Penis Requests a Raise


I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for
the
following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
-----------
Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the administration
rejects
your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the
management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and
often
visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be
pressured
and stimulated in order to start working

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of
your shift

You don't always observe necessary safety
regulations,
such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts

You sometimes leave your allocated position before
you
have completed the day's work. And if that were not
all, you have been seen constantly entering and
leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking
bags.
Sincerely,
The Management