So I have been kind of curious about some things. I am an African American guy and I tend to stick with African American providers that is mainly who I am typically attracted to. However, I have been finding plenty of other providers that I really want to get with (Jezebel and Patricia and both them together just to name a few) and I have also been curious about white women, however I saw a ad where one provider stated she didn't see black men. I don't have a problem with that at all because we all like what we like. I am just curious how many of you ladies won't see hobbyist for certain reasons.

Feel free to make reservations buddy & anyone who won't see an African-American is prejudice, so never waste your time, or $ on them.  Welcome to TER!

"i don't see gentlemen of color"
"i don't see ethnic men"
etc etc

it's bottom line RACIST and not something that should be condoned or tolerated.
sure, every lady can see who they choose, but from where i am sitting it simplifies down to racism.




i love every color of man.
just be clean and respectful.

I have lovers of all races, religions, and colors for sure

Everyone has their own reason for doing things and I definitely dont think that we should jump to the conclusion that it's automatically "racist".

A traumatic experience that a provider may have had in the past with a certain person may cause her to shy away from people who had the same qualities (whether they be mental or physicial) as the traumatizer. Trauma can cause that anxiety that would make her gun-shy for later clients.

I went through a phase  where I wouldn't see anyone who was under 30 just because it seemed like the younger crowd lacked manners and liked to get rough often.

at the same time  I wouldn't qualify myself as "agist" just because I shyed away from the younger guys.

It was just about my comfort level.

If I was a guy  I would send the provider that he was interested in a letter stating his interest in her, telling her that he's a gentlemen and that he is sweet and he just happens to be in the excluded group of people that she spoke of in her ad.

One might be surprised at what a sincere from a gentleman might accomplish...

Good Luck!

-- Modified on 3/6/2012 11:07:43 AM

sounds pretty damn racist to me.
to assume that non black men will be safer or whatnot after a bad experience is idiocy and offensive.

IMO the chick has a daddy/pimp of color who is concerned another daddy/pimp will recruit her with promises of a better situation or she's a racist (weather it's because of a bad experience or she just doesn't like black men for whatever reason). either situation is discriminating against a group of people

not jumping to a conclusion: check wikki link below it describes the situation posted in the original thread to a T as being racism (in the first sentence even).

Posted By: missevabliss

I have lovers of all races, religions, and colors for sure

Everyone has their own reason for doing things and I definitely dont think that we should jump to the conclusion that it's automatically "racist".

A traumatic experience that a provider may have had in the past with a certain person may cause her to shy away from people who had the same qualities (whether they be mental or physicial) as the traumatizer. Trauma can cause that anxiety that would make her gun-shy for later clients.

I went through a phase  where I wouldn't see anyone who was under 30 just because it seemed like the younger crowd lacked manners and liked to get rough often.

at the same time  I wouldn't qualify myself as "agist" just because I shyed away from the younger guys.

It was just about my comfort level.

If I was a guy  I would send the provider that he was interested in a letter stating his interest in her, telling her that he's a gentlemen and that he is sweet and he just happens to be in the excluded group of people that she spoke of in her ad.

One might be surprised at what a sincere from a gentleman might accomplish...

Good Luck!

-- Modified on 3/6/2012 11:07:43 AM

It's not about thinking that someone is safe or not.

It's simply that they might not be able to deal with the anxiety of a similar looking person. It really doesn't have anything to do with the actual person that they are dealing with. People with PTSD will avoid situations that trigger flashbacks of their trauma. It could be a similar issue.

It's not nice to speculate about  someone by just saying "oh she must have a pimp" That sounds like such an easy way out and trashes whoever u are talking about with zero evidence.

Posted By: milatequila

sounds pretty damn racist to me.
to assume that non black men will be safer or whatnot after a bad experience is idiocy and offensive.

IMO the chick has a daddy/pimp of color who is concerned another daddy/pimp will recruit her with promises of a better situation or she's a racist (weather it's because of a bad experience or she just doesn't like black men for whatever reason). either situation is discriminating against a group of people

not jumping to a conclusion: check wikki link below it describes the situation posted in the original thread to a T as being racism (in the first sentence even).

Posted By: missevabliss

I have lovers of all races, religions, and colors for sure

Everyone has their own reason for doing things and I definitely dont think that we should jump to the conclusion that it's automatically "racist".

A traumatic experience that a provider may have had in the past with a certain person may cause her to shy away from people who had the same qualities (whether they be mental or physicial) as the traumatizer. Trauma can cause that anxiety that would make her gun-shy for later clients.

I went through a phase  where I wouldn't see anyone who was under 30 just because it seemed like the younger crowd lacked manners and liked to get rough often.

at the same time  I wouldn't qualify myself as "agist" just because I shyed away from the younger guys.

It was just about my comfort level.

If I was a guy  I would send the provider that he was interested in a letter stating his interest in her, telling her that he's a gentlemen and that he is sweet and he just happens to be in the excluded group of people that she spoke of in her ad.

One might be surprised at what a sincere from a gentleman might accomplish...

Good Luck!

-- Modified on 3/6/2012 11:07:43 AM

PTSD?
WOW, so all black people look the same? gosh, that sounds racist too!
if the ladies are THAT traumatized they should leave the biz, seriously.
so am i reading it's okay to be a racist if you are traumatized?
i still don't think it's okay, sorry.


honey, no speculation:
if we were talking about a specific person, maybe it would be trash talking but we are not. we are generalizing the ladies who WILL NOT see black men.
oh, wait, even if we were talking about a specific person who may or may not have a daddy/pimp it's HARDLY trashing them to comment on if they have a pimp/daddy or not; it's facts.
how is it not nice to figure a girl is either a racist or has a pimp?
it's not unkind at all, it it what it is.
if the girl was traumatized and now won't see black men she has become racist.
bottom line.
whatever the reason for not seeing black men it's DISCRIMINATION pure n simple.




*****

at this point eva, we are at an impasse on opinions and must agree to disagree.
for the record gents and ladies: i have ZERO tolerance for racism or discrimination!

*****



___________________________________________________________________________________


"It's not about thinking that someone is safe or not. It's simply that they might not be able to deal with the anxiety of a similar looking person. It really doesn't have anything to do with the actual person that they are dealing with. People with PTSD will avoid situations that trigger flashbacks of their trauma. It could be a similar issue. It's not nice to speculate about  someone by just saying "oh she must have a pimp" That sounds like such an easy way out and trashes whoever u are talking about with zero evidence."

People's personal preferences cannot be called racist. If you are uncomfortable with a person for WHATEVER reason it is your personal decision. You can not see a person because they smell have, bad breath are too fat or too skinny. It's your body and you can do with it as you see fit. Especially in an intimate situation where personal preferences are magnified.

Thanks. I'm way over it. Haven't given a thought in years. I can still see my toes  when I look down, lol. I figure it was her loss.

I am a biracial baby. My mom is white and my dad is black. After my dad, my mother NEVER dated a black man again. Does that make my mother racist? Its a matter of preference, but usually in this market PIMPS DONT WANT THEIR LADY To SEE BLACK MEN. On the other hand, the white INDEPENDENT providers I know in this area DONT SEE BLACK MEN because THEY FEAR BLACK MEN.

@Patricia I got a birthday coming up.

@mila wow! you are more offended than me! It didn't bother me at all. But I see you point, however I wouldn't go so far as call her racist. Raised my eyebrow to be sure, but I am not quite willing to go that far.

@Eva I agree with  you for the most part, who knows what she had experienced in life or maybe she just doesn't care for black men. Her choice but no loss on my end.

@vivian Love your opinion on things, respect and maturity mean so much.

@chelle wow, that was blunt. LOL I lived in DC for the past 9 years and San Diego seems much more open and accepting than DC ever was

I am enjoying hearing folks opinion on this. Its something that I have been rather curious about, glad to see such a good discussion on the topic.

I only will not see a hobbyist for a couple reasons: If they are unsafe and a danger to ladies. OR....are rude and aggressive! It's a big turn off to me!  I like to spend time with gentlemen who can treat a lady with respect she deserves.

I am not racist, nor do I discriminate against anyone of any color, race or ethnicity! variety is the spice of life.

I have a degree in Black Studies & graduated on the Dean's List!  

See you for your BIG Bday celebration! xoxo

Great thread, and we can all agree to disagree.  Personal preference is what makes us all unique.

Make it a great day & smile 4 me!

About 10 years ago I called to set an appointment with a provider (she's no longer around & she asked for my height and weight.  When I told her she said she didn't see fatties. At the time I was big, but definitely  not fat (I've grown a bit since then). back then,  I was actually athletic.

I was a bit hurt & angry, but in retrospect I'm glad she didnt see me.

wikki: "Discrimination is the prejudicial treatment of an individual based on their membership in a certain group or category. It involves the actual behaviors towards groups such as excluding or restricting members of one group from opportunities that are available to another group. It involves excluding or restricting members of one group from opportunities that are available to other groups."


any time u take a group of people with a trait in common and say "no" to them you are then discriminating against them. black, fat, ugly, sexy, male, female, gay, straight: if you treat them differently you are discriminating against them or the others who aren't them.

is it fair the bouncers let in the hot chicks free and send the ugly ones away?
is it fair that some brothels in japan are "japanese only"?
is it fair that everyone else was speeding but you had the benz so YOU get pulled over?
is it fair that there are more blonde jokes than any other hair colors put together?

life is full of discrimination's and unjustness. the bottom line is ladies who refuse to see any type of group (black, fat, young, etc) are discriminating and taking one (or more) experience(s) and applying them to an entire group/race/people.


ladies, do whatever you are comfy with, of course!
i just feel that what makes you comfy is discriminatory is my only point.


lastly, i would like to say that i have a new friend who is a very cuddly and gentle black man. he is educated and he gets nervous/shy (which is super adorable for a 6' man). i had no idea he would be black before he came over and you know what i did when i realized he was black? not a damn thing differently than if he was white, blue, ten feet tall or a martian from the black hole. he has visited twice now and had i refused to see black men i would have missed out on this awesome friendship. u just never know which clients you will have a lot in common with and which ones might end up being someone you really enjoy spending time with even just over a beer.

i say more weight is more to keep me warm when we cuddle!

sorry you tried to meet someone with such a bad attitude.

Of course it's discrimination in the strictest sense of the word.  We all make discriminating choices in our lives every day.  But a provider's choice to not see black men doesn't automatically make her a "racist".  She *might* be a racist.  But she might not be one.  Choosing not to see black men is in no way dispositive.

Matt

Good afternoon everyone.

You asked:  "What are the reason ladies won't see hobbyist "????

For me- "the content of thier character." is what speak volumes of thier character.

I look beyond the superficialities of skin color.  ***However,  Over an email? not so easy!
Maturity & respect,  go along way in my book.  and if they are individuals as me. I do my own thing my way.

I know what I seek when it comes to attracting the men I enjoy meeting and well, playing with.

****YOUR RIGHT!*****
WE Like what we like!!!!
I tend to attract those like minded individuals. That seek class, besides  Low volume.

No need to book alot of men, to have negative experriences...
few great men, is what life is all about.

Best of luck with all.

again as i said to eva, agree to disagree.



however, i am curious that it's seemingly non-black people saying it's not racist (mattclark, evabliss, dantheman) so *no offense* but your opinion of what might be discriminatory/racist or not doesn't weigh too heavily with me (but i still heart you three xxx). if a provider/hobbyist who was black/mixed/etc was saying THEY didn't think it was racist for a provider to NOT see a them i would pipe down on it.

what's wrong with the idea of DISCRIMINATION?  I discriminate many times a day, as do we all. Which brand to buy, which show to see, which lady to  be with.......the term has become a hijacked word, like 'gay' and some others. Our beautiful English language is rapidly becoming dumbed-down to below jr.-high level. One can't even engage in discourse without fearing to 'offend' someones sense of decency.  "Common decency", that's another fast disappearing concept.

Just me, ranting.

I agree. If it is a matter of preference then surely the same lady who states she will not see black guys should mention if she does not like short, or bold or too tall etc.

I personally think it is racist and it is not ok.


I am Italian and I have met people from all over the world. Some were good some were bad. Which one where bad? all sorts. who was good? all sorts.

It is not the colour but the person that matter.

Are you respectful, honest and clean? I would love to date you if you ever come my way!

I cannot believe this ballshit racism still goes on.

Sorry but it irritates me to think that we still put barriers between eachother.

S x

I heart you too, mila baby!  And in the spirit of Ron Burgandy, I'm always willing to agree to disagree. lol

You're right, I'm not black.  So then, because I'm not black, you're discounting my opinion that such provider policies are not automatically racist.  Will you agree then that your opinion on the same question, that such providers policies *are* automatically racist, should be equally discounted because you're every bit as white as I am?

Matt

Posted By: milatequila

again as i said to eva, agree to disagree.



however, i am curious that it's seemingly non-black people saying it's not racist (mattclark, evabliss, dantheman) so *no offense* but your opinion of what might be discriminatory/racist or not doesn't weigh too heavily with me (but i still heart you three xxx). if a provider/hobbyist who was black/mixed/etc was saying THEY didn't think it was racist for a provider to NOT see a them i would pipe down on it.

I was told by a provider that she would not see black men because they had a tendency to be rather large in size comparatively speaking. She likes the white man's little peepers just fine.

I don't think it's racist at all, in fact I say kudos to the lady that has the guts to be upfront about something that could be construed as racist.  I would much rather know ahead of time if something about me is going hinder my appointment with a lady.  I wish more ladies would list things if they know it might take away from the pleasure of a meeting.

The big thing here is that sexual intimacy is not the same as a job, or admission to a school or a seat on a bus.  Intimacy involves your body and everyone has different attractions and different inhibitions.  No one should ever be called something as harsh as a racist because of who they choose to allow or not allow access to their body.