I did have a scare in Panama a few years back.  

I got REALLY drunk one Sunday. A buddy of mine and me started off the day buying four bottles of Champagne for breakfast before football. It tasted so good we bought another four bottles and the rest of the day/night are rather fuzzy from there. I do vaguely recall drinking tequila with some Colombianas later in the evening, but it's kind of a blur.

Fast forward to the next morning, I woke up not even knowing what country I was in as all hotels start looking alike after a while and this hotel had very American looking rooms, AAR I finally started getting my bearings and started to vaguely recall the events from the day before when I noticed there was someone in the bed with me completely under the covers so I could only see a lump. I thought to myself "Oh my fucking God, What did I drag home with me last night?"  I worked up my nerve to peek under the covers to find this gorgeous Colombiana who immediately started snuggling up tight to me. What a fucking relief. She was so hot I kept her with me for another full day and night.

To make my day even better, when I checked my computer I found that I had loaded up betting on the late afternoon football games and had gone from being stuck about four grand on the early games to making about a four thousand dollar gain. Some days it really does pay to wake up in the morning. lol

but yes, I have had my morning start MUCH MUCH differently as well. lol

Your post made perfect sense to me the first time I read it. I believe you're correct, it should be lay.

To keep it simple, maybe we should just change it to "literally like fucking a couch."