a message search will show an informative thread on this subject not long ago.

there's more to life than sex, and definately more than fucking, and the good portion of it should be about love.  In the past year I've been blessed to have had many instances with providers that involved more than fucking; now, what those moments meant or what was truly felt, well, is it necessary to go into detail?  I didn't catch the thread below, so I'll just summarize with "know thyself" as everything else in negotiatable.  And hopefully the one you fall in love with, knows her/himself.

Yes, but she didn't fall in love with me.  Instead she cleaned out my savings account and moved on. Sadly, I still miss her at times--she was special.


-- Modified on 11/17/2003 11:14:37 PM

I fell in love with a client. He fell in love with me. I am so fortunate to have a good man at my side who does not mind that I am an ASP and that I do films. What matters is that we care for each other in every way. I use to frown on such things as dateing a hobbiest/client. It is because I did not understand. Why limit yourself? This is no different than falling in love at the office for someone who feels the same for you.
ok ok maybe a little different. Being this is the adult entertainment industry I can see where this does not work more so than in any other industry. And we all know what issue that it.
As in any enviroment, it is always ok to love, to fall in love, but there is always the risk of loss, or the other not wanting or loving you back. In my case, the love is returned. Maybe I am the acception to the rule here.
I have seen several providors and hobbiests not have such success in love with each other cause the main issue being he wants to save her have her for his own, she wishes to continue her career.
Hope this opens some discussion up.
Be safe and have fun dooing it!
xoxo
Octavia of Denver

Everytime I see one.

And one even more than all.....

-- Modified on 11/16/2003 7:44:42 PM

It is seldom, if ever, reciprocated; except for the hour you're together.

Almost 3 years ago exactly, the sweetest, most beautiful girl/provider I've ever known was interested in being more than friends.  She was 22, worked out of an office building, wasn't full service, just a FBSM.  Unfortunately, at the time, I was in the middle of a suffocating relationship that was beyond difficult to dissolve and I never called her back.  She dropped off the radar soon after that.  Wish I could find her again.

One of my biggest regrets is letting that opportunity slip by.

Would'a.  Should'a.  Could'a.

Yep, about 9 years ago.  And it was mutual.  Lasted just over a year until I found out she was '420 friendly'.  Since I was a single dad at the time I gave her the choice - pot or me...she chose and it wasn't me.  Oh well, that's one I was better off without in the long run.

are about Hobbyists falling for their providers/ATFs.
Much has been said for and against it. It seems to be a losing proposition for the guy just as in "civilian" relationships except the guy gets more sex when it's within the hobby.

    Cm.

Sparker, you have had some pretty outstanding ladies. I would love to know which one of them turned your head. Please tell.

but again, you are making a statement that must be based on your own experience.

I got a hell of a lot more sex when I was in a relationship than I do in the hobby.  Admittedly, I am not a high roller, but even if I was, I can't imagine seeing someone several times a week.  I mean, there must be better ways to spend money if someone has that much.

maybe unlikely but..

-- Modified on 11/18/2003 8:03:50 AM

I agree with Sedona. "Never" is a very big word to use. It does happen from time to time.

I am good friends with a former provider who has recently fallen in love with one of her clients. She is young and new to this world of stability. I see her attempts and her willingness to show this man that she loves him. I know for a fact that she loves him. She expresses this to me daily. This gentleman is a hard working, compassionate, giving person. I see his need to want to protect and guide her. As far as I am concerened this is all fine. They both are very open minded and can talk freely. I don't see a selfish love such as some of the kinds of the love the others talk about. I don't see any kind of hussle on either part. I see two human beings in love. Imagine that?
I see two people who do not judge one another but love one another. This is not to say that they won't have problems. Hopefully they are big enough people to work through them, and not pass guilt or jugement on one another in the process.

I did find that I loved a provider.  Actually, I still do, but let's not digress.  

Love is something you DO, not something you fall into or out of.

You may find that sometimes love is given to you reciprocally, and sometimes not returned to you at all, and sometimes when you're least expecting it.  Make sure that what you are feeling is something positive and not because you can’t “Have” something or someone.  And, figure out if your ACTIONS are love.  Then, you’d better make sure where she is at with her feelings/actions.  Nothing like running down that road alone, only to discover it miles later…

One thing that can actually be to your advantage in a situation like this. When a provider and client initially meet it is on a far more honest level than that of a regular date. There are no expectations and sexual preferences and other similar intimate and personal information are usually not withheld or lied about. This often occurs in the "real" world of dating for many obvious reasons. The problems that occur in relationships due to this very issue are huge and extremely common place. In fact the inability to be honest with ones SO is often the reason for the affairs that people have and hobbyists seeing providers in the first place.
If you already have that one conquered then provided the individuals are on the same page, they are in a better position than alot of couples are for making things work out. Of course being in agreement about her involvement in the biz is essential.

Just my opinion though, as every situation is unique.

Uusally when I see aprovider that gives me those funny feelings in my stomach a  I dont see her anymore to avoid these situations. As it is I've seen this red head beauty only once,and I still feel a little jealous when I read reviews about her.
Am I alone on this.

Sorry Sparker, that doesn't count.  Everyone who has had the pleasure of seeing Bexy has the hots for her.  I just saw her for the first time and can't believe I waiting this long, what was I thinking.  What an amazing woman.  I'd be worried about anyone who doesn't have the hots for her.

Agentsmiff asked if he's alone in falling for Ginger?

My answer is no, I think only those who haven't met her are immune.

except for your last sentence. Grattsi(sp?),
( 8^(|)