I gotta tell ya, all this playing dumb when communicating with providers, trying to conceal my TER handle, is driving me bananas. I've seen several veteran hobbyists here caution against giving it out, as it will limit your ability to write unflattering reviews with impunity. But should I even give a shit? I mean, is the risk real that if you write a less than flattering review of a provider with a strong board presence and reputation, and she knows your board identity, that you will rue the day you ever divulged your handle?
Is it important to you to conceal your TER handle from the providers you contact? If so, why? If not, why not?
(Ladies, didn't mean to discriminate. While the question is not directed at you, please feel free to add your comments. Although I think it's obvious that you would ALWAYS prefer to know a new client's TER handle. Not necessarily as a way to retaliate against him for an unflattering review, but simply to look up his reviews and posts as part of your normal screening process.)
Once you go down one road or the other, it's hard to change back.
I decided to go the route of having the gals know who I am. I decided to see only well reviewed providers and am very picky, so I figured I wouldn't have to worry about the anonymity. Fortunately, I haven't yet had a bad experience to write about.
This way providers are more open to seeing me, which is the biggest plus.
If I was more of a mind to see lots of gals with few or no reviews, I would have gone the other route.
There's no wrong decision per se. It's up to the individual.
They already know your real name, most likely. Do they need to know your fake ones too? With the over whelming desire to use multiple aliases here, why not give them one of those. I mean if they aren't too precious. You could make up an extra alias just for a provider. If her name is Mary, call yourself MaryFan4Ever and post with it a few times.
My TER handle has opened some doors more quickly because it lets the lady know you have a board pressence that they can follow to get an idea of what kind of guy you are. Also, they can also see that I am white listed by some well-known ladies (I've been at this for 7 years).
Like MrFisher, I see only well-reviewed ladies and have not had to write a review that was uncomplimentary. Sure, some sessions are better than others, but I will find the positives to write about. But, if I do come across a lady with old pics or who "just lays there", I will not hesitate to say so.
Things I always ask the guys when they contact me:
* where they found me (I keep track of the right places to place my advertising money)
* if was on a board, his name there (so I can read about him, his likes and dislikes)
Knowing beforehand about a client makes for a better time for him. I will be aware of the things he enjoys the most and the things he doesn't.
Also, I like to see what kind of ladies he met. If he has a particular taste and most of them fall into that and I don't, I make sure to discuss with him. Some guys are very visual and like their women with certain looks and it might be a problem during our encounter.
I want a guy to come knowing all about me but I also want to know a bit about him too. If we are not a match, I will decline the appointment and explain why. I will even recommend ladies in my city who might be a better fit for his needs.
I prefer to have an awesome time with a client and truly forget is a service, instead of having just an appointment (and keep looking at the clock wishing to end soon).
PCG
In this age of computers and other such equipment,nothing is hidden!
I quess i am more open than most,so no,i don't try and conceal my handle!
I am single and live alone,so concealment is not as big of an issue,as it might be for some.
My TER handle has often made the screening process much easier, along with Date-Check and P411. I've also been fortunate enough with the ladies that I've seen, so I haven't had to write any bad reviews since early on. Several of the ladies I've met in the past few years have been ones that our first contact was on these boards. After a little electronic flirting, we knew each other's handles anyway, and it's worked out very nicely for me.
I am a low-turnover hobbyist. Most of my appointments are with women I've already seen. So far this year, I have had 2 not-before-seen sex partners; one of whom was a provider.
Because of that low turnover, I can invest the effort in making sure any woman I see will be a good experience. So I simply do not have bad experiences with providers; therefore giving them my ter handle has no real down side.
Any lady I book off of ter is someone who has communicated with me on the boards, therefore she already knows my handle. Hiding it would be impossible.
If I book someone who is not active on the discussion boards on ter; I do not give her my handle.
I don't give her my handle because my philosophy is quite different from that of Penis Captivis Girl; perhaps because I am an unusual client.
I am different sexually with every provider I see. Markedly different. For a provider to read my reviews and then try to imitate what someone else did that I may have enjoyed is to sell herself short. What I enjoy with one woman I might not enjoy with another. Every woman is different and I react to her differently. So I don't want providers prejudiced by my reviews.
Furthermore, I have seen some REALLY fantastic providers. IMO, some of the best that exist. Looking at the reviews of some of those ladies might cause a lady to give up hope. LOL So I actually prefer that ladies NOT read my reviews.
Because of that low turnover, I can invest the effort in making sure any woman I see will be a good experience. So I simply do not have bad experiences with providers; therefore giving them my ter handle has no real down side.
Any lady I book off of ter is someone who has communicated with me on the boards, therefore she already knows my handle. Hiding it would be impossible.
If I book someone who is not active on the discussion boards on ter; I do not give her my handle.
I don't give her my handle because my philosophy is quite different from that of Penis Captivis Girl; perhaps because I am an unusual client.
I am different sexually with every provider I see. Markedly different. For a provider to read my reviews and then try to imitate what someone else did that I may have enjoyed is to sell herself short. What I enjoy with one woman I might not enjoy with another. Every woman is different and I react to her differently. So I don't want providers prejudiced by my reviews.
Furthermore, I have seen some REALLY fantastic providers. IMO, some of the best that exist. Looking at the reviews of some of those ladies might cause a lady to give up hope. LOL So I actually prefer that ladies NOT read my reviews.
I think you're wrong there. A lot of times it doesn't have anything to do with your reviews, but your board presence. Honestly, I rarely, rarely ever ever ever read the reviews of ANY guy that I see that is a reviewer. I like to see if he's had recent reviews, or what ladies he has seen but I do not read the reviews because I go into every session organically.
Men come to see ME, not me pretending to be someone else. A very good friend told me this once and I agree with her. Just because you enjoyed the soft sensual body rub that provider A gave you does not mean that you want one or would like one from me since that's usually not on my list of things we're going to do. That's under like, playing patty cake. So don't just think all of us are perving your reviews to see what you like. If you're coming to see me, you're going to get the Rae Monroe show, not the johngaltnh show.
I just said this last week to a guy, this is the Rae Monroe show, and honey, it ain't amateur hour.
Love Rae Monroe
And that's exactly what I'd want to see: you.
Hey -- if I wanted to see someone else ... I wouldn't have booked you ... right?
As another poster mentioned, I am single and have nothing to hide, and I think, as also mentioned, allowing my handle to be known by providers lets them know I am safe. They also can see my whitelist references, read my infrequent posts, and get a general idea of who I am, and know my reputation on the board.
If you choose your providers carefully, with proper research, you should not have to write a bad review, unless circumstances just go whacko and you have no choice. And we have read those horror stories about dates gone wrong, haven't we?
Some dates are going to be better than others, that's a given, but if you do your research correctly, hopefully you won't have the need to write a bad review.
To be honest, I don't quite understand why some guys feel like they have to hide their handle from the ladies. It just seems to me, the benefits of them knowing it would outweigh the detriments. But, everyone's situation and outlook on this matter is different.
Swim
I contact them through P411, and almost none of them even bother to check my profile. Only two girls have asked me for a board handle, but that was after I posted a review. I didn't have a problem giving it to them because they were positive reviews.
Very few local providers use TER, so my TER handle wouldn't mean anything to the vast majority of them.
Aside from Mister Fisher, who laid out a case for not sharing (even though he does), the rest of you don't mind at all--in fact, you love the benefits garnered from sharing your handle with providers.
Hmm, maybe some other experienced hobbyists will chime in here and say, "Don't do it, kid! You'll never forgive yourself!" Lol If you're out there, please post to bring some balance to this discussion.
I know that what you want to hear, but sorry. I don't mind sharing my handle at all. I have actually used my TER handle in lieu of screening on ocassion.
Besides any provider that still wants to see me after all the crap I have written over the years, has got to be a woman worth seeing. lol
...the providers don't know who to contact for references. Do you still have that white list by a provider you never saw, lol?
If the integrity of your reviews means anything, don't do it. Plus you'll get hassled if you leave a bad or poor review.
mostly because most of my dates do not take it as a reference so what would be the point of me volunteering it?. Besides, I want to be able to post honest reviews without being attacked by such providers...there are too many providers that put too much weight on the reviews and will do anything to keep their profile spotless.
After having a couple of incidents come back to bite me, I try to avoid giving out my TER handle. Most of the time it will be fine, but you never know - until it is too late - whether you are going to end up regretting it.
Many providers treat their review scores as if each one had to be a mini-advertisement for them. Honesty is not always appreciated. I am not even talking about reactions to harsh reviews. I am talking about reactions to an 8/8 review that explains that I had a good time - but apparently that is not good enough for some ladies out there.
I would advise against it if you have any other recourse for screening.
The first one was a mature provider with years of very high ratings. She simply said that she didn't think we would be a good match. I was a bit miffed, but hey WTF. The second was a lot less benign. She also is very high rated. I believe she contacted another extremely high rated provider whose performance I rated as simply less than stellar. Maybe she'd had an off day; I don't know; but that provider had VM'd me crying her eyes out when my review came out. Anyway, the later provider didn't only reject me but told me that she'd heard that I'd been exposed to disease. I posted this on this forum already and have learned a great deal from the responses, which has caused me to change certain procedures. One perpetual problem area is that you cannot take advantage of being white-listed without giving out your true handle and having all your reviews up for viewing.
She knows, she doesn't know, whatever.
Fuck her board presence, what good is that? Slander is a two way street. She can air shit out on the boards if she wants, and you could just as easily return the favor and put her on blast.
Doing your homework before ever winding up in a room with her tends to alleviate the need to write less than flattering reviews anyway. If not, so be it, don't write one at all if you're scared of your precious handle being tarnished.
For the life of me I can't figure out why so many guys give a shit about protecting the image of a fucking internet username.
What does "put her on blast" mean?
Fuck her board presence, what good is that? Slander is a two way street. She can air shit out on the boards if she wants, and you could just as easily return the favor and put her on blast.
Doing your homework before ever winding up in a room with her tends to alleviate the need to write less than flattering reviews anyway. If not, so be it, don't write one at all if you're scared of your precious handle being tarnished.
For the life of me I can't figure out why so many guys give a shit about protecting the image of a fucking internet username.
Doing your homework before ever winding up in a room with her tends to alleviate the need to write less than flattering reviews anyway. If not, so be it, don't write one at all if you're scared of your precious handle being tarnished.
For the life of me I can't figure out why so many guys give a shit about protecting the image of a fucking internet username.
Concerning the idea of never having to write a "less than flattering" review, that's just crazy. First off, no matter how good a provider is, she can't be perfect for every guy, every time. Sometimes people just don't click. Maybe she just had an off day. Maybe the guy was expecting more based on previous inflated reviews and was slightly disappointed.
The capper to all this is that even if you don't write a harsh review, even if it is just a little below her personal standards or previous history, you may end up paying for it.
Related to that last thought, why do I care about the "image of a fucking internet username"? I don't. But I do happen to care that a provider most likely has some personal information about me and she could use that. Actually, I guess I do care a little bit about whether my TER username unfairly gets dragged through the providers' back-channel mud slinging. It makes it that much more difficult to get an appointment with a future provider if she wants that information.
Sure, if a guy is writing scathing personal attacks in reviews for his own warped interest, he deserves what he gets. But for an honest guy to get back-stabbed, to be that is something to be leary of.
Obviously, you don't care and more power to you.
The last review I wrote was the lowest score the girl has ever recieved.
I didn't say a bad review was "never" called for, only that it can often be avoided by due dilligence on your part. And the fact is you never HAVE to write a review at all, ever, that's your prerogative. I seldom do.
The last thing I'm worried about is making a review live up to "her standards". This site would be useless if we all did that.
I don't know what's going on where you live that your handle plays such a big role in booking a date. You don't even need to write a review to get your name tossed around in provider gossip, trust me. If something is off about you, it'll be broadcast to whomever it may concern. No use stressing over what you have no control over. As far as your personal info goes - don't give it out and you won't have to worry about it.
I honestly can't say I have an opinion, but I'll be more cautious after reading these. If you're going to write a review, then the first priority has to be honesty and integrity of it, and if that's going to come back and bite you.... well, there are plenty of other providers out there.
I'm a bit surprised by the post that said "you should never have to write a bad review". I guess if you never TOFTT or took the chance to give a girl a first review then there may be some truth in it, but I consider bad experiences to be part of the journey. I'll live with the chemistry not always being right, as long as it's not a B&S, and the provider is some kind of effort.
But I don't care what people here really think about me or is a provider is unhappy with the review I wrote. I give providers my real name, and they can do much more damage with that then my TER name. If she does not like the review I wrote then I likely will not be repeating or using her as a reference. I guess she could blast me on the boards or with other providers, but I could return the favor. She needs to see new clients more than I need to see new providers. I just don't care one why or anther.
I would not post anything in a review I would not say to the provider in person. It is funny how some people think they are serious critics and have to remain tough, secretive and fully objective. Me, I am sharing information, and it serves at least as much to provide good publicity for the provider, as to provide a useful guide for my fellow hobbyists.
The time I share with a provider is far more intimate than the time I share with the guys here (sorry, guys) and while I would only post a review that is honest and sets expectations properly for anyone who reads it, I also would only post a review that is considerate and respectful to the lady. There is an exception to that - if we really did not share an intimate time together, but rather I was scammed or otherwise taken advantage of or put into danger. Fortunately that has not happened, thanks to my fellow reviewers.
It is not always easy to balance the need for truth in the review and consideration for the provider, so in principle I realize there will be times when I just do not post a review. That has not happened yet. Anyway, I believe that if you cannot say it to her face, you have no business posting it in public.
I have no patience at all for the guys who post reviews to build some fantasy image of themselves as big, bad, tough studs who can go all night and demand perfection. I want to read reviews that are about the lady, and the shared experience, and that is what I write and post.
Okay, now rip me guys for being a pussy.
... Okay, now rip me guys for being a pussy.
Happy?
To expand a bit further. What you are saying is that you won't write a negative review unless it is a total rip-off. Is that correct? Great!
So the corollary to what you are saying is:
"Yeah, I avoided seeing all those less than stellar providers because the guys before me had the honesty and back-bone to actually submit all those truthful though not enthusiastic reviews. Sure am glad I could use the system to my advantage. Wait, no, I'm not going to help out other guys by posting about any of my less-than-stellar experiences. Let then find out for themselves. I want to the best buddy of every lovely lady out there.
"Hey, thanks for contributing to the system.
-- Modified on 10/28/2010 4:43:00 PM