobbying is not for the feint of heart - I've converted some to provide for me - WAY under the radar.... that is a different level of involvement and much more intertwining of our lives.