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Inter-Racial Firsts ...
ONEYUMMYBLONDE See my TER Reviews 6489 reads
posted

Perhaps this post will end-up getting lost on page #2, but I Hope Not!  Maybe "agentsmiff" can start-up a NEW thread on the subject to get more feedback from OTHER Local Providers ...

In regard to your question about "Interracial Experiences" and "The Hobby":

I have personally had the pleasure of men of many different races, ALL of whom I met through participating in "The Hobby".  Actually, my very 1st time with a "Black" man was just this past year & while I might not have seen him in my personal life, I very much enjoyed his company & would definitely see him again! (Love those full lips)  For instance, not many "White" men have lips that are comparable in size to mine & I HAD NO IDEA how much better kissing can be!  :)

Now, as far as excluding AN ENTIRE RACE ... I think that is going a little bit too far.  Even IF the individual has had a traumatic experience, she needs to try & get beyond identifying ALL men of THAT Particular RACE as "HER Perpetrator" (?sp?)
*This is imperative for her recovery*  

Now, although this is a very personal issue, I feel obliged to share it so that others will trust that I know what I am talking about when I offered-up that bit of advice.  I, myself, have personally been through a very traumatic experience & have had to work at NOT identifying EVERY "Black" man as MY offender.  This was very difficult, as one naturally tends to regard ANYTHING involved with "that incident" as perhaps "scary" or "bad".  However, in time, the fog begins to clear &  you are able to truly see things as they are.  :)

I'd just like to say that, for the record, I AM sorry that you had to experience that particular type of rejection.  I'd say to TRY not to take it personally, but how could you NOT??  I guess the best thing you could do is just consider the source.  Perhaps she has gone through something too terrible to imagine ... but then again, maybe it's just her personal preference.  Either way, though, she certainly needs to brush-up on her interpersonal skills & use a little bit more TACT from here on out!  I hope that I've been of help to You  :)

Sincerely ~ Lara

Related Link: contact info / pics

agentsmiff6898 reads

I called a well reviewed provider, had a good conversation passed all her intial screening. Set a time, whe nI arrive she opens the door looking puzzled, when I tell her who i am she says she doesn't do appointments with people of my race.
WTF?!?!?!

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eyesonme5336 reads

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ccybersurfer6432 reads

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sedonasandiego5514 reads

The one on the National Board, posted on 10/4/03 by Shafty7.
I think the entire thread is a worthwhile read.

No matter what you, or I or anyone else feels about this subject, the fact of the matter is, she handled it badly. Situations in this business, as with any other business, come up, and one has to have a plan in place as to how to handle it, even when caught 'off guard'. I sincerely hope she has resolved this for herself, and that she also recognizes, hopefully because she was caught off guard, that she did NOT handle it appropriately and has vowed to be certain to change that.

In the meantime, you might want to look at the thread I mentioned. There is also another one, in June, that was interesting, but IMO got somewhat 'out of hand'. Still worth reading peoples' viewpoints in that thread also.

I'm sorry you experienced that.

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Mr. Self Destruct6473 reads

I posted on that thread, and it was a good one regarding the subject.

As far as this particular scenario, the lady definitely could have handled it better.  She has the right to choose her clients, as I think the gentlmen implied, but if she didn't state her exclusions up front, then she needed to do better.  I don't think people should boycott her for not posting her preferences, but at this point, she should post them, to avoid a repet scenario, and deal with however some people think of her because of it.  

Now, if she doesn't post her preferences within a week or so on her site, I think the gentleman should leave her a message stating that she needs to do so, or he will have to reveal her identity so that others will avoid seeing her.  Bet she posts it then.

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slim234879 reads

sorry to hear your luck. i have had a ladie tell me she wouldnt see me because im not skinny. well im fat. that hurt my feelings a little bit. she does have that right but i also have the right never to see her when i shed a few pds. you should post her name because i would also like to not see somebody like her. unless you are green-- then she should turn you down.  because green people arent like the rest of us

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bobloveswomen4857 reads

agentsmiff...you started this thread...you need to finish it? Who was the lady?  I have been asked if I was black by a San Diego Provider...and although i'm not it didn't please me..cause maybe the next one will ask me about something I am...

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agentsmiff4429 reads

Why is who she is so important, I only posted this to show that prejudices can be silly. I never want to be with anybody who is really not into for whatever reason. I thought this situation was a little unique in that I THOUGHT the provider and I connected. I have to tell you guys, if it got out that a black provider didn't see white guys it would not influence my seeing her one bit. Something I am curious about though, maybe the ladies can help. What are the ethinic breakdowns for the gentlemen you see, and how many of you had your first interracial experience in the hobby.

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Ginger girl5384 reads

Well it's her loss. She missed out on a true gentlemen and a wonderful person....not to mention the other stuff :)

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ONEYUMMYBLONDE6490 reads

Perhaps this post will end-up getting lost on page #2, but I Hope Not!  Maybe "agentsmiff" can start-up a NEW thread on the subject to get more feedback from OTHER Local Providers ...

In regard to your question about "Interracial Experiences" and "The Hobby":

I have personally had the pleasure of men of many different races, ALL of whom I met through participating in "The Hobby".  Actually, my very 1st time with a "Black" man was just this past year & while I might not have seen him in my personal life, I very much enjoyed his company & would definitely see him again! (Love those full lips)  For instance, not many "White" men have lips that are comparable in size to mine & I HAD NO IDEA how much better kissing can be!  :)

Now, as far as excluding AN ENTIRE RACE ... I think that is going a little bit too far.  Even IF the individual has had a traumatic experience, she needs to try & get beyond identifying ALL men of THAT Particular RACE as "HER Perpetrator" (?sp?)
*This is imperative for her recovery*  

Now, although this is a very personal issue, I feel obliged to share it so that others will trust that I know what I am talking about when I offered-up that bit of advice.  I, myself, have personally been through a very traumatic experience & have had to work at NOT identifying EVERY "Black" man as MY offender.  This was very difficult, as one naturally tends to regard ANYTHING involved with "that incident" as perhaps "scary" or "bad".  However, in time, the fog begins to clear &  you are able to truly see things as they are.  :)

I'd just like to say that, for the record, I AM sorry that you had to experience that particular type of rejection.  I'd say to TRY not to take it personally, but how could you NOT??  I guess the best thing you could do is just consider the source.  Perhaps she has gone through something too terrible to imagine ... but then again, maybe it's just her personal preference.  Either way, though, she certainly needs to brush-up on her interpersonal skills & use a little bit more TACT from here on out!  I hope that I've been of help to You  :)

Sincerely ~ Lara

Related Link: contact info / pics

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sparker5812 reads

This sounds like a job for "Alfonso" from NoStinkinBadges!! I wil bet that la pinche can't even make tortillas!! El Rey will show her a thing or two, just like he did to those stinkin' badges.

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kaylasd4439 reads

Hi,
I am sorry to hear that happened to you. But in response to the headline in your post-"Why dont you just put it in the ad..."
I know for a fact that most advertising companys take that kind of stuff out of your ad.  Even if you wrote "No _______ Please"  it would be edited out of the text.  For whatever reason we all have our personal preferences. If this provider has a heart she will figure something nice out to do for you.  I hope this information helps.  
Affectionally yours,
Kayla

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masgrande3932 reads

This is too easy of a problem to solve.

If a provider has a pre-disposition to certain races one way or the other, she should take it upon herself to find a provider who has different acceptance criterias.

When the situation arises, all she needs to do is politely explain that there are some exceptions but so you're not put out she has a friend XXXXX and will arrange for you to see her at a discount sometime later.

If the providers who work together can help each other out with Identity verification, they can certainly point someone in the right direction.

Who knows. Maybe lady #2 will say so many nice things back to lady #1 about her experience, that she may make an exception in the future...

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