Providers, what do you do when you are with a new client and you soon discover that you don't click, that you have nothing to talk about? Do you ever strain to keep the conversation going? I know hobbyists aren't there primarily for conversation, but still, it is desirable and it is a big plus, perhaps esp. during pillow talk, but also when you first meet. A good provider would have awesome conversation skills, and can talk with virtually anyone, but I imagine there must be times when the guy you're with is just a plain bore, or super-shy, or you simply have nothing in common. Awkward! Perhaps there are some hobbyists that have the same issue with providers.

It's a gift

That's  an interesting question...I know whenever I'm about to meet a new client I always have a bit of nervousness and worry that we may not 'click'...

But truth be told, as soon as that door opens, it's hard for me not to feel an instant connection, and suddenly I'm in my element...I'm not only completely comfortable, but I'm subtly assessing and working on his comfort level too, casually asking questions and openly talking about myself or my day in a very friendly and real way...

It is kind of a gift though, and you either have it or you don't; and a good provider will alway have it...

And it's not just being able to chat anyone up, which certainly helps...more importantly, it's the ability to stay calm and be comfortable in a potentially awkward situation, because most clients take their cues from the provider...so if she's at a loss for words, or seems disconnected or unsure of herself, an already uneasy client is just going to mirror that awkwardness right back at the provider..which is a total lose-lose...

I've found that just staying present in the moment and really listening is all it takes to keep a light-hearted conversation flowing organically...and as long as it's happening in a natural way, and not forced, fake, or disingenuous, then even the shyest of clients will break out of their shell...he may be shy, or even socially awkward, but most people will engage and contribute when presented with a friendly exchange from a pretty girl...so long as they're feeling comfortable, and not just a complete weirdo, lol...

Thanks for weighing in with such a detailed response. (You're a good writer, btw). I was hoping someone would chime in. The hardest part is keeping it genuine. I don't even like it when someone asks "how are you" and doesn't mean it.

Re: It's a gift

Not to derail a thread, but, Dani, I am a huge fan of yours! I thought you were the sexiest girl out there a  few years back when you were doing films. It's nice to see from your pic that you haven't lost any of your feminine charms

-- Modified on 10/20/2011 4:51:08 PM

I have to admit, I love talking to people.  I am the type of girl that enjoys going out by herself to see how many random conversations I can get into, not just to flirt but actually challenge myself to learn to talk to all walks of life.  Some conversations go well and you wish they would shut up and other times those awkward moments pop up and you feel like you are pulling teeth.  There is no rhythm and you could hear a pen drop.  Now at a bar or in public it you have to either figure out how to move to another subject or you find an excuse to leave.  
I would be full of it if I sat here and said, "I have never had an awkward client that I could not make comfortable or relate to." There was this one time I was so excited to meet a client.  We had exchanged emails for a good three weeks leading up to our appointment.  The emails were amazing and I was truly eager to meet this person.  He showed up and automatically I knew he was uncomfortable, we sat on the bed and I began probing for what I like to call "hot spots".  (Hot spots- areas of someone’s life or things they are most passionate about; get them talking about themselves and you are golden)  Well, this person apparently had no "hot spots" or if they did I was not going to uncover them.  After one word answers and clumsy physical movements I realized I was going to need to resort to the physical end of things.......
The kissing was just as off as the communication so after a little bit I did the most unprofessional thing, I ended it due to lack of chemistry.  Now, Now, Now.... I KNOW totally unprofessional.  But haven't you heard of hobbyist's leaving a girl because he wasn't attracted to her?? So what's the difference? I left everything on good terms.  I commend the providers that can just "suck" it up, apparently I suck at that.... Lessons?? ...Just kidding, I am good.
This is obviously an extreme situation and hasn't ever happened again. I usually "click" with most but just goes to show you NO matter how great emails are you still never know what you are going to get.

Two controversial posts in one day!  Someone should take the keyboard away!! LOL

XOXOXO,
Eyva Ferrari



-- Modified on 10/21/2011 9:01:40 AM

I think it is pretty cool that she posted on the board.

Then again - there was me.  Couldn't shut me up over all three days could you baby.  Seriously I cannot remember connecting with anyone so quickly as with you Eyva.  Soon it' s our time again

I love you baby

Re: It was a fun three days, hang out with me too long and might want to keep me....eom

Yeah and you know I do eom