Nine of us common working girls were all talking about the many favorite clients that we spend our time with. Most of them are older, comfortable or even better, wealthy gentlemen with healthy families and home lives that might be considered picture-book-perfect by so many.

It would be a damn shame to interrupt that near perfect lifestyle.

These gentlemen hold powerful jobs, make great money, are rewarded with bonuses and stock options that rival the common mans yearly salary. Their golden parachute retirement programs as they call them, are second to none.

All us girls laughed about the possibility of what it might be like if one of us suddenly became genetically linked to one of them by way of a pregnancy.

It seems that my closest and dearest friend Tara had just seen the movie " Bad Teacher " and said that it was mentioned in the movie that a hooker could save the used condom, if handled properly, of any client and use the cum to become pregnant.

Have any of you smart guys ever given any thought to the DNA that you leave behind for us to dispose of ?

One look at it and no one would want to bring another me into this world.

Jackass!

with your wallet and ID for us to find while you use the bathroom.

I have personally taken a spare room key from an appointment down to the front desk and asked for a spare giving them the key and the room number and asking them for an extra. They graciously made me a spare and put it into a cardboard sleeve along with your name and room number.

Were you ever missing a key Icky ?

There is a vast majority of you dimwits who agreeably give us your name, employer and any other personal info that we request. We then have access to Spokeo in order to find the true fun facts on any of you.

if the guy is that powerful & rich, he will probably just have you destroyed!

With my cell phone I have taken a picture of some of you dopes and you let me.

I then run your photo through a Verizon Droid App somewhat like Tineye. Your photo directs me to your Spokeo, Facebook, Tweet, MySpace and any other Social network program out there with a wealth of information available to us working girls.

No one is getting destroyed here. However, Mr. money-bags may have to change a few habits and get use to a diet of Ramon noodles when Mrs money-bags finds out.

Don't underestimate some of the smart guys here.  

Some of us smart guys have thought of those things you smart ladies joke around about. Unfortunately, there really are psychos out there and some of you ladies may actually carry out that very act you joke about (or other variations of it) which is why I hobby under a completely different identity. Untraceable.  
 
Do whatever you wish with my DNA, get yourself pregnant, clone a copy of me, but you'll never find out who I really am in real life even if you can guess my username.

Also, taking pictures of clients is a no no. As far as I know, tineye or spokeo will have trouble matching grainy photos from different angles. You obviously are not technically skilled if you aren't aware of that fact.

Also, you are subjecting yourself to being placed on a blacklist for such actions if you aren't aware of it already.

This prompts me to take even more drastic measures from all you psychos.

Going through a client's wallet? ID?
Calling us DIMWITS for giving you name, employer info?  That's very insulting.

Too bad I don't carry either of those into the room unless it's a trusted ATF.

Also, did I mention I hobby under a different name?
You can go through my wallet all you want while I'm in the bathroom, but all you will find is the other identity... not my true identity.

Try outsmarting that, Astuteprostitute.

You're assuming he will use reason. Don't!

But, you're probably a guy anyway! Do you really worry about such stuff?

mods would not have let a guy post this shit pretending to be a provider...

Just my guess but I really think the OP is a lady.

Have to remember that one mod is always drunk and the other mod, I've offered to contribute $20 to the "get him laid" fund. lol

I'm smart enough to always ask for snowballs.

First of all, how do you know I'm rich?  Maybe I am, or maybe you just believed my bullshit.  And what information do you have about "me?"  Let's see...you have my burn phone #, my anonymous e-mail address that can't be linked to the real "me" or even discovered by my SO.  You have my TER handle.  That's it.  So you'd have to be super-sleuth to find out who I actually am and go after me.  And once you'd tried it you'd also have "outed" yourself to the entire community, thus torpedoing your business.  And to gain what?  Can you spell nada?
PS:  I have a very low sperm count, so good luck with that pregnancy.
PPS: Most of the time I don't come inside a condom, so better be prepared to scrape it off the sheets, or various parts of your body pretty damn quick!
PPPS:  I think you need to re-think your retirement strategy.  LOL!

-- Modified on 7/10/2011 7:59:54 PM

-- Modified on 7/10/2011 8:00:38 PM

Go ahead and have fun with my sperm!

Oh, did I fail to mention some of my children ride the short bus to school?

LOL - Karma is a BITCH!

no, not so much :-/  I would hope that no one would put a child though it, but I guess there are enough women who feel that children are little more than an economic commodity anyway.  Hopefully, you and your girls are not such women, AP.

This is what some girls contemplate when their not chatting about how handsome you are and how your cock drives them crazy everytime you bring over the Benjamins.

"Nine of us common working girls..."

"All us girls laughed..."

I mean really? Who the hell communicates like this?

But seriously, no provider would ever post something like this. First of all, the information you give me is to ensure my safety...why would a lady post this and possibly compromise their safety if some asshat decides to believe your crap?

It looks like you, dude, saw the movie and couldn't be a man about asking the damn question under your real (fake) handle.

I cant speak for all ladies, but I have a friggin life. Getting pregnant by some random guy in hopes that he's rich and will fold under pressure (instead of send someone to have me commit suicide) is ridiculous!

If I were going to do what you imply here I'd just hang out at the local yacht or country club and wait for a victim.

Plus...my clients watch me flush their would-be children.

xox
Colette

I don't carry a "room key."  I have never (and will never) do an outcall in my hotel room, so there's no room key to steal.  Nor do I leave my wallet lying around.  It isn't in my pants; it's in the glove compartment of my car.  So is my Rolex.  But I am sorry for the "dimwits" who do business with you. If you've really taken someone's room key to the front desk I'm glad you're at least smart enough to use an alias.  And if you can live with yourself after snooping into someone's identity, that's sad.  Have a nice life.  But you should probably come up with a better retirement plan.
PS: "Icky" has been done.  By someone smarter than you.  And it wasn't even his best effort.

True, but in my case "Mrs money-bags" already knows.  And it's Ramen noodles.  Sorry if you have to eat them.  I wouldn't, even if you were holding my room key hostage!  Perhaps you should raise your rates.  Perhaps that's not an option for you? LOL!

You were so close to that damn donkey you just THOUGHT you were the donkey.  But I was there and I have pictures that prove you were catching, not pitching.

I wondered if it was really a guy, but it was too much fun flaming back.  But you are right, it's hard to imagine any of the women I've been with thinking like this, let alone behaving like this.  And the poster above is right, this alias is begging to be flipped.

Frankly Colette I am surprised it took this long for someone to "out this guy".

But the question HE raised is indeed one that many guys have considered.  And some of the responses to the question are decent replies for many of us.  

It sure would seem much easier if a gal knew in advance that Johnny was that CEO with mega-bucks..just go BBFS with him and avoid the high cost of trying to maintain the integrity of a deposit left in a condom.  And given the chatter on BBFS over the years, I am afraid this happens all too frequently.  But perhaps Johnny has been snipped and doesn't care (outside of the STD risks).

But Astute_Prostitute should read some more of Cosmo and learn how to write more like a "woman" would write.  And then come back and try this one again

The real tell that this is a guy is that HE is suggesting a provider would insert someone's untested bodily fluid into her body.  Would a lady really risk disease on the chance that she might get pregnant in order to set up the further chance that she may profit from the situation?

If it's proposed that a fertility clinic be used to test and then perform the procedure...that's not cheap.  A significant investment for a less than sure payoff.

Or the OP may be an unbalanced chick who may not fully comprehend that the reason some of us men got to where we are is based on our innate (and profitable) ability to make problems go away.

all you need is a leagel name and you can find out all kinds of shit.
Best to have no on line presence.

and not a very clever one either.

I and my half-dozen provider BFFs are all giggling at your post right now.


HalfHour

Oh pleazzze.... no REAL provider would ever think like this. For what purpose?? Real women do NOT have children to get a child support check. AND, if they were to accomplish this, & get child support, guess what.. the now father, can sue for custody.. & heaven forbid you make more than him, & he sues YOU for child support... wouldn't that be a hoot! Yea, pretty sure the OP is a man. And if you ARE seeing a provider that you think might consider something this petty, then maybe you should reconsider who you're seeing,

Well...if a guy does BBFS then he deserves whatever he gets.

But, lets be honest here...I make $400/hr. I do pretty well for myself, and I'm only in the mid range. Many ladies here make much more than I do...some make less. Even an agency girl will hit six figures. To think that a lady is willing to put that income on hold to carry a child to term, and then turn around and deal with the drama of trying to extort someone is beyond absurd.

The ladies that are here have already made the decision that they're not interested in popping out kids for cash.

I mean really...how full of yourself can one be to think that a lady wants to be connected to you for 18+ years?

xox
Colette

Do you really think the mods are that sane?  They are as sick as the rest of us, and, when they think things are getting too boring, they'll let some shit happen just to make things interesting.  As long as the most important rules don't get violated.  I mean, really, what was the harm caused here?  A troll put up a post and we had fun jumping on it.  So what?

You mean you were the other idiot who kicked in $20?  No wonder we could only afford that old zeppelin to take LP to Tijuana.

I stay off the boards for a few hours to get some shit done and look what happens.

If nothing else the OP has gotten you to admit that you are a liar that is hiding behind multiple aliases as well. Of course you are doing from behind the safety of an alias as well. Would you like me to flip your alias as well?  Any of this pot calling the kettle black stuff getting through to you yet?

and I bet you are smart enough to have inferred my answer about "flipping the alias" Not a fucking chance. lmao

I'm just letting the OP know that her shit won't work on some of us and it's precisely the reason why I do what I do... some providers don't know when to quit digging client's info.

No need to point fingers at me. I had LE riding on my back more than several times. LE activity in my area is far more intense compared to most other metropolitan areas. To make matters worse, they try to package it in a one size fits all crime called 'human trafficking'. Conviction is another matter but who wants to get entangled in that?

If that wasn't enough, many of these ladies are really careless about our personal info and don't do much to protect it on any of their devices. If I hadn't taken drastic measures, LE would have had my real information.

However, now I'm not so sure any more if the OP is a guy or a girl. First I thought it was a girl but then like inicky46 said, maybe it's just one of you mods letting some dude play a prank. LOL

Well, don't get uppity, LP, or I'll tell them about your role in the Donkey Show.

I suppose a lot of providers would like to know who you are after you admitted to lying to THEM on a regular basis. After from their POV, it's their very lives at stake. For you, it's only a couple of bucks.

Not that I agree with that statement, but from their POV, they have a pretty good case for flpping your alias instead. just sayin.......


The long and the short of it is, no one's alias is getting flipped on this thread, not the OP's and not yours. So get over it.

I have no comments, hints, or clues to the gender of the OP. You all are free to speculate of course.

I played the role of the donkey.  Lots of ladies came up and had their pictures taken and a few lucky ones got to fuck the donkey.

Now if there would just be a fourth Shrek, I could parlay my donkey skills into some real cash, instead of just boning some drunken touristas.

"shelf life" outside of the human body.

For your proposed plan to work, you'd have to inseminate yourself relatively soon with the sperm upon its ejaculation from the guy.

Even then, the odds aren't very good unless you found a way to inject it deep within the vagina with sufficient force as to aid their journey to the Fallopian tubes.

To be someone they are not.

But, you don’t have to be particularly ‘astute’, or do much speculation to figure out that the OP is not a woman, much less a provider. It was obvious in the first sentence of the post.

Sad part is there will inevitably be a few dolts who internalize this horseshit as reality. And what they will walk away with is the belief that providers actually do sit around planning this kind ridiculous nonsense.

And then, they will use this “knowledge” to justify why they should never provide screening info…or why they are completely right to lie about their identities.

This is trick used by some women to get a guy.  They get ahold of the used condom, empty the the contents left behind.  Then they insert the "solution" into the relevant receptical (vagina) hoping to become pregnant. Some do.
A great counter measure for such a devious trick would be to to place something with spermicide mixed with a good, a very very good dose of hot hot hot tobasco sauce or concentrated oc pepper spray into the condom and mix it up. (The one made to repel an attackijng Grizzly bear would be best).
He would really spoil her day as the hears the dispicible women's screems whlile in the throws of agony as she runs out of the house with her firey couche looking like the exhaust from an F/A 18 at full power and full afterbuners. Then, she truthfully say in her ad, she has the hottest couche in town.
This actually happened.  The woman sued the man for any injuries and pain ahd suffering.
Verdict:  For the defense (she lost)  Rational too long to explain
WARNING: DO NOT DO ANYTHING SUCH AS THIS AS IT WOULD BE WRONG AND COULD CAUSE INJURY.    SEEK A PROFESSIONAL'S ADVICE AND LET HIM DO IT.

well, you pretty much gave away the answer. lmao...

I always, always flush it down the toilet myself. Not because of your scenario but just to get rid of it in general. Maybe this is what happened to Arnold Schwarzenegger?