Ok the discussion part of the discussion board seems a a but light here in PDX... lets see if we can get it going.


First let me say that it has been some time since this has happened to me so hopefully on one will feel this is directed at them.

This is one of those things that bothers me and thank god it only occasionally happens. Lets say you and I are “regular” friends,  we see one another every few weeks or once a month, all of a sudden one day your envelope is short 20.00. Normally I see this as the end of the relationship because one of two things has happened. 1) Either you have begun to take me for granted and have no idea how insulting your “mistake” has been. 2) When I bring it up your going to be so embarrassed about it you will not call again or maybe it’s back to 1 and you think I am being petty.

I hesitate and put my self though anguish before approaching a gent over this kind of thing, but I do bring it up within a day or so of it happening. (No I do not count the gift before I leave with regulars, I shouldn’t have to!) I see not bringing it up as being a potential problem in the future even though doing so very likely means the end of the relationship. Which is sad, because I bring so much more of myself to these deeper friendships and I really do miss the person I was so fond of and had such wonderful times with.

Talking me about wallet would get you so much farther it “oh shoot, I though I had more money in my , I would likely say “oh don’t worry about it.”  

Even though i handle it as delicately as i can, more often than not making mention of it ends the relationship. Maybe i am too sensitive about respect but i just can't let it go unmentioned out of self respect.

Ladies, do you let 20.00 slide form a regular?

Gents what does it mean when your envelope is 20.00 short?

Love and Light

Your roxy

Roxy,

In my case it just means I can't count very well and just screwed up.

The way I typically avoid this is 1) don't use an envelope 2) leave it out in an obvious location ie desk, top of TV or bedside table and 3) use large bills allowing for fast easy counting without thumbing through the bills.

Roxy, I would let it slide the first time and if the gentleman did it a second you know that it was intentional and then either bring it up to him or let him go. I have a gentleman I have seen for three years. We've even traveled together. He has shorted me a couple of times. He has even said "count it Baby" and I don't and then later noticed a $100 missing. He always makes it up to me, thank god. I know with regulars it is hard to ask for or count the money up front because you have already established trust within the relationship. I have always required payment upfront and usually take the envelope to the restroom, count it and put it away. I do this not only to make sure it is correct but I have gotten sooooo into a session and forgot to take the envelope with me afterwards. Dah!!!, LOL...

I hope one of those wasn't me, but I do double check.  If I ever did that to you I would expect you to tell me, we may try, but we are not perfect and mistakes do happen.  Several years ago I did make that mistake, actually shorted a lovely lady by half and when called on it knew I screwed up and was very embarassed so it does NOT happen any more.  

We've known each other for several years now and I would expect an immediate call and you in turn should expect an immediate restitution (with a tip also)

There was someone whom I used to see in LA, generally three times a month.  Because I use the cash machines the envelopes were full of 20s. However, the last meeting before Christmas I pulled four 20s out and added three  hundreds. An extra thanks  of $220.

As was our usual practice I dropped the envelope into her open purse.  However, on her way out the door she only counted the edges of the bills.  Turned and said some very unpleasant things.  Game over, not because of a mistake but because of the reaction to what, if it were a shortage, would have been an error.

The moral is to at first assume the client has made a mistake, allow it to be corrected and an apology offered before going off on a rant. Beyond that I recommend no tolerance for someone who fails to pay the agreed amount in any business arrangement.