I kind of know the answer but asking anyway to double check my instinct.  Have known her for about two years - all sessions have been fun - sometimes we hang out for awhile afterwards - go grab a casual meal - genuinely friendly with mutual boundaries - over time she opened up more about her life - usual blend of juggling men - living with a big secret  - but basically an irresponsible girl who likes to travel and have nice things and cant be bothered to hold down a real job or find a real place to live.    So she goes on a trip - then i get an email - panicked - she is in another state visiting her sister who is in need of an organ transplant - can only happen if she can scratch together quick funds - can i loan her about 3.5 sessions worth of cash.    I am pretty disappointed to be put in the situation since being asked basically is a relationship-ending question.    Saying yes sucks, as does turning down such a high stakes plea for help.    

Most likely it's BS.  She can sell her stuff if needed to get the money.  However, on the low chance that it turns out to be true, my conscience says I should help if I have the means.  So, it comes down to your financial situation.  Are you ok with letting go of 3.5 session worth of money?  I know I'm not.  I'm not making 7 figures/year.

That is the real question.

When you see an escort it is no different than going to a stage show. When the show is over the players get on with their life. Other than paying for the session you don't owe her anything emotionally or financially.  

I've never once in my life "ever" regretted giving a woman a present. I've "always" regretted giving a woman a loan, every single time. So the answer is simple for me. If you can't "give" it to her, with no regrets or even strings attached, then don't.

Do you know how much transplant surgery costs? And all she wants is 3.5 sessions? How much is she charging you an hour? The one thing you have to remember is, that no matter how good a thing you've got going with a lady on TER, it's always going to end. She just ended your great thing. Time for you to confirm, by saying no.

If a dear trusted friend or family member needed $1k to have a medically necessary procedure done, i would not hesitate.  That would be a total no brainer.    As Im sure you would as well .   If the story was real.  Im just stuck because first if all I remain very doubtful that the story is real - and in the odd chance that she really does have such a crisis - she claims to own a home in her college town financed by family z - ie - plenty of easier pathways to emergency funds  -  hitting up a client is just plain inappropriate for this sort of thing.    

Yeah this is how i feel as well.   By asking, she ended our good thing.  I ended up asking her name of hospital and patient and that I would call to better understand why an amount of money that a consider would consider pocket change could affect a life saving procedure?   If then they told me they need a few thousand bucks to do whatever miracle - well then I would do what i could to help - as a gift not a loan - and would deal directly with hospital.     I guessing the chance that I ever hear from her again hovers close to zero.   I just posted here to see what others thought and if anybody knew a situation where a big life crisis turned out to be as advertised.    I only know the story where the big life crisis is totally fabricated by a girl too loaded to even ply her trade - either that or in company of a new boyfriend who wont let her and convinces her to weasel a parting gift from as many former clients as she can.   That story Ive seen before

... that wouldn't rack up a bill of AT LEAST $500,000. A few thousand dollars from her sister won't affect an insurance provider's decision to cover it or the benevolence of the hospital to perform it at little or no cost to the patient. You are right, this is a desperate attempt to play on your sympathies and good nature. I wouldn't blame you a bit if you felt that, because of the unselfish OTC time she shared with you,you felt OK with sending her some money. It would be a gift, of course, as hobby history shows us it's really rare for a provider to pay back loans to hobbyists.

Maybe she's already ahead of you in thinking about terminating the relationship.

She expects you to just take her at her word? Why would you do that? I wouldn't trust or believe anyone, unless I'm super duper close to that person. Even then I don't trust them! I believe...my mom. That's pretty much it. And although you two have shared a lot of good times and talks, that doesn't mean you are close...not like that

I am starting to think that your guess - that her email had been hacked - is indeed likely - maybe even the most likely possibility.  I know email hacking and the subsequent "help the stranded friend" fraud is not uncommon and occurs all the time  lately.    The writing in her messages was crude, somewhat vague. Bad grammar and spelling - most of all - given the girl i "know", this sort of outright scam just doesn't feel like something within her "range" of behavior.  

You know her family has the financial means... regardless under current laws/acts that the surgery would be paid for and done.... so anything beyond that is stupid. Say NO. It is a scam. S-C-A-M

Her email probably just got hacked, and she probably has no idea you ever received an email like this.  Here are so many people convinced that she is a conniving trickster out to swindle this guy for money, and really it's probably just SPAM that he's taking a little too seriously!  

Seems to me, the way I sense the premise of your post is either you're the one exaggerating here, you mentioned that you have already decided your response (NO) and by the nature of your explanation, you're trying to make yourself as the good guy. You've taken pride of how great you treated with each other in the past. Reason she came to you in CONFIDENCE she choose YOU, not a relative or others, whether her story is a fucking bull or fact, it's all up to you, but you have a pre-concieved agenda already that you're not willing to help her no matter, so WTF  why then, that you did not MANNED-UP and just let it go and respect the lady, instead exposing her in a public forum and trying to obtain more insulting unsubstantiated different fucking opinion from others, what to do if they are in your fucking shoes. You have already declined and rejected her request, what else are you fucking looking for? a high five, a good fucking job dude, a cheer, what?, fu## Move on and leave her alone man, you throw her under the bus already, the least you could have done is be gracious, just like a honest and true gentleman you claim you are, and just could have wish her all the luck in the world. But I guess you did not do that either, seems to me you want a hero parade, I might be wrong IMHO of you too...

I don't think the OP wanted a hero parade, a high five, a good fucking job dude, a cheer... because his FIRST line in the post was:

Why is this guy needs validation from everyone?
He started to badmouth the lady from the beginning called her irresponsible, can't be bothered to hold down a real job, or find a real place to live, this guy had a lot of nerve judging this lady from the very beginning, like he's better than her, added to that he doesn't really have no intention and willing to help her whether she's making everything up or not, then HE needs to clarify his fucking doubtful decision? WTF is that. And finally, BTW she contacted him thru a quote "panicked e-mail" the way I get it, she went to him first before going to anyone for help, expecting that maybe because of what HE described, that they have a good connection in the past, instead HE share his story to the public, rather than just keeping it to HIMSELF, because he needs a fucking VALIDATIONS of what a great decision he made not to help. WTF is that, nice guy...

Actually the decision I made before I posted was to ask for the name of the hospital and patient, after which I would arrange payment directly with the hospital.   I posted here because her request sounded so weird - I mean - last I checked nobody gets emergency liver transplants - you are put on a list and pray a donor is identified in time.   It's quite a long list, so I've heard.   I have no idea what order I was in here request for help - I'm assuming the family and close friends were ahead of me, a mere client, with such a personal request.  Finally, the amount she was looking for from me was so very small compared to the cost of this sort of thing - the whole thing just smelled weird - I posted here to see if others agree/disagree.  Do you disagree, do you think her request is possibly legitimate?   I'm willing to have that conversation.  That's why I posted in the first place.

I'm talking about RESPECT here, those other subject you are still trying to explain doesn't really matter now, it's too late. RESPECT is the one I'm trying to convey here. You completely disrespected this lady and you made yourself a good guy, and try to make everyone agree with you, you talked about that, it took her a while to open up her life to you, that means to me she finally made herself TRUST you and shared some of her life with you, whether it's perfect or not you don't have the fucking right to judge her, calling her all kinds of things in public, as I recall, she expects you to keep it between yourselves. It's so ridiculous to me that, seems that you have not done wrong here and still have a good intention, let me reminds you with your own words, calling someone irresponsible girl who likes to travel and have nice things and can't be bothered to hold down a real job or find a real place to live, juggling men, living with a big secret, etc, etc, is so fucking insulting and maybe you don't even have justification for that, but anyway, it's NOT your fucking business whatever she wants to do with her life. But you described her that way and judge her that YOU think that you are better than anyone around. You can say whatever you want  but , that's fu## up to me...

Still confused.  You are saying I was out of line posting my question?   I know I didn't point to her publicly.   My describing her as "irresponsible" is because the term describes her choices - I know she agrees because we laugh about that fact all the time - you seem pretty angered by something here - after four aggressive posts, you still haven't addressed the basic question I've put on table - is there a chance she is making a legit request here and does anything like this mirror your own life experience?   If you have anything to contribute along those lines, would love to discuss.  
 

This is the way I understand, you were trying to obtain information whether to help the lady or not in crisis, which you already decided NOT to help anyway. Then you went ahead and described her in publicy in a certain way that seems to me so unnecessary to mentioned, I don't know your point or premise by adding those characteristics of a lady that you're suppose to respect, you can laugh all you want but, that if I'm from the outside looking in, you are being disrespectful sharing all the things that most people keep it in private conversations, ei, juggling men, living in a big secret etc, etc, and on and on which you can't proved anything of it and just probably a part of mutual conversation, sounds like she's beneath you, then you want validation from everyone that you made the right decision, so you can feel good about yourself? That's the way I see it....

-- Modified on 4/9/2015 11:51:17 AM

Nah, have not heard a peep since I offered to help by dealing directly with the hospital.   Thank goodness.      Same sort of thing happened before, several years ago.   Was asked to help somebody financially as they needed to take an emergency flight to visit dying father - I offered and actually paid for a round trip airplane ticket in her name which she never used - i ended up refunding - never heard from her again.    She had asked me in public, personally, her bravely blinking back tears,  leading to big sobs, convincing distress.    Nothing like sitting with a girl not exactly our age, in public who is crying her eyes out, we just want her to just please stop, ok?    Doesn't matter what the reason - she could be confessing to us how she slept with all of our facebook friends, whatever - just please stop boohooing.    I mean everybody looks over and insta-thinks "wow what a supreme super villain that guy surely is ... Making that poor girl cry".  OMG so gross - anyway this really does feel totally fake, story is just too screwy.    Even still, we do hate saying NO nonetheless.  We can do it, but if the story is good, its very tough when faced with the "bravely blinking back tears" thing.    Thats like the worst.    

don't contact her for six months.  

horse shit

I feel that a provider should not ask for more money than what is agree-upon for sessions. The reason I feel this way is because providers are well-compensated. If we implement good marketing and behave professionally, we can make enough money to meet our needs. If we have a sudden need for more money, we can work more.

sorry been away, would have commented earlier