and falling in love with a fellow human being.

Sorry guys, but even "GaGambler the cynic" can't find it in him to flame this guy. What's lacking in this case is a single self deluding statement from the OP. He accepts this person for what she is, warts and all, has  no delusions about "possessing her", and is genuinely happy that she has found something more in her life.

Maybe I am still in too good a mood after my vacation in Medellin, but I don't see anything to flame this guy about. I hate white knights for their feeble efforts to curry favor with women who could care less about them, I equally hate manginas for their lack of backbone. What is there about this guyh to hate, or even make fun of?  He connected with a human being, is asking nothing from her and is genuinely elated about her happiness, even a grinch like me can't find it in me to make fun of him, plus he did it under his "real" name.

I guess it would be unusual for a man to "give away" a girl he has actually had sex with, but who I am to judge? lol

and I am happy for both of you.

But is is also possible to love a provider and have a sexual relationship (client/provider, that is) and not feel any woe that you can't run off with her.

I see a lot of favorites that I am just nuts for, but I enjoy the situations just the way that they are, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Why we sometimes feel that we have to "own" the other person or do something stupid is a puzzlement, but it happens so often.  I guess we are just made that way.

A 350 pound chick? Really?
Lemme guess....you were really seeing her potential...while thinking about how a bag of flour could help out....

-- Modified on 1/5/2011 5:39:37 PM

and then comes the most fabulous gift EVER!!!

This line...now my personal favorite....should be immortalized on a plaque in the hobby Hall of Fame (or is that Shame?)

Let us not ever forget....
"I am going help her leave this business and get her kid back when she gets out of jail"

The classics never lose their luster.

It's a beautiful thing, chexman.

I have read the Highway for some time and have a great deal of respect for you, LG. At the same time, falling in love with a provider is nearly always described in negative, "woe is me" terms. I would suggest falling in love with a person does not mean you are going to run away and marry or move in together. Falling in love with someone means having respect for who they are, listening to their thoughts and dreams, and helping them move forward in life. I met a provider about 18 months ago and I love her. I am not sad or confused about that. She is twenty three years younger than I. Even though I fell in love with her, I never thought we were going to run away together. However, I did listen to her. I have a natural curiosity about people and am a very good listener. I was seeing her almost every week for about two months and realized she wanted to get out of this business, but did not know how. I started to talk about her moving back to her hometown and going to grad school. She completed her undergrad degree and then turned to providing when her first job out of school ended. She has now moved back to her hometown, finished her first semester of grad school and is dating a great local guy. Between loans and some help from me, she has moved forward in her life. We are still in touch and often end emails with "I love you". I started saying and writing it before she moved and she started doing it too later on. She knows I really do love her, but we both know it will simply be as friends. I even told her I want to sneak in to the back of the church on her wedding day, just to see her in her dress and smile at her as she walks down the aisle. I am glad we came into each others lives albeit in a somewhat "strange" manner. Yes, I have provided financial support during her transition out of the provider lifestyle. However, it meant she had to live in a much less "nice" apartment and being a lot more frugal with her shopping. She has done great adjusting to a temporarily "poor" grad student lifestyle. She is happier with herself and I think this guy may be the one for her. So I sign off with I fell in love with a provider and am sure glad that I did. Maybe I am just an old sap or maybe I am just a decent human being. I believe we humans can love each other outside of the normal sex or marriage paradigms.

-- Modified on 1/5/2011 1:36:24 PM

and I have no plans of passing this large bowl of popcorn. This could be fun!

I just turned off the TV... this is going to be great!!!

"Maybe I am just an old sap or maybe I am just a decent human being."
Both of the above, I'd say, and not a bad thing to be.  Jeezus, all the hard-asses declining to flame on this has turned me into an old pussy, too!  Oh, well...

I won't flame you. To each his own. I still will tell you to be careful.

ditto

I always thought that it was "I have fallen for a provider and I can't get IT up".  For the record, that never made sense either because all I need is a stiff breeze.  Hell, I caught wood watching the Biggest Loser last night over some 350 pound chick.  Well, I was thinking about a friend that's trying to lose 6 pounds at the time, so perhaps my brain confused the two.  Either that, or I'm more fucked up than any of us knew.

I've helped a lady here and there. Didn't want, nor expect anything in return. Even had one or two tell me they loved me, and I reciprocated the sentiment.

Funny thing is, some of these 'men' will tell you they never would. On either aspect. That's all well and fine.

If I can, I will. On both instances. Does this make me a 'mangina'? I don't give a fuck.

All I care about in this thing is when it's all said and done, I can look back and smile knowing I had a damn good time and met some damn cool people. Some I've came to love in my own way.

So, don't let any of these fucking assholes try to make you feel you're less of a 'man' because you helped someone you care about. Even if she is/was a provider. She's a person, just like you and I and should be treated as such.

I was going to send this to you in PM, but I thought it would be better to do this. You had the balls to post the thread, the least I could do is show my support in the same fashion.

Peace.

I generally agree, we are all human beings and you can develop genuine feelings for a woman you've shared an intimate encounter with because we are all capable of it...but, let's face it, it is P4P, I've met some really beautiful women in this hobby, but then again, Providers are wonderful actresses, great marketers, and highly adept at catering to men's fantasies as long as there is a financial incentive.  

How can you ever genuinely know whether you are a means to end?  Or, whether they're playing to our natural tendency to be a caregiver for their own financial enhancement...maybe I'm just too cynical.

I am going help her leave this business and get her kid back when she gets out of jail this month. Even though she is very skilled in the bedroom I hope to never have an opportunity to see her that way again. Yes, I too love my former ATF, but as a person and a friend, but not like I love my wife as a lover. If this makes me a Mangina so be it. I do agree with the point of your thread.

If LP gets off on fat chicks good for him. Fat people need love to.

ditto the other remarks, falling in love with someone and loving someone are 2 completely different things. but karma points for you for loving your fellow human being enough to offer a helping hand

I've 'fallen in love' with three providers.  Going in to these meetings,  the home relationship includes a vow I made that cannot be overridden (and not the marriage vow).  So the 'love' relationship can go no further than our periodic meetings. So, for me, I can be 'in love', keep the relationship purely physical + the feeling of knowing what floats our mutual boats.  Then it ends, and I know that several providers down the line, a new relationship may occur. Most things in life move from one place to the next...I enjoy the journey.

Or maybe I'm good at compartmentalizing and all the above is just bs.

She is in jail because she got busted one too many times for prostitution. Because her ex is a piece of shit and abused his child and she was a repeat offender and was sentenced to jail child protective services removed her child from her custody and placed her in my wife's and mine care until she stabilizes her life. I already got her a good family law lawyer. I plan on renting her an apartment that I own and giving her a job at my business the day she is released. The rest is up to her. All I ask is she takes the way out I am offering, and raises her daughter to the best of her ability.

She is more than a a provider to me and my wife, she is a close family friend. Our families know each other. In truth she is even better friends with my wife than with me. So why does any of this put me in the hobby hall of shame? I am not in love with her. I am not thinking of leaving my wife for her, or anything else that guys do to ruin their lives because they have fallen and can't get up. Yes, I do care for her but that is as far as it goes. I care for lots of people.

Unconditional Love

And it's just beautiful, chexman...

Thanks for sharing, you made my day

xxx
Jinni

This idea that you can only love one person is utter BS grounded in a social norm that runs contrary to biology. Further, the association of "love" with only infatuation seriously abridges the meaning of the term. Love can take many forms, and manifest in different ways.

One area where people often run afoul is in the belief that love -- an emotion -- begets automatic obligation -- a contract. It does not. Furthermore, it is also not synonymous with possession.

Just sayin'.

S, let the shit talkers choke in their own shit!

I do not think you are too cynical. You have to trust your instincts to see who is real and who is acting. You will be disappointed from time to time, but what is life without some risk? I have enjoyed the company of many providers and they were all great fun, so even the rare disappointment is eased by all the fun! Yes, we have to be careful with our hearts and try to keep our "big head" in the game.  But to be so careful as to eliminate emotion completely is just not an option for me.

Just because some fatty needs love doesn't mean I'm going to be the giver.  I've actually had conversation with my lawyer about putting a weight gain clause into a pre-nup.  Something like "I don't care if you get fat, but I'm not going to be here and since you've spent all that money on food, you aren't getting another cent".  Those that know me, know that I'm not kidding, even a little.

I have not posted in a while but the timing on your post compels me to reply to your post.

Today is my ATF’s birthday.  She has been my friend for a decade and I have loved her for most those years—a situation that will never go beyond that for several reasons.  We went to dinner tonight and talked about just this topic.  She was there for me when I was ill and when I was disillusioned.  I was the shoulder she cried on when the man she did love died.  We have confided hopes and fears and secrets in each other we would never confide in any others.  I have given her more financial help than I have ever given to escorts, and though she promises—and believes—she will repay every cent, I knew when I gave it to her she never could.

So many of the ladies who work in this little corner of the world are amazingly witty, enticing, fascinating people.  They appeal to multiple aspects of a man and it is no wonder we become attracted to some of them beyond the obvious erotic attractions.  Is that not what many of us treasure about this fantasy world?

I salute you my friend.  You have been very fortunate, and so has she.

It's heartwarming, really.
Just keep patting each other on the ass for our amusement.

finacial means to do so.  Sometimes there are other ways to help besides the financial assistance.  The gal now knows someone really cares about her.  Sometimes you go with your gut feal.

Congrats for posting under your handle rather than hiding behind an alias.

Tell me, with the exception of KeyStoneKid, do all ya all's REALLY hold each other's dicks when you piss? I mean, you share the same brain. Figured you shared other shit, too.

Yeah, I heard some shit.