So lets start with a little bit about me...

EOM.

So I'm only 26, and you seem fianancially better than me as of right now.  If you can afford it then that's great and all, but just wasting at least 1k every week is just too much for me.  Then again if you can afford this, then by all means let the good times roll.

make you a sex addict.  

So a young, educated (or close to it) single dude that can (apparently) afford "great steaks" and hookers is here wasting money on hookers?

As a qualified shrink I'd classify something as an addiction if you literally can't function a day without caving to your drug of choice - like the person who starts with a glass of wine now and then after work and eventually reaches the point where it's the first thing they do at 6pm every day and they can't go a day without a break. It doesn't sound like you've reached addiction point yet but you might want to slow down and find a replacement for stress - heavy exercise? Minus the lady?

...many of us don't believe that "sex addict" is a real and quantifiable term. However, it can still be a problem if you feel it's one. In fact, I'd say that the only way it CAN be a problem is if you feel it's one.

All I have to say is I love my job  
Does that make me a sex addict? lol ....

Maybe I am a sex addict after all

as for saving my load up for two weeks, you can kindly "go fuck yourself" Two days is one thing, two fucking weeks, NFW!!!

maybe an addiction to good money?  

Just like me. I have done the every other day appointment thing but after a while you burn out and have to take a break for a week or 2 then get back into it. The best to thing to do is not look at the ads if you want to break your addiction. I feel sorry for you starting at such a young age. It did not start hobbying until I was 38 years old.

-- Modified on 3/24/2014 11:41:17 PM

I have a loving wife and kids who I would be sure to lose if the wife ever found out about my "hobbying".  Yet I can't stop.  I seek it out every month or so like clockwork.  I skim the money off my weekly expenses so she doesn't find out.  It's been going on since I was 18.  I'm 45 now.  I could never afford it yet I can't do without it.  I've only had 2 real relationships in my life, the first lasted just under a year and now my marriage for a decade and a half (of sneaking).  In all that time I held off the hobby for only the first 2 years or so.  Considering I can't afford it and have limited time I mostly have ended up with BP gals who are admittedly not of the highest caliber, but it scratches the itch.  I have spent entire afternoons ( I am off work on Fridays, hence the name) while the SO is at work searching the net for tail.  I've tried AM as well as other dating sites but I always come back to pay for play.  Am I an addict?  Sometimes I think so.  Your question made me question myself.

(1) excessive time is consumed by sexual fantasies and urges, and by planning for and engaging in sexual behavior  
 
(2) repetitively engaging in these sexual fantasies, urges, and behavior in response to dysphoric mood states (e.g., anxiety, depression, boredom, irritability)  
 
(3) repetitively engaging in sexual fantasies, urges, and behavior in response to stressful life events  
 
(4) repetitive but unsuccessful efforts to control or significantly reduce these sexual fantasies, urges, and behavior  
 
(5) repetitively engaging in sexual behavior while disregarding the risk for physical or emotional harm to self or others

Were I in your situation (wife, kids, steady job, limited income) I'd SERIOUSLY consider quitting the hobby all together. I don't think there's anything "wrong" with you (like addiction per se) or anything unusual. Everyone on this board enjoys the hobby lifestyle. You seem to indulge sparingly, but I'm guessing it's on your mind a lot. Not just thinking about sex like every time a short skirt walks by, but you think a lot about P4P. And probably you a bit of a thrill out of the sneaking around and daring fate with the risk of getting caught.

I haven't been into the "hobby" for that long.. only started about 6 months ago at the age of 64.. but once I started.. I went a little nuts..seeing someone 2-3 times a week.. now I have backed off to about once a week with ATF's and have stopped the random calls.  
Married for over 40 years, the last 14 or so have been completley absent of any physical contact.. talking with a lifelong golf buddy.. (we were roomates back in the late 60's and actually shared girls back then in some very memorable group activities).. I said to him.. Jeeezz..I wish I could slow down a bit and see like one high quality girl a month.... he said.. "Huh? You went decades, without getting laid.. and now you can't go more than a week?"  You have a problem... He is divorce broke and has serious health issues as a result of a lot of hard living..  He can barely afford coffee.. but loves to hear general stuff.. about my current activities.. vicarious thrills..

Non-addicted people are all non-addicted in the same way, but addicted people are each addicted in their own special way.

And so it is with the hobby.

A useful definition of addiction is whether or not the activity in question, sex in this case, causes problems for the subject in terms of living the life they want to live.

Obviously it is never a black or white situation, but involves many shades of gray, among other nuances.

I know in my case, if I had the money I spent on the hobby now, I'd not have some financial worries that are started to mount as I grow older; but on the other hand, would I have had as interesting and enjoyable life?

These are the mysteries of life that are never as clear as we'd like them to be.

is much appreciated and shows that you are a good guy to give such good advice.

...when I spoke of limited income. I should have said, limited cash for the hobby fund.

It's not your d*ck that is the problem... it's your MIND and the thoughts you allow to bombard it. It's also about selfishness... sorry, but that's just the cold hard truth. You are chasing tail for no one other than yourself. Try getting your mind off of yourself and onto someone else that has even bigger problems. and see if that does not help. I once had a man tell me the way he overcame his sexual urges was how he started changing the way he viewed women. Instead of always looking at them in parts and dreaming about fkin them, he started looking at them as he would his own daughter... with empathy and adoration, rather than lust.  

That's more like admitting there was shame over feeling lust. Addictions don't HAVE to be ended to be dealt with them, they just have to be managed.

I am describing how one man got over his own addiction, and the fact that it worked. And, you're wrong that if a guy regards women in general as human beings rather than ONLY objects of lust, he will not be better off. That's psychologically proven. Sure, you can have ALL of those emotions at once, but we are not talking about women a guy cares about... we are talking women on the street who he does not see as anything but something to fk. True addicts know what I am talking about, and there is no empathy in that thought process whatsoever at the time their mind is being bombarded with nothing but sexual thoughts.  

-- Modified on 3/25/2014 6:08:49 AM

Nice story , addiction and sex addition hummmm sex I like it

I laugh and agree about thinking" that. I was thinking the same of my self . I read up on it . Scare my self. I love sex but it was mostly only with one particular person and I loved his voice his touch his breathing . Lol oral sex was so amazing I could cry.  Play with my self often thinking of our moments together. Airplane travel became hard to make with out making a bathroom stop lol.  
  One thing was I hardly could remember anything about him other then our sexual moments together! Lol if you ask me what he like to have for dinner or his Favorit color or anything like that I would chock! After a year I hardly could spell his last name.  
 Delusional dreamy hot crazy . I think it was a addiction and I love ever second lol.
What do you all think.

You CAN quit... you simply don't want to, and because of that resistance your mind has convinced YOU that you can't do something vs. you convincing it that you can. Geez.  If God or whomever you call to, came down tomorrow and said you have two choices: 1. You can keep having sex with hookers and I will take your family, your job, and your home, or 2. You can keep all of that and never have sex again with hookers... what would you choose? Chew on that a bit before you claim you 'can't' do something. Faced with the right pair of options, you damn well could.  


-- Modified on 3/25/2014 9:33:51 AM

I agree with Cosette.

Really.

-- Modified on 3/25/2014 7:02:00 AM

People who do nothing but focus on themselves and their so called 'needs' are weak and selfish... period, end of story, no debate.

Focus on others in the healthiest manner.

but yes I do have at least the urge to fuck every hot woman that I see, no matter who she is or where I am. Does that make me a bad person, or does that just make me a man with a normal to high sex drive? Now I am not talking about ACTING on those urges, I am simply talking about having them.

The very first thing I am going to notice about a woman is her appearance, and if she is hot, lil gambler is going to notice as well. This has nothing to do with morality, it's biology, men are just wired that way. It's what we do about these urges that make us "civilized" trying to rewire nature never works out well, and trying to guilt men into denying that their urges even exist, or that they are not normal is more a job for the Catholic Church, not a hooker (excuse me, former hooker) on a fuck board.

It's not often that I side with Cosette against you, but in this case you are absolutely wrong. I am glad to see you here though))

Addictions. It's also the root of many character problems. One I see a lot is constant judging and pointing of fingers.  

Being obsessed and absorbed with self to the point it blinds one of other people's feelings, is not healthy anything though. Can a mother truly focus on her child if she's out looking for a new boyfriend all day, including ones who might even abuse her child? I've heard that story over and over again at what some women will do for temporary affection, and it's quite pathetic anyone is that insecure and needy.  

First, the time flies by. Well, it flies by when screwing too, but... This is... Free.

We are not talking about people who quit addictions and then force others to do so... we are talking about the BULLSHIT excuses some use for their reasoning, none of which make a damn bit of sense. Lack of self control is both selfish and weak.. look it up. That's not a judgment, it's a fact. Sorry if the truth hurts.  

You can't debate them. Well you can, but it's futile because you are only trying to change the definitions into what suits you. You said it yourself if your wife found out, you would lose everything... still has not made you stop, has it? Nuff said.

a life support system for a vagina. I thought everybody knew that. And I AM JUST JOKING!!!

Thoughts move to actions, and as we entertain thoughts, we will eventually act.

I never said every impulse is good, or safe, or smart.  I never held myself up as a paragon or pillar of the community.  I care about my family enough to support them and make them come first in my life. Perhaps I AM weak and selfish to want my cock sucked more than once in a while, or to want to have sex with a girl 10-15 yrs younger than me who weighs less than I do.  I'm OK with that.  My hobbying is a walled off part of my life that for many years has not affected my family and hopefully never will.  I won't lie, its scary sometimes to think of what's out there and the possible consequences, but there it is.  I love em too much to leave em and miss too much to have JUST them. I want my cake and eat it too.  If anyone doesn't like it, too bad.

No one is talking about 'the hobby.' I am talking about addictions in general and you don't have to see escorts to be a sex addict. I am also not preaching to quit the hobby... I am talking about managing addictions, some of which have nothing to do with sex. Was I totally happy living this lifestyle? No, because it's not and never was who I am. There were far too many more important things in life that needed to be dealt with, that I could no longer do spreading my legs.  

You just admitted many things in your post, none of which are judgments, but facts.  

But I'm bored with the subject, so I guess I'm out lol

...is necessary for survival. If you don't make judgments about people, you can't decide how you're going to relate to or deal with their actions.

No offense taken.  Like I said, I appreciate where the sentiment was coming from.  As for minor accidents... Well if no one was hurt, I give the incall money to the other driver to pay for the damage and.. Hey honey... You'll never guess what happened to the car in the supermarket parking lot!  There are ways to get around most things.  Hey, it's a risk.  Playing the game you can win, or lose, I'm hoping to just break even.

Amen

If someone said I was weak because I am addicted to cigarettes, I would have to agree that I am weak in that area.  I see no cause for justifying it to feel better about myself.  

thinking the movie you are about to watch is "Breaking Out, The Ultimate Escape" instead it's a documentary entitled "Electric Chair, A Swift Killing Machine!

"I did not need attention, fake affection, or approval like many others seem to draw from sex and the hobby... I just needed the money, since you asked."

But no, I have zero respect for wanton, needy women who are deluded. Psst... I did not say 'it' was pathetic. You did.  

All I said was that if need be, all of us have the ability to control thoughts that eventually lead us to doing things that might hurt the ones we love or ourselves... sex is just a part of that for some. If I am on a diet and all I think about is food, do you not concede that eventually meditating on those thoughts will lead me right to the kitchen? Well, the same goes for any other type of addiction or something you are trying to give up. If you don't want to give up those things, no shame in that, but if you truly are considering it, there are things you can do to make your mind work for you, not against you. Well, strong willed people can, I should say.