and a little old lady answers

i think oleMcdonald gave you pertinent advice hon.

Not sure if this is a bad or good thing?! I am single and I just have no interest in pursuing civie relationships unless I am really into the girl. You think it is healthy to get all your sex from providers, and only get involved in a civie relationship if you intend to marry the girl? I do go on dates and all that, but it never progresses beyond the second date since I am just not into them..

I'm guessing you aren't into them due to the fact that they probably wouldn't jump into bed with you in the first five minutes like a provider does. Most relationships with civies take a lot of effort, time and far more money then it costs to hire a provider. Provider relationships might be giving you a false sense of reality when it comes to women where if you cant get what you want immediately you aren't in to them. I'll have to admit plunking down a wad of cash and going straight to the prize is more fun but in the long run less fulfilling.

But what the fuck do I really know about you. You are a screen name and a paragraph. That's it. Best of luck!

I do the same thing.  My problem is when I go on one date it seems to turn into a long term relationship overnight.  I'm sick of hearing drama and some chick bringing me down.  I'm happy as shit fucking providers....I get what I need without all the DRAMA and bullshit.  Again, I'm a HAPPY go lucky guy...I never have DRAMA unless it relates to a chick.   I'd much rather pay and leave...and have hot chicks with NO DRAMA.  That's why most of us see providers.  I can get liad tonight for free at a bar....however, she will be calling tomorrow to ask me...."how are you"...did you have fun last night....when are we going to see eachother again?   NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm done with that shit

Addicted means dependent [on something], correct? The results of addiction usually has negative effects such as: financial burdens, causing family and friends to worry, not properly maintaining your job or career, self destructive behaviors, willing to sacrifice anything to get substance, and so on. Well, do you fall into these categories?

Wouldn't call it addiction. Now, your single & u have no interest in pursuing civie relationships unless you r interested in a girl correct? Who the hell isn't? That is what civie relationships r all about. Not a civie relationship if its a booty call relationship. Sex is healthy, all sex from a provider?...... Well, if your single, I don't know why it wouldn't be.

You mentioned a part about only wanting to see a civie unless your planning to marry. My advice is, thats a stupid statement you made. I've been in so many civies, marriage only comes to mind if both click after a certain period of time. I don't make arrangements before I meet the lady or make that kind of criteria you made. You can have a regular civie relationship without thinking of marrying her--marriage will only happen if the feeling is right, you can't decide that ahead of time, thats just silly.

You don't go on second dates cause your not into them. Well, some1 will come along sooner or later that will interest you. The planet got about 7 billion people the last time I looked around. Everything takes time. If you enjoy what you do currently and it doesn't interfere with your personal & professional life, I see no objections.

Fidcuof has the right attitude.  Have fun with it and enjoy what you're paying for.  After you're done, continue living your life!

NO....I have the right advise and the right attitude....I'm Happy and enjoyg life and what life has to offer.

the problem that I see is if that you completely rely on getting sex from providers, you start getting used to it -- that's it's immediately available with very little effort.  It's not the case in the "real" world.    I didn't start the hobbying until late (in my mid 30s, I'm in my 40s now) and I have had several long civvie relationships before I even discovered hobbying.    But even then I think it has affected my dating life.  Depending on your type of personality - if you are easily addicted, if you want to go the easy route for sex, etc. it can absolutely affect your view on dating.   It seems most "civvie" guys date to get to the point of having sex then discover if they want to continue a relationship.  But knowing you don't have to do that, you can just call your ATF, does it keep you from pursing a civvie girl any further than a second date?  You gotta figure our what your lack of motivation is.  Did you give the girl a fair shake?  Why make more of an effort if you just want to fuck?  Are you really looking to have a long term relationship?  You have to ask those questions to yourself.

Yes, I do find it hard to pursue a woman when emailing my ATF is so easy... I do want a long term relationship though..

My opinion, of course.  You're a young guy, and in this part of your life, your interaction with women now is going to set the theme of your interactions for years to come.  Myself, I was lucky enough around late high school and early college age to have some good role models for how to "be a boyfriend."  You know, how to make a girl feel special, how to choose ways to have a nice time together, etiquette for sleeping together, and so on. So i got a lot of practice at this.  I'm still good at it, and I have never had to be more than 4 weeks between women in my life.  I'm not rich, I'm not a stud, but I am a relationship magnet.  I worry about what lessons you are learning by seeing primarily providers right now.  Is that what you want to do your whole life?