Life can be messy and we all know 'shit happens, right? Well...hear me out...

I had to take my Grandmother to the hospital, which took 4 more hours then I had planned, and was unable to make a date that was already arranged.  

I felt horrible. Of course for my Grandmother (whom is ailing, but doing ok now) and for the client. Although I did communicate, it was late and a day or so later still has me feel very unprofessional.  

My question is, when the cancel is from the provider, how do we make it right with the client? Not only for the professionalism of it, for the 'do the right thing when you mess up' factor.  

I'm not one to run from my mistakes, but this is eating me up. And not in the initial context I was hoping for

I want to hear from everyone, both providers and clients.  

ps: I do see ALOT of 'she was late' about providers and providers acting like they don't give a damn...but I do. I care. I love what I do and I think being on time and communicating is crucial

Here is an example (this one applies to both sides)

Your date is at 6pm and it will take you 30min to get there but it's 5:45. This means before you've even left you will be 15min late based on the timing and travel. So the CORRECT AND COURTEOUS thing to do would be to contact BEFORE leaving to say you will likely be a little late. Do NOT contact at 6pm (the time of the date) to say you're running late. You were fully aware you would be late well before hitting the road. Being communicative is the first part.

Now say you can't get in touch for some reason and you're essentially a NO CALL, NO SHOW. That's what it sounds like you're describing in your situation since you mentioned not responding till the next day (or more)? Bottom line you fucked up. If you miss the date and can't communicate while you're missing it you MUST respond as soon as possible. Not the next day or day after or after. The best way to start making it up to someone is to APOLOGIZE rite away and explain as much as you are comfortable sharing. To wait furthers the disrespect and lack of interest in truly "making it up" in my opinion. If you've chosen to wait it might be best to apologize and ask if they have a suggestion as to making it up to them or to say maybe we can try again another time. If you contacted rite away you could offer a discounted date or extra time.

 
Things I do to make up:

- offer extra 30min free to friends I already know
- offer 100 off to new friends who I missed a date with (maybe I missed too many emails or didn't get back to them to confirm the date in time)

Other issues are communication where someone thinks we are booked when in fact we were not booked. Every date will have the directions/address for incall BEFORE the date, not drive near my area and wait for directions. This has happened twice actually with the same person even after explaining that they would have the info if we were set and confirmed. I have also had challenges with ladies not making it for a double so I try to have a bottle of champagne just in case we need to drown our sorrows without a second lady friend.

 
Ironically with all the "make up" offers I do I have YET to have more than one person actually pay MY cancelation fee. Perhaps I'm just racking up some good karma this way is the mindset I try to have

Communication is crucial. You didn't mention if you had alerted the client that you MIGHT be late at any time. Also you did not mention exactly when you cancelled. If it was less than an hour or 2 before the scheduled meeting, you should feel guilty, since you knew you were occupied by your grandmother's health issue and you were already running behind. If you just dropped a cancellation on me with no warning under these circumstances, I'd be annoyed.  

I've been offered bonus time of 1/2hr to an hour, discounts of 10-50%, vague I'll make it up to you's, just "sorry", and not even an apology.  

If I was one of your regulars, I'd probably let it go as a "shit happens." If I was a first time client, I might reschedule regardless if I really wanted to meet you and/or thought your excuse was sincere, but I would certainly appreciate any "make-up" offer. I'd probably accept your generous offer but also bring you a gift too.

Habitual time wasters need to be called out, but this doesn't seem to be the case.  

Hope your grandmother is doing ok.

"I've been offered bonus time of 1/2hr to an hour, discounts of 10-50%, vague I'll make it up to you's, just "sorry", and not even an apology"

I have also been offered that range of compensations for a missed appointment. Unfortunately, too many have been "vague I'll make it up to you's, just "sorry", and not even an apology.  

It is especially frustrating when it is a first time visit to a provider.

But that's life. Sit at the beach, watch the waves, go with the flow, yada yada yada.

...but, before I get to that, I'm glad to hear that your Grandmother is doing better.

First, as I see it, you're NOT being anything even close to being unprofessional. If anything, you have your priorities straight! You took care of your family first. Given the circumstances, you did your best to communicate with your date.  
If this were a "normal" job for you, your employer &/or supervisor would hopefully be compassionate enough to understand.
I hope that your date has been just as compassionate & understanding.

With regards to "how to make amends," that's completely & totally your business. Others have posted their suggestions, so I won't be redundant. Just do what you think is best for you and your (missed) date.  

For me, there was this one time when my ATF had to cancel our appointment. I made the mistake of expressing my disappointment by "hinting" that I was hoping that she'd give me "extra credit."   By doing this, I came off as an ungrateful, complete & total jerk.  
Y'see, my ATF has been nothing but wonderful to me. For example, she always remembers my birthday & the holidays.  
My selfishness truly upset her. I learned my lesson from that. Since then, I always treat her with the dignity, respect & care that she deserves.  

I hope that this helps you in some way.

 

 

Communication. Communication. Communication.  I'm  amazed how younger people have all of this great access to communicate with someone yet they dont use the tools available  to them.

I agree with Sympathy.  Let the gent know you are sorry first. Very easy words. Second, The key is dont promise and not follow through. Too often she says "I will make it up to you" then nothing...no communication.  You dont have to give a disount or extra time, just follow through.  

The lady this week texted me and said she was out of town and couldnt make it back in time for our date. No sorry or apology.  My first warning she didnt respect me.   I wait all week for the make up call.  Crickets.  Oh yeah, she had time to post 2 ads on 2 separate days.do you think I will ever see her again?

-- Modified on 9/9/2016 8:53:36 PM

As someone stated it is your decision but if I may suggest providing complimentary additional time and/or contacting the client to make amends even if it takes multiple times.  A detailed text says a lot to a client.  I dislike short texts for explanations.  I have been NCNS several times with no explanation...in fact I worry about providers who I do not hear from...want to make sure they are okay.  I appreciate that you care and hope all is well with your family.

i had an appt to meet a young lady for the first time.

the morning of, she emailed me & cancelled, b/c she felt ill. i believe she was feeling ill, as it was the third day of a 100 + degree heat wave, so i def. understood and replied as much. we both promised to try again in the future.

so cut to 3 months later, i email her to try again.  her prices had gone up, but i was hoping she'd honor her original rate for the cancelled date.  

she did not.  altho she wasn't rude about it, she was also not at all apologetic.  i suppose i had no right to expect otherwise, so   I paid the higher rate. the session was nice enough, but tbh, when she emailed me a few weeks later asking for another date, needless to say i was not pre-disposed go see her again.  

the punch line is, soon afterwards she left the business.

ps hope your grandma's ok now

Sometimes you just can't make it. I think the best thing you can do is contact your client ahead of time and let them know that you can't make it. No reason to go into detail as to why. The only times I've ever gotten upset over a no show is a text message sent to me while I'm sitting in my car waiting for the come up signal. But even then I'd rather have a provider who's focused on me, instead of whatever emergency just cropped up. And while I don't think an apology is needed, I do like to know that the lady in question still actually wants my business. If a lady no shows and doesn't contact me, or if she does contact me and doesn't offer a rain check or some indication that she'd like to see me soon, I probably won't try again. I don't want to be that guy. I figure, that for whatever reason something put her off on seeing me and I'm not the begging type. Or as a wise man once said, "I will beg for sex. I will pay for sex. I will NOT beg to pay for sex."

Goldie is a complete professional I'm way overdo for seeing.

This is a post I wanted to shrink & run from! I have actually signed myself up for a three month program that helps people keep their word! I want to always see people I say I will see! This is how much this has affected me personally.  

To begin ... It can become a horrible habit. In my "school"'we recognize and learn that we can have power over our lives and avoid the accidents, ailments, incidents and emergencies that lead to cancellations. This awareness is the first step. Much like AA... (Lol)  

Making the commitment to see the clients we make arrangements to see then is the next step.  

I personally am hiring an assistant to also assist with accountability. In my experience being alone on an island can result in a lack of awareness around this issue.  

Being involved in community events helps me to.  

Hope to be an example in creating a workable understanding and solutions for increased commitment in meeting our friends when we say we will. Looking forward to reading, sharing and responding to this and other important matters on Ter.  

Thanks again to everyone for starting, sharing and commenting on this! Love this place!

Written with humility and honesty!   To change any character flaws in life, you must first admit you have a problem.  Once you recognize that, then you can modify your lifestyle.  

My change occurred several years ago when I decided to lose weight.  I was not obese, but I needed to lose 20+ pounds.  It's said that losing weight and keeping it off is the hardest habit to break because of all the temptations that surround us.  

No matter what habit you wish to change, you should say, "I am doing this for me and no one else!"  

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post and appreciate that you can say you are working on a problem.  I hope I can meet you if you remember to keep an open schedule!  HA..

ps.. I joined a gym and changed my diet more than 4 years ago.  I lost about 25 pounds and haven't had much desire for my old lifestyle.  You will too, Michelle Rene

Hey Six Pack Abs!

(BTW: Very appropriate name it sounds like!)  
Congratulations to you & thank you very much for the encouragement & acknowledging . Appreciated
Hope to see you soon!  

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Thanks Lola!

Either extra time or a discount would be great, to some extent it is the thought that counts.  A sincere apology is more than most providers who flake will give.  My time is valuable and in short supply so I just do not see someone who has wasted my time before or has reviews that say she is flaky.  Sometimes stuff happens though, and good communication goes a long way