Very curious to hear thoughts on this... Do a lot of lady providers have boyfriends?

Providers who have "boyfriends", do you make them pay for your time? And what do you generally look for in someone you want to date...  

I've seen someone I potentially would be interested in dating, but not sure if I'm just crazy

Maybe that will give you some insight...

Everything you see on TV is true.  

New, but I have FWB's... don't feel respected by them, but its fun and at least they're nice!

For reasons too boring to elaborate, I've seen shrinks on and off for years. I've learned from them that a lot of clients think they've fallen in love with their shrinks.

It's actually not that hard to understand. A shrink mostly listens without argument while the client talks about the client's favorite topic: himself. The client is divulging his/her innermost thoughts and feelings, and putting those thoughts and feelings into the hands of the shrink. Over time the client can confuse this intimacy as romantic.

The problem is that it's a one-way intimacy. The shrink divulges nothing of himself, and the good ones avoid becoming emotionally attached, as it clouds judgment.

I suspect there's similar reasons for clients to think they're in love with providers. There's obviously intimacy. Perhaps not intellectual or emotional, but certainly physical. The provider is physically attractive to the client. She does all of his favorite things. She may seem like the ideal woman.

The problem is that here, too, it's usually a one-way intimacy. The client really knows little about her and, judging from what I've read here, she tries to keep from getting involved in emotions or personal issues.

I find myself thinking back to my last session with a provider, and having very fond thoughts about her. It's important that I realize that the fond thoughts are about the physical, not necessarily the intellectual, as I really know nothing about her.  For all I know she could be a shrieking maniac in real life, but BHC she's sweet and cuddly.

I've never seen Pretty Woman... I know the song though :s

Lol!

With a couple of providers I have both physical intimacy (duh) and emotional intimacy.  I don't have any illusions about the nature of the relationship, and I know that if the $$ stopped flowing, I wouldn't be seeing them much.

Having said that, with a couple of my regular providers, we *are* friends, and I know them as well as I know any other person whom I might think of as a friend.  I know their real names, their real addresses, stuff about their family or civvie bf, etc.

For me, hobbying is not just about the time spent on the sheets.  I enjoy the small talk before the festivities begin, and I enjoy the quiet moments afterward, just sort of basking in the moment as we give each other light massages.  It's all part of the GFE for me--key letter being that "F"; yeah, there are one or two providers who I really do think of as friends, and I know they think of me the same way.

Would this person bring me soup and Advil while I was sick in bed with a very high fever/the flu? Would I trust them enough to see me in my most vulnerable, unattractive, broken-down state? Would they hold my hair and get me a glass of water while I puked into the toliet?

Any "no" answers indicate "acquaintances" NOT "friends."

No, I don't consider my clients "friends" in the true sense of the word!

-- Modified on 8/14/2013 6:12:30 AM

See them quite a few times. I want to date many after I have seen them once. LMFAO  

Because right off the bat you know what she does.... Dating in the civvie world for us is definitely not a good idea and quite difficult because the general public is not prepared to deal with the connotations  and stigmas that the provider life has (odd hours, overnights, trips etc).  It is perhaps human nature to feel jealous and certainly, that is recipe for disaster in most relationships with these dynamics. Although Pretty Woman is quite a nice movie, you have to understand that even there, Richard Gere had some issues explaining the nature of his relationship with Vivian, the key  was that he was looking at her as a woman not as a simple street walker that he picked up because, what we do for a living or to support our dreams or goals in life does not define us as a person, we are just like regular girls at the end of the day. I'm not saying that you can't date a provider but keep in mind that it can be challenging at times but not impossible if you give her the respect and acceptance as a human being  that we all deserve.

I've known several providers, who have had boyfriends in the hobby (who were actually hobbyists).  It is def. more difficult to pull off than having a civvie boyfriend, but dating happens. They pay.  

What someone would look for would be: solvency , chemistry, fun, shared interests, availability, and understanding. Basically the same thing you look for in a civvie, but more emphasis on the first

With at least one (maybe two) of my favorite providers?  Whom I *have* seen in their most vulnerable broken-down state?

Does this test have to work both ways?  Does a provider need to see me in my most vulnerable state as well?

Not that it matters--either way, I have a definite "friend" status with at least one "provider/friend" of mine...

No, I'm not trying to go for the humble brag here.  Just contending that every relationship one has with another human being is different and unique (or at least, that it can be under the right circumstances), and not as easily quantifiable as you suggest.

Of course, YMMV.

I am not a needy, lonely person, and I like my alone time. If I can't give myself 100 percent to only one man, it's simply not worth the hassle.

First if you are paying you are not a BF or dating, you are a client, that is the sharp line in the sand.

Google "my girl friend is a escort" or similar and you see lots and lots of guys fall for and date escorts. Just like in the civvie world sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  

So book a session with your interest and be open and honest with her. The worst that can happen is she says no and doesn't want to have you as a client anymore, in which case the feeling was one sided anyway and would never worked.

Support her, trust her and remember most girls don't make a life long career out of this. If you do start going out and get more serious don't pressure her to stop, most girls get into this with specific needs or goals that need to be met. So if you want her out, help her reach her goals meet her needs.

I may be the exception as far as hobbyists, but if a provider is not on the clock, she is the same as any Lady and I will treat her the same.  Providers, I am sure have lives also, including family, friends, activities and what.  You are asking about a person, not a business.

Not all but most women in this business are NUTS!

Dating a provider is a roller coaster 24/7
You need to be able to seperate her job from who she is.
Also remember she will never be completely yours.

Not many are ok with that even if you think you are ok with it too many realise its really complicated.

I was with someone for 2yrs who was clueless about this when the shit hit the fan...it was messy.

Then with someone who was an ex client for 3yrs
Honestly it was a good relationship, he *GOT IT*
He understood this and my role in it. BUT...i noticed this relationship could only go so far. Then it was stagnent. it cripled the distance of the relationship ended up ending too bad...

I dated another guy exclient for a few months he was resentful of what i do not able to handle it.

it takes the right mindset to date someone in this business it CAN happen and CAN work but not for everybody and honestly only works long term for very few.

Like any relationship it takes work and more so in the communication depts.

Moving aside from the idea if it's a good idea or not, I feel like this is the ultimate golden rule should anyone ever go into a serious relationship with a provider. If you want to be with her, you need to ask yourself if you can accept that she is an escort and this is the path she's chosen. It may not be forever but if even her being an escort for one more day gives you the willies, this kind of relationship is not for you. She can't ask you to stop doing xyz for an occupation, so you shouldn't either!

and so when you add some baggage like the hobby, they can get downright unbearable.

But, it can work.  I've been dating an (now ex)escort now for 8 years.  It's had it's ups and downs, but seems to be holding up.

I've been seeing the same (now ex) escort, on and off for about six years now. We are more like FWB or Fuck buddies now, definitely non exclusive, but we are still in each others lives after all this time. I know her entire family including her parents (who are a bit younger than me) and she is "face book" family with my mother who is completely aware of her past.

Here is my own personal dating history, while I was a provider ...

When I started doing this hobby, in late 2006, I was involved with another provider.  That provider was my close friend, and there was nothing else going on in my love life.  

In 2007, I had a civvie GIRLFRIEND !!!  ( Yes, I am bisexual IN REAL LIFE !!! + she is a lesbian !!! )  We were similar in our hobbies + interests + outlook on life.  

In early 2008, I moved to NYC.  I was too busy to make my love life happen, but I was spotted on the subway by a young (ten years younger) artist.  He put a lot of energy into my love life that I could not ever find in "the hobby."  I was with him for two years.  

My next romance was a brief stint with a semi-famous musician, who is ten years older than I am.  I had interesting feelings with him because he looked like a client, but was more like me, on the inside.  I was intrigued by that mixture + juxtaposition, at that point in my life.  Strangely enough, I was on tour, and he was NOT on tour, and that's how I met him randomly in public.

My next romance was another brief stint with another man, who was more my age, but felt like a juxtaposition of client/self.  I was obviously still fascinated with that dynamic.  

Then, my next romance was with a native New Yorker, who is my age, who is an artist + I was excited because we both share a love of this city that I adore so much.  Out of everyone I was with, the last one was most financially generous with me, but I never asked for it.  Like my other "New York artist boyfriend", this last boyfriend added a certain type of energy into my personal life that I cannot find anywhere else, including "the hobby."

reasons you might think.  In both instances it was fun, and we kept it light hearted.  In one instance she quit seeing me, as she became ill, and needed to focus on healing (which I am delighted to report that she did!)

In the other instance it was difficult dating her due to her being located in another city and holding down a dozen or so jobs!  she was certainly energetic.

END OF MESSAGE

It works out well. As I've said a few times, I'm not monogamous, so there are little to no jealousy issues between the two of us. I would never date a client- too messy, and I don't think that someone who saw me as a provider would ever 'get me' in the way that I need a partner to.