I have been dating lately, I was wondering if i have had an abnormally high number of partners 67(no providers included)
it seems like the ladies i have been dating are shocked some offended by this number. Is this high? 32 years old had my first at 16?

Holy Crap... Im 28 and Ive had about 20 or so.  IMHO 67 is way COOL!!!

To put you on the defensive is standard operating procedure for a Civi' and no better way to do that than to make you feel like you're a male slut and therefore unworthy. A 35 year old civi' woman will say that she has had only 5 partners in her whole life but what she won't say is that she has been rotating them for the last 20 years and between them she has more mileage below her belt than the monorail at Disneyland.
   Civi women are best compared to professional polititions. Everything they think do & say has an alterior motive as well as an agenda.

  IMHO- Be straight up with your provider(s) but offer a civi' less info than you would offer a DA who is prosecuting you criminally.

   Cm.

Cynicalman I didn't know you were here in SD.
AMiff NEVER EVER tell a woman your # of partners. I learned this 5-6 years ago. My # was 46. I wasvery honet with the lady. I felt that my number was inferior to others due to all the war stories and BS I've heard. She was shocked and offended. She also never let me sleep with her. Of course I was head over heels in love with this beauty. An itaian with thick straight black hair. The most beautiful blue eyes. Thats Italian. (My computer sometimes deletes the next letter when I go back and correctb a misspelling so I let some stuff go )She was a teacher with a soft voice, flat out beautiful. She could have been bs'ing me. I know she was dating others. Perhaps it was an excuse.
Anyways I don't feel it is ever any of their business, as their # of partners isn't any of mine. I reccomend not answering. That way yyou create more of a mystery about yourself. If pinned down, lie...

Cynicalman is realistic, and we all can profit from learning his realism.

It is nobodies business how many partners a person has had. The only business of mine would be that my partner uses protection and does not come up short when it is time to pull out a condom. I tend not to trust those men who do not carry protection with them at all times. The reason being that I always do and would never in the heat of the moment decide to go for it with out protecting myself.

I assume that if a person is healthy ( sexually) will most likely have an average of about 12 partners per year. Assuming they are single and date at least 1 a mth.

kisses & licks............
mara

I didn't KNOW that.  But I would have lost count at around 200.  But of course I am bit older...  hahaha...

My numbers aren't even that high and I've been a provider for 18 months, and I'm older than you!!

Just teasing you - although what I said is true.

How can anybody put a number on it, really? Ya can't.
But you can choose and operate wisely or as wisely as possible.

I wish I'd had 30% of that number at 32. You must be one good looking sob... I certainly wouldn't brag about it to civilians!

I guess I got my question answered and I will lie from now on.

Cynicalman, please...could you stop making negative generalizations about civilian women long enough to look at something?

This guy supposedly is 32 and has had 67 partners (not counting providers) in 16 years.  That is over four partners a year, every year, since he was 16.  While some (mostly men) may say "Dude, you're a stud!", any MATURE woman OR MAN looking for a REAL relationship (and not just sex) is going to at least QUESTION this number and wonder if this guy is "relationship material", and rightfully so.  Most people who are interested in finding serious relationships do not sleep around as much as that.  It doesn't make them better or worse, it just states their priorities.  A civilian woman wouldn't be "controlling" to question this...she would rightfully be questioning whether this guy would be interested in being around a year from when he got her into bed (if that long, or whether he was likely to be unfaithful.  

I don't know Smiff, and he may be a very nice chap, but yeah, I think he will get some raised eyebrows from women.  Now, depending upon how he handles it, it could be fine.  If he sincerely wants to stop tomcatting and have "relationships", there are plenty of women out there who will forgive his past, although I don't think he should go into specifics, and any woman who really presses him on specifics might be questionable relationship material herself. I know this by my own personal experience.  However, he would have to be sincere, and prove that he is happy with monogamy, before they are going to give up the goods, and I can't blame them.  He isn't talking about meeting a provider or someone in a bar and boinking them and saying "See ya"...he is talking about trying to have a relationship.  If someone doesn't want to have a relationship and wants to have sex with no committment, that is there right.  However, if you want to have a relationship and be let into someone's life and share in their emotional life, then it isn't unfair for them to ask for monogamy in return for the investment they are making in you.

I will say it again...you dated the wrong women in life, my man.  I have known civilian women that were much more open minded and better in bed than you seem to think they are capable of.  I hope someday you find someone better and can be less cynical.  There is enough in the world to be cynical about without being that way about love.


-- Modified on 11/18/2003 10:57:03 PM

Couldn't remember some of their names, either LOL...

No, I'm not going to let you know the number but it was higher than 20 and lower than 80 *giggle*

Go figure I decided to put my dating style to some purpose later on.

Elise [email protected]

And I really would rather not get into it here. All I will say my friend that my Cynicism toward Civies IS both justified as well as a defense for some personal pain.

BTW- How can you live in SoCal and be convinced that it's NOT "All about the money"

  Cm.

Maybe the optimist in me, but after dating some civi women around my age a couple years ago, and experiencing their skills - or lack thereof- I was happy to meet an experienced woman. My number is hovering around the 50 area, including the dozen or so providers I have had the privilege of seeing. The way I see it is that if the person you are with has a problem with the # then it is just their insecurity showing. It's just naive to think that as adults neither person in the relationship is experienced. Everything you learn from your last lovers simply helps you take care of your current one.. no?
gc

I am sorry to hear that you have had an experience that obviously caused you a lot of pain and bad memories.  I sincerely hope that life gives you some better ones in the near future.

I actually am pretty Cynical regarding most So Cal people...most people in general, actually.  However, there are always exceptions, and I just try to focus on them, because they are the ones that are going to stay in my space.