Topic of discussion:  Does the Hobby damage or support your "real-time" relationship?

As a provider, I have come to the realization that most people who see me not only have a SO, but generally they speak of this person with high regard...just not about the time they spend with them in bed.  They are an excellent mother, partner, friend...they are still in love with this person 10, 15, 25 years later.  But for one reason or another, the bed has gone stale or cold altogether.  Without judgements, I have come to to the following belief:  I have saved more relationships - far more - than I have ever damaged by my relationships with my clients.

We don't marry for sex alone and sex alone cannot hold a relationship together, yet sex, and sex alone, can rip it apart.  Without a detailed analysis of sociological influences versus basic biology, men seem to need a sexual outlet more than women do.  Sublimation into family, lower libedo, less in touch with their own bodies...pick your reason.  But the fact remains that A 45 year old woman who is getting sex twice a month or less is *more likely* to be satified with the arraingement than her 45 year old husband. Not always, but mostly.  And certainly considerably less likely to look for outside relief if she isn't happy about it.  And a 45 year old man is more likely to leave his wife over the 25 year old secretary if sex isn't good, even while he is saying the wife is his best friend and everything else is at least "good."

So my premise is:  Having access to a resource that is not a threat to the basic relationship between husband and wife - in other words, not an emotional relationship - actually relieves some pressure from that basic relationship, leaving the husband more open to appreciate what he does have, and allows him to *not* fixate on the small portion that represents what he *doesn't* have.

So - am I fooling myself and you are all just simply soo horny that you just can't stand it?  LOL!

Peace

Amy

The hobby is a superior way to work out any frustration the married middle aged man has with the frequency or variety of sex, at least as compared to having an affair.  And Amy is dead on right that one can be very much in love with one's wife for all of the non-sexual aspects of the marriage, and the hobby accomodates the problem at least in the short run.

We'll have to reserve judgment on the long run.

Sex is very important, particularly for a man. As the natural pursuers of propagation, the sexual instinct has nothing to do with emotion, commitment faithfulness or dedication and everything to do with pure biology.

Even within a loving, perhaps once passionate relationship, sex is not always a possibility or even a virtual probability for any number of psychological, social or biological reasons. It’s not likely, however that a marriage relationship can withstand the absence of sex from the perspective of most men.

There’s no question that the services of these fine professional companions has provided that vital release without threatening the balance of an otherwise quality home life.

Naturally, it can be disastrous for the marriage of a man who’s wife believes that he should have sex only with her on very rare occasions or not at all, should he be discovered. But I think many men who try to live without sex often find themselves in affairs that are far more damaging because of the emotional investment or social involvement of the mistress. An affair offers far too much opportunity to be caught, because the girl knows so much about you and has access to your friends and family. An affair also requires a great deal more time and considerably more money to maintain.

In any case, a man has to take responsibility for his own decisions. I’m just thankful for all the wonderful ladies who offer such fabulous and personal services.

you pointed out that as long as the client and provider do not have an emotional relationship, there is no meaningful unfaithfulness.  

Yet some clients want a GFE.  I'm still exactly sure what they mean by that, but if it means emotional involvement, it's not what I want.  I want pure sensual enjoyment.

I know everyone has a laundry list of what GFE "means" and it often is a list of acts, not attitudes.  But that is where they miss in my opinon.

GFE is an experience where you feel that you were open to each other and the chemistry that you can create.  GFE is someone who is glad to see *you*, not your money.  GFE is someone who is able to find true enjoyment in her interaction with you and can express it.  It is emotions, but not emotionality.  If I am a GFE provider, that openess does not eliminate the fact that I am a provider.  Neither of us are looking for more than the time we spend together.  But that time can be enhanced by that openess.

I have always prefered the term coutesan to GFE because the term describes a type of person who does a specific job.  GFE is dangerous territory since most clients don't want a girlfriend...

Peace

Amy

You hit the preverbial nail on the head! My girlfriend and I are not married because of sex mostly everything else is good atleast but sex. And that has caused a lot more problems I always have affairs a get caught but she has no definative evidence (well I've never been caught in the act) I think providers help a great deal as long as I am having asex with another women our relationship is good if not I am constantly uptight and very frequently in a bad mood or have a short temper which is not good because she naturally ha a short temper. Anyway providers provide a great and needed service it should be legal.
Bluv.

I'm quite curious why you would pursue a relationship without sex, or with very poor or infrequent sex right from the beginning?

I can understand  a once passionate relationship growing cold, but having a fledging relationship without a quality sexual component seem ridiculous. Instead of cheating on her endlessly, why don't you dump her and get a real girlfriend?

rik