A new one on me and wanted some input from everyone.  I had an encounter in which the gent immediately after arriving showed me papers in which it showed that he had been tested for all STD's and proved clean.  He asked if he could go BB for all activities, including Greek.  I respectfully declined and he was polite to say that he respected my decision, for some do accept it and one never knows unless they ask.

But as we went along with our time, he repeatedly asked.  I repeatedly declined and became quite nervous that he would pull a fast one one me.  This left me tense, nervous and sick to my stomach with fear that he would take advantage.  So much so, it left for an embarrassing mess, even after taking an enigma that morning.  Never happened before.  I was mortified.  I wanted to just leave, but was afraid of his reaction on that too and for the first time since starting this endeavor watched the clock like a hawk.  He didn't but my anxiety left for an unpleasant encounter for he kept pushing the issue.

Are there ladies that will accept papers like that?  Has anyone else made a mess even after taking the necessary precautions?  Was it just nerves?  What do you think are the proper protocols in handling a situation such as this that is justifiable?  

Lauren

You are a sweet dear, for writing this post.
No, I would NEVER do bareback, I don't care WHAT he gave me as 'proof' that he was 'clean'. And big red flags when he said that some ladies DO accept..! He obviously doesn't understand even himself about the testing..He would've had to have been tested, then not seen a single person for 6 months in order for that test to have any validity. Is he so stupid, or does he simply think that we are?
I, lately, have been getting the begging of letting them 'stick it in' for just a minute - just once, please, and then they will put the cover on. No can do. Yeah, it can be tempting as hell to give in to some of these small improprities!
As far as your embarrassing 'mess' - you poor thing. You WERE nervous, and yes, it WAS just nerves!
I'm sure you've already decided NOT to see him again! And, if he calls, I would certainly tell him WHY!
Now, you've lead me to want to post another thread...

Big 'Sedona hugs',

Sedona

Sorry to hear about your day.

No is no. A client should not ask a second time. You would have been justified to end the date when he asked the second time.

His papers would not be worth anything. For me, it takes several days at least to get test results back, so he could have easily picked up something between his test date and the day he saw you.

He should have took that as a "no", and let the matter drop.  It really sucks, when you are made to feel uncomfortable, when you are trying to give your 100%. The best thing to do now is to try to get over the episode, and decline to see him again.

Mel

-- Modified on 6/23/2003 10:30:05 AM

In medicine you should think of tests as snapshots.  They are a picture of what a person looked at one particular time.  That time was in the past and doesn't guarantee that the person is still negative.  Easiest analogy is drug testing.  You don't just drug test once.  You repeat over and over at random to get a true picture os what is going on.

Whatever your policy regarding bb or not I wouldn't change it based on paperwork.  That basically places him in the category of anyone else and I would deal with him as you would anyone else who was rude and inappropriate.

I would hope for their sake that any Lady seriously reconsiders before accepting such an offer.

And, since the guy you are referring to is probably oblivious to the anxiety he caused you, I apologize to you  for him.

I close provider friend had something like that happen to her also. Even after the she said no, the pulled a fast one and put it in her with no protection. She noticed right away and she got up. Needless to stay she won't see him again. Always use protection.

Some people (who don't have much)get off on power.  Maybe his trip was to be the great persuader/seducer.  Have a great day, and thanks for posting.

I find this post absolutely amazing.  A hobbyist, for what I assume is the inaugural visit gives you a document, which you cannot verify, professing he is clean from any STD's demands bb and you don't show him the door?  Any hobbyist that requests and then pesters a provider for unprotected sex is insulting the intelligence and decency of the provider.  Are you incredibly naive?

I had a phone call from a Doctor asking me the same thing...I told him NO... He was telling me he was safe...I still told him NO... I told him that was unsafe...His words were..." I am a Doctor I am clean ...I get tested all the time"....Then he said he is calling around and if he does not find someone to do it he will call me back an do it my way...I was hopping he would not call me back because just like you I did not trust him about keeping the condom on....
I was told by a man if the money is right he can get anything...Any way he wants it too.

The guy who wanted to go bareback is a selfish immature jerk who probably makes life hell for everyone around him in other ways. A manipulative brat who learned early in life that he could get his way if he whined for long enough. Sounds like the mindset of the typical embezzler who claims he need the money for his wife's surgery then you find out she left him fifteen years ago. A good flogging would do him a world of good.

As far as HIV testing goes, the ELISA test is regarded as fairly accurate three months after exposure, and highly accurate six monts after exposure. ELISA does not test for HIV virus, but it does test for the antibodies the immune system produces in response to HIV.

The Polymerase Chain Reaction (PCR) test, which is required to work in the adult video business (in theory... but mandatory in the better places) is supposed to detect the presence of the virus after one month of infection.

Few people elect to have the PCR test due to its exorbitant cost. IMHO, it borders on criminal that this vital, and highly reliable test, is priced so highly on the retail market that it is available to only a few, and certainly not to those who need it the most.

that Phil Hendrie would come up with.

If I were you I would either tell the world who this guy is, or at least tell all your sister providers who this ass is.

Take care, and may you never encounter a client like that again.

One of the first things I do when I meet a provider is to set MY ground rules.  I tell her that if SHE says "please don't" or "no",it means just that.  No second tries or requests by me.  They really appreciate my bringing this up and it makes for a more relaxed session.

Thanks.  I like the idea and I’ll try it.  Anything that cuts down on misunderstandings is worth a try.

As a hobbyist, I'm glad that you do everything to prevent infection. I think it would have been totally appropriate for you to warn him when he first asked, that the next time would end the session.
This sport is about fantacies and feeling young (or at least youth). The hobbyists talk a lot about how the providers enjoy their work, or just lay there, etc.. If they really want the provider to enjoy her work, they need to contribute and minimize stress.
Unfortunately, using condoms does remove some of the physiological benefits of real sex. Too bad. This sport would not exist without condoms and testing and proper care.

to all that have responded.  Although it is not unusual to have such a request, it was the first time papers were given to me as some kind of proof and the first time I had heard that a lot of ladies accept those papers.  I wondered if that was so.

As to being naive?   Yes, after a year and a half in the biz, just when I think I know it all, I learn something new or encounter something that I never had before.

It is not uncommon for gents to ask for BB, nor is it uncommon in the heat of the moment that the request is made.  More so now than before.  I even have had regulars that felt comfortable after a time and then requested it.  I have always been polite, but firm in denying that request.  The gents tell me, there are ladies that do and it doesn't hurt in asking and the answer of "no" has always been respected.  This was the first time I had found myself in a situation in which the request was pushed to the extent of having the anxiety I did.

I would have rather had BC on this, but since there wasn't an email readily available, I will put it here.  Again, it isn't that uncommon of a request.  He asked, seemed respectful and I went on.  As the time progressed he pestered me on it to the extreme anxiety point.  Finding the door would be very simple, but when one is on there stomach with a man twice my size on top and their prick crammed up my ass, the option isn't quite as easy for one.  

Being that it was the "inaugural" meeting as you coined it, I did not know what to expect from him and his reactions to my finding the door, that I chose to play it as cool as I could.  

A lady has to keep it in mind with every meeting that she goes to that she may be faced with a possible loose cannon.  One guages the situation and acts accordingly.  I have had one situation in which I physically threw a man out the door when he refused to leave and had to have security escort him out of the building when he stayed at my door begging me to let him back in.  I have had physical altercations with men that were trying to push their limits.  They are rare, but do happen.

There are all sorts, it isn't so cut and dry and each and every situation has to be handled accordly.  One never knows until they are there.  This was one in which I knew if things escalated, that I would be on the loosing end of the battle.  The idea is to get out safely with the least amount of damage.  

I resent your flippant attitude.  Wearing those rose colored glasses thinking that all men will be gentlemen and that a lady would never have to worry about getting hurt is highly naive on your part.  I would love to trade places with you.  I think your attitude would do a very quick about face when you realize that although this is for the most part great, there are those times and situations in which it isn't so rosey.  Lots of pricks abound.

Lauren  


-- Modified on 6/24/2003 9:25:46 AM

Sometimes I wonder if I am just paranoid in this story, but I don't think so:

A very nice, educated gentleman and I were doing missionary during a first time session. He pulled out and then started rubbing his penis against my upper thigh repeatedly, then went back in. Just about the time he went back in, I put my hand down to try to "help out" because I thought he was simply having trouble getting back in.

To my surprise, I found the condom was off, laying on my thigh. Of course I told him to stop immediately; then I went and got another one.

At first I thought it was just an accident, but when he left me a $200 tip (on top of my $500 fee), I got to wondering if it was really an accident or not.

Maybe instead it was a "whoops, I got caught" payoff?  

(and, yes, I got tested--no problems)