Many times providers take what they say in simple chit-chat conversations for granted. As a client I take notes and remember what they say. Then a few months later I ask them about what they told me and they forgot and say "that never happened to me" or whatever. If a provider can't keep her story straight how can believe her that she is STD free ?

I have caught a few and decided not to see them  again because of dishonesty.

but I hate being canceled with a stupid lie. My previous ATF started cancelling on me, saying "Oh I'm so sick today. Can't see you", "Oh I'd forgotten I have to attend a birthday party tonight. I can't see you", bluh bluh

Later, some TER member PMed me saying "Hey I had a great f**k with provider-A this afternoon". That was when I was supposed to see her. She canceled me more than a few times to see someone else!!!

Of course, I have stopped seeing her!

...anyone in your life is capable of lying, civvies as well, and people seem to be more likely to have bareback sex with them (though I don't for the life of me know why) if you are honestly worried about disease.

Everyone has the right to privacy, and to hide whatever they don't wish others to know. Its done very often, and mostly goes unnoticed, or not acknowledged even if so. You can never truly know anyone in this world-- people tell you what they want you to know about them, to make up what they want you to see about them; its a matter of fact. You just have to accept it and hope that what you know of someone is infact the truth.

People get caught up, and tripped up in their own little lies all the time, that does not exactly mean that they were lying about other things they have said-- and just the same they could have a compulsive habit to do just so... you would never know for sure (unless you wish to travel constantly with one of those portable lie detectors available for purchase at many internet electronic purveyors for about $70)...

If you want to use that as an example to gauge honesty about other things, that is your prerogative. However, I myself would not practice it, as I would likely begin not to trust anything anyone says about anything ever... the real likelihood that someone is telling the truth about everything else, if you base it off of how many lies you hear them tell, could statistically be derived-- but it would probably be wrong. I mean, in truth, you really haven't any reason to believe people as I said-- you can only hope... so just the same, you haven't any reason not to... its all on blind faith.

Dani




-- Modified on 2/20/2006 4:19:27 PM

Since when was fantasy fulfillment suppose to be real…. Taking notes is too much in my opinion. Live for the moment your with that someone special, that someone you searched for, read about, did your homework on, and dropped the $$$ on, or don't and consider all the trouble you just saved yourself from going through..

I understand everyone is different and what floats your boat might capsize mine. I don't look for them to be open, honest, and frank - well, I want them to tell me if there real name is Frank before we go to far - LOL. But, there is something odd when I try to envision you taking mental notes of what they say and do to catch them in a lie later on - what's wrong with this picture?

I guess when you hear them tell you “how much of a man you are” and “Oh My you Soo Big” or “you were the greatest” or “your so handsome” - you actually believe this??? While sometimes it might be true - LOL - I hope they lie about this stuff.  I'm not there to be told I'm old, slow, and balding, fat, incapable of satisfying them (though some have said exactly that – LOL). I'm hoping their experience in this business had earned them a degree in acting and an Oscar for their performance - and tonight Oscar winning performance is (see TER reviews)

And since you are on the subject of STD's, do you tell her about everyone you've ever been with before - so she can take notes and know if you've slept with one of the BBFS providers or maybe a TS provider, or even if you've slipped to the dark side with another guy – since you take notes – I guess you might bring your list – please, I’m joking (I hope he doesn’t say that he has a list)

I understand your post is meant to bring out opinions of others and might not actually represent an experience you've had - but this one makes me wonder if this is how you feel and what's the point of your being in the Hobby at all... Sorry about the rant - just my opinion...

Many times I have caught ladies telling me “white lies”, as you have done.  I never confront them about it or take it personally because I always have thought it as a normal aspect of the hobby that is needed to protect themselves, their business, and probably my feelings. As a result I expect to hear white lies and am therfore somewhat cynical especially when the ladies comments are complementary in nature.  As far a STD, regardless of what the ladies says one should assume she is a health threat and take necessary precautions that is compatible with the risk you are willing to accept. Even if a lady had a full STD screen just before seeing you indicating she is STD free it may not be necessary so.

-- Modified on 2/21/2006 3:07:06 AM

-- Modified on 2/21/2006 7:55:49 AM

Another self important, invasive asshole with whom I don't have to deal.

It's never fun being cancelled on, but hobbyists do this all the time to us, too.  I've found out more than once that a hobbyist has cancelled on me at the last minute, only to learn that he booked another appointment. It's frustrating on both sides.

Hugs,
Ciara

Keep using it if it works !

I see no correlation between lying and std's but if this makes him feel better then keep on trucking !

We all have different ideas about what is unacceptable behavior in those that we let close to us ...

xo Lisa

Keep using it if it works !

I see no correlation between lying and std's but if this makes him feel better then keep on trucking !

We all have different ideas about what is acceptable behavior in those that we let close to us ...

xo Lisa

My three favorites:

"I think bald is sexy!"

"I hardly noticed your scar(s)."

"No, seriously Lex, you are bigger than most guys!"

-- Modified on 2/21/2006 10:56:35 AM

I don't like fantasy experiences that much, want something real, a nice lady who talks the truth and is nice to me.  I sometimes hear truth from asian ladies, it's very nice, really a lovely experience.  I don't know why they all couldn't tell the truth about things.  Don't do the risky things that can lead to STDs, that is the best thing you can do.  If she has one, she might not know it or be symptomatic.

My ladies say "Oooo... you're so strong" because "Oooo... you're so big" would be lying. I look and feel especially young -- they all guess that I'm 30-38 -- and "cute" when I'm with them.  

-- Modified on 2/21/2006 4:34:07 AM

Certainly providers tell white lies and we do as well. No one is immune from this proclivity in or out of the hobby.  Who hasn't played with the truth to make someone feel better or to obscure something about ourselves or another?  It's the way of the world.

Referring to an earlier post, I found it a little absurd to suggest that a provider represents a health risk to her partner without also acknowledging that we represent a health risk to her. This is an equal opportunity activity and it's up to all of us, providers and hobbyists alike, to look out for one another.

Once I saw a lady who was with an agency.  Our session was good, but cut short due to the agency intervention....  A couple of months later, this lady went solo, posted an ad and I called up to make an appointment.  She - having met me exactly once - for less than an hour, recognized my voice and had some fun with me...

She asked for a reference.... and I related that I did not have any readymade references...  but could offer that I had uses such and such service.  She then proceeded to say to me "you have seen me before!"  I commented that I had not... she then provided details of our visit - including a story I had relayed to her...

Wow was all I could say.  Several other ladies have remembered things that I say to them - but that I do not recall...   so, I am grateful that they see me again, as I am so dihonest.... - get real....   it is exactly what we all know it is  "small talk"

Do you make an appointment - find out that someone you would rather see can see you at exactly the time that you have already booked?  what do you do?  Do you cancel - or go through with the original plans?  curious.....

However, that might depend on several other things.  The lead time that I have, for one thing.  However, it finally comes down to this: it's my money.  I might be inclined to resort to a white lie.

Go through with the original appointment.  I'd feel honor bound and hope that I could hook up with the other lass at another time.

well, i'd think she's trying to give a compliment rather than fabricate statements that she wants you to believe are factual. My fear is someone stringing me along to get me to come to her, telling me she's single instead of married, she checks herself for STDs when she doesn't, telling me I'm her favorite (not that it will ever happen) when she might telling that to others, using her sensuality to excessively manipulate me (i think there's a line there between having a nice personality with truth and trying to manipulate). I saw an asian lady who didn't speak great english recently, she wasn't trying to be sensual when she spoke to me, and she spoke quietly when she said something that she though I might not agree with or didn't answer the question correctly.  I think she warmed to me after a while. I liked that personality rather than someone telling me lies or trying to manipulate me with their personality.  I think I want to know what's going on upfront that's all, my personal preference.

Interesting that.  On this board, I keep a relatively open mind - and have changed my opinion in the face of logical and well presented arguments.  Enough said.

There are ladies who see so many gentleman they can't possibly keep track of what they said or to whom.  Doesn't necessarily mean they are lying...  I think you are reading too much into this and misinterpreting the fact that they just can't remember.  Also this has no bearing on wether or not they have any STD's.  Two different subjects.  Most who are in the trade and are professional will not risk their health or anyone elses if they are ill or suffering from an STD.  Most STD's for women end up causing pain and discomfort.  So a lady may not be inclined to see anyone if she is sick.

I just don't see how you can equate a white lie with she must have an STD if she tells little white lies.  

Shaking my head in confusion here.  I think there are gentleman who ask prying questions of ladies then take the info they get straight to other people because they like the "gossipping drama".  Some gentleman I have personally known in the past take things that were said out of context and then share what is suppose to be a private conversation with others putting their own spin on the story.

we (providers) spend a lot of time getting ready and planning our day. We may have even cancelled another appointment to be with you. So, we're not only wasting our time doing our nails, hair, etc., but we are also missing out on someone else's donation that we were counting on to pay a bill, whatever.  Just be curteous. You're allowed to change your minds. Like you said, it's your money. However, it's our money and time, too. Please remember!

Hugs,
Ciara

Admit your obfuscations and prevarications..... Own up to your misdeeds.... The burden must be awful for you... MA

Sometimes I just wish I would have lied and told all the hobbyists I've seen that I'm a banker. Personally, I think some of them know too much information about me, yet they don't share that much with me about their personal lives. I ALSO HATE GOSSIP. Bah humbug!  

My changing my mind would depend upon the time.  If it's five days before the appointment, I would give myself the option to cancel.  I don't know if I would take it.  I very much know which women I want to see, and my wanting to see them doesn't change that often.  

Less than a day before the appointment, no.  I wouldn't give myself that option.  

In fact, I did have to cancel the day of an appointment once in December.  Health problem.  I offered to meet her for lunch and pay her in full.  That darling lady said she'd feel too guilty to take it.  So, we rescheduled three days away.

I wouldn't mind if it were for health reasons. There are always emergencies (as you and I both know).

Hugs,
Ciara

“Referring to an earlier post, I found it a little absurd to suggest that a provider represents a health risk to her partner without also acknowledging that we represent a health risk to her. This is an equal opportunity activity and it's up to all of us, providers and hobbyists alike, to look out for one another.”

Yes and the best way to “to look out for one another” is not to rely on a ladies or hobbyist word on this matter but to assume that each is a risk to each other and take the precaution that is compactable with the risk you are willing to accept.  I for one never give much credence to statement made on some ladies web sites that they are “disease and drug free” Why do they feel the need to make such a statement?


-- Modified on 2/21/2006 1:19:02 PM

I had to cancel once... the cash machine ate my card.... the bank was closed and noone was around... so I did not have the donation - but out of many times at bat that was it!  I have had cancellations on me, but in the end they worked out ok.... with NO hard feelings by me.

Usually I am just happy someone will see me, being green and all....



-- Modified on 2/21/2006 12:31:10 PM

It is a hot day in Phoenix but my business required me to make the trip.  My plane touched down at 1 PM with my meeting scheduled to begin at 3:30 in downtown.  I quickly picked up the rental car, drove downtown and checked into the hotel about 2 blocks from the local tech biz incubator.  Parking there was out of the question, so I walked in 102 degree heat.  When I walked in, the CEO was not what I expected.  Her mane of long blond hair was all I could see from the back.  She turned and I realized that I had seen an ad on the internet for a provider...  and this CEO looked exactly like her.  With several people in the room - there was little I could do except choke on my surprise and turn even redder than the walk in the heat had made my face.

The negotiations took the better part of 5 hours, my nervousness compounded by my fantasy that this was the provider that I had noticed on the net.  She was totally cool, arguing each and every point to get the room to back her position.  Eventhough my organization would own 51% of the company, she would control the board, that was clear.  Towards the end, she smiled and said, "cheer up, after this you will no longer have to see me again!"  

That was it - I was torn between wanting her and wanting to be rid of her...  but we finally finished around 9 PM.  I left the building through the front door - alone as everyone else left through the parking garage...   her perfume still lingered in my nostrils.

I arrived back at the hotel, tired and sweaty.  I decided to call it a night, oozed out of my clothes, went into the shower, and let the hot water steam away the doubts from the meeting.  After the shower, I could not resist, I fired up the laptop and perused the web site where I had seen the blond CEO goddess.  IF it was not her, then she surely had a twin...  but I was sooo tired... and the room became so very dark with only the light from the laptop....

At first, it was only a feeling that something was not right.  But it was so dark... then I felt my arms and legs...  they were stretched tight to the four corners of the bed.  While they did not hurt, they were certainly not in a comfy position.  I felt it.  there it was again.  a very slight sensation - on the tip of my cock.  it grew to an intense arousal stimulus.  And would not stop.  gradually, the my eyes adjusted....  I looked down, and there was a feather, tickling the glans of my penis, held by a hand in a black velvet glove....  

"Thought I should give you a hard time, since you already gave me a hard time this afternoon" came the throaty voice.....

All accounts on TER are fictional and intended solely for their entertainment value.  The resemblance of any character(s) to person or persons living or dead are entirely coincidental.  

-- Modified on 2/21/2006 12:56:28 PM

I agree. When I first started hobbying, I didn't know any better and decided to ask whether each lady like to kiss. One Aisan lady said, "I don't like to kiss but I'll do it."; in another occasion, another Asian lady said "I just ate Thai food for lunch." (I thought, okay, I like Thai food too). Guess who is my regular now -- the one who was straight to me, and now we kiss a lot.

I mean, did you really think he would believe that the two escorts -- one African American and the other Asian -- were your daughters?  Oh, by the way, your brother says to say hi.  MA

...or would want to.  C'mon, SuperBizzarloDudely, fess up....  It's lies, all lies.....  MA

It is not gossip. It is something personal in the providers life. They will mention that situation X has happened to them. Then when you mention it again 6 months later they will say "I never told you that". I don't want to give out the situation it is not negative or positive, just something that happened not related to the hobby.

Hon, some people just have bad memories. Just move on. Wink! (eom)

-- Modified on 2/21/2006 5:33:15 PM

or maybe she is a cleverly disguised alias for BizarroDudiness himself...  This may be genius....  MA

If I am reading correctly, you are talking about a lady saying something in a "small talk" type situation only to have you query about it later and have her deny it.

It happens, I wouldn't go to then assuming she lies about her STI testing or any other serious matter, that is an extrapolation of the situaltion that to my mind doesn't follow.

We all say things from time to time, in the moment of conversation, that we later think perhaps we should not have said, shared something in retrospect that we decide we should not have shared.

In this sub-culture, where discretion and protecting ones self is so important, to say something one later thinks might have been best unsaid doesn't seem so much an indication of a dishonest person as much as someone that let their guard down and when having it brought to their attention as something that was noted later causes them to deny it.

With blurring of relatioship lines, stalkers, and any other instances of people having more information about another than is comfortable, in this business perhaps more than most, it is understandable if something said in a moment of, possible, unwise openess, to later wish somethings had not been said, to hope they had not been noticed and to hope they won't be remembered, much less be brought up and asked about.  To then have that openess presented with a future follow-up question I think would cause many to "lie" and deny saying something, to say you misunderstood, to imply you must have them confussed with another, etc.

I know that I have personally said too much about myself in messageboard posts, chats and phone calls...that I have typed or said things that as soon as hey are out there, I think "I shouldn't have said that", and hope it went unoticed, and if it were at  a later date asked about I might in that moment lie and say I hadn't said it, or that I was kidding or something along those lines...I don't think that means that nothing I ever say can be trusted, I don't think that means I am a incoragable liar, and that I should not be trusted by anyone ever....and I give that same benefit of the doubt to others.

It is your right to write ladies off for being "dishonest" and if it works for you, great..and I assume if you the same were to happen to you and a lady refused to ever book an appointment with you after such a situation you would accept that she simply treats you as you treat others.

Jadie,we're probably close to agreement on this.  My point simply is this:  we shouldn't fool ourselves any more than we should be fooled by another when is comes to a topic as serious as STDs.  Nor should we simply point the finger at the provider community. As to comments made on websites?  Who knows?  They don't bother me because when push comes to shove (so to speak), I'm going to look out for myself and for my chosen partner as best I can irrespective of any ad.

none of us have any clue as to what you are talking about.  or - are you she, whose name we cannot mention for fear of retribution?  In any event - chill dude.

I take what providers say as a part of the illusion.  A quite pleasant part.  There are providers that I've not met - but that I wish to meet and oddly enough - only for coffee... just to learn more about them as people...  go figure.  but, do I in a paid for hour, expect a lady to provide me with the intimate personal details with which I could do her harm?  no, don't think so....   and with those that I have exchanged personal information - they know as much about me - as I know about them...  

but truth be know, I do sometimes have to be reminded of what I told anyone (including my kids) let alone a provider - so while I do not lie... I just forget what I have said!  and to whom and when...  Don't know - think that what you walk away from a session with, is determined by what you think that you purchased going in...

me?! I bought the time of an illusionist who will share with  me the caring intimacy that I did not find in marriage... And I know  it is for a limited time, and I know that like all good illusions, there are things just beyond camera range...

It has come to my attention that C = BD.  There can be no doubt, not with the proof I have in my possession.  Irrefutable proof.  I have in my hand a list of 130 names.  Proof positive.  MA

And take your alter ego, Ciara Sux, with you to the psychoanalyst, please, before it's too late........  MA

or ms. sage or any of the other ciara's including the Treasure of the Sierra Madras... thank you!  I am just a divorced dude.  trying to persuade the cool ladies of  CA or the southwest to make the trip east.... to see the guys on the east coast...  I am also a guy who upon reading about Ciara of phoenix thought that we had met in a previous part of our lives in a place far from both of us now... twas not the case....  

and Masked Avenger - I do not know you - but the stuff that you speak of is a mystery to me...  maybe you are "lost" or whatever...  but I am just a guy...  who has seen several ladies... and lived to tell the tale - although I must admit - of late, I find myself writing fewer reviews... why? don't know...  just the way the psyche works.... when I analyze the board - I find that the halflife of a person on the board is about 2 and 1/2 years... I am beyond that now.   So I may start fading - guess one could say that you would be a catalyst in that!  or maybe it was just time to fade...  maybe when I fade I will bump into she, whose name we cannot mention....  

would my name be "retired"  Does TER retire names much like sports teams retiring #s?  

Anyhoo.  for all that wish to know my true review identity it is available all ya gots to do is know how to whistle....  you do know how to whistle don't ya?  you just put your two lips together and blow!

that you're someone else's alter ego.

Hugs,
Ciara

Retire?  Once you're a jet, you're a jet all the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day.  when you're a jet, you stay a jet.  So there! MA

You on the other hand, are clearly a figment of Bizarrodoodle's psychosis....  A pity, really...a little thorazine could have cleared this all up before it reached this critical and psychotic stage.  Ah, well, there is only so much an Avenger -- Masked or otherwise -- can do....  EOM MA

My favorite was when I called to get directions for a 9 am appointment I was told she would have to cancel due to her kid having to go to the ER.  I was fine, life happens.  I would have bought it but for the fact she started trying to reschedule for 11:30 am. And the background sound of her putting dishes in the sink.

Then there was the lady who screened me.  Then cancelled due to her monhly visitor.  It was not a full service appointment.

“If I am reading correctly, you are talking about a lady saying something in a "small talk" type situation only to have you query about it later and have her deny it.”

WebTerrorist ,  In generals I have enjoy the  insightfulness of your post but I think you are wrong in your post in this one respect.  Nearly all the time a ladies ”white lies” are revealed by her contradicting herself in a subsequent “small talk” conversation and not from us “query about it latter”

The first post in this thread, though, said:

"As a client I take notes and remember what they say. Then a few months later I ask them about what they told me and they forgot and say "that never happened to me" or whatever."

He stated he asks, so that caused me to assume it would be something like she mentioned something personal that he later inquired about.

Sorry for the misunderstanding but I meant to indicate that in the majority of cases this is how white lies are exposed and not from hobbyist inquisition designed to trip up a lady.