Not all men are turned on by the thought of grabbing some woman by the hair and making her French so hard she gagged several times.  There are other ways to French that, to some, will be a much bigger turn on than what equates to mild S & M.  Think about it...how would it feel for you to DATY while having your head squeezed between a woman's thighs until it hurt, have her grab your hair and thrust your head wherever she wanted to, and have to lick her until your jaw locked, your tongue was numb, and your salivary glands dried up, just to "worship" her pussy?  Not so fun sounding, unless, again, you are into role playing or S & M.  An enlightened woman knows how to make love with her mouth in a way that will blow her lover's mind, and, as you said, there are several women in SD who give BBBJTC who fit this bill, from what I have read.  I have never had a provider French me like certain girlfriends I have had, partially because emotion makes all sex more memorable (unless you are a Republican , and partly because they had learned over time what made it better for me.  If someone has never had a woman give you this type of sexual love, then they either need to talk to their girlfriend more (and lead by example), get a different girlfriend, or they got married too early.