*le sigh*

Alexis Golden eloquently phrased it here:

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=156869&boardID=23&page=

But I thought it appropriate to post it again. Maybe its because I'm in my 30s and I grew up watching COPs - where every man or woman that referenced sex and money was arrested but I thought everyone knew you just don't do that. Apparently not however. It doesn't matter whether it is by email, phone or text (if she allows it,) but having explicit conversations with someone you've never met before in this light is a potentially dangerous situation. This is also why screening has traditionally been so important to so many ladies. I know lots of ladies in the newer crop don't screen as extensively, but when someone does, trying to have explicit conversation without revealing who you are is just not going to work.

Lastly, negotiating rates... *sigh* lets not even go there. I just had a guy call me, for the 2nd time, finally agreed to screening, after having been reminded of my rates... then he immediately asked for almost half off my rate because he couldn't afford it. THEN he offered me 200 more than my hourly rate... but only if I would give him 2 hours because since I'm a porn star he wants to enjoy as much time as he could with me. I reminded him that if he could afford more than my hourly rate, he could afford my hourly rate. Agreed? I know everyone is out for a deal and a good time. But I had to inform this guy that his attempting to negotiate my rate simply because he wanted to pay less, and having never even met me before - makes me less interested in seeing him. And so I declined.

I wish more guys would do their research before picking up a phone. It would make things SO much easier.

Just an FYI, Telling a lady for over 2 hours that you aren't willing to pay her rate in back and emails or text is NOT a turn on. So by the time she decides she isn't interested at all in meeting you - deciding you are suddenly willing to pay her rate might prove to be fruitless.

Posted By: Sinnamon Love

*le sigh*

Alexis Golden eloquently phrased it here:

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=156869&boardID=23&page=

But I thought it appropriate to post it again. Maybe its because I'm in my 30s and I grew up watching COPs - where every man or woman that referenced sex and money was arrested but I thought everyone knew you just don't do that. Apparently not however. It doesn't matter whether it is by email, phone or text (if she allows it,) but having explicit conversations with someone you've never met before in this light is a potentially dangerous situation. This is also why screening has traditionally been so important to so many ladies. I know lots of ladies in the newer crop don't screen as extensively, but when someone does, trying to have explicit conversation without revealing who you are is just not going to work.

Lastly, negotiating rates... *sigh* lets not even go there. I just had a guy call me, for the 2nd time, finally agreed to screening, after having been reminded of my rates... then he immediately asked for almost half off my rate because he couldn't afford it. THEN he offered me 200 more than my hourly rate... but only if I would give him 2 hours because since I'm a porn star he wants to enjoy as much time as he could with me. I reminded him that if he could afford more than my hourly rate, he could afford my hourly rate. Agreed? I know everyone is out for a deal and a good time. But I had to inform this guy that his attempting to negotiate my rate simply because he wanted to pay less, and having never even met me before - makes me less interested in seeing him. And so I declined.

I wish more guys would do their research before picking up a phone. It would make things SO much easier.

No matter what you think. You are the sellers and we are the buyers. We have choices. You need us, we dont need you. Remember that. You serve a function, just as every job does. The very minute, you think youre above that, you will come tumbling down. Youre in your 30'S AND YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING? LOL......you know nothing. A man and woman can talk in private about anything they want........money sex....whatever. Thats legal!!!! Its only when an exchange is made that it becomes illegal. And you being thirty means what. You better watch a few dozen more episodes. You girls are the sellers......thats a good thing. But we as buyers have EVERY RIGHT in the world to ask to negotiate, because the bottom line is .......we hold the money. And what you do for us, we can do in the bathroom all by ourselves into the sink!!!! You better think long and hard about what you control.

Posted By: Sinnamon Love

*le sigh*

Alexis Golden eloquently phrased it here:

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=156869&boardID=23&page=

But I thought it appropriate to post it again. Maybe its because I'm in my 30s and I grew up watching COPs - where every man or woman that referenced sex and money was arrested but I thought everyone knew you just don't do that. Apparently not however. It doesn't matter whether it is by email, phone or text (if she allows it,) but having explicit conversations with someone you've never met before in this light is a potentially dangerous situation. This is also why screening has traditionally been so important to so many ladies. I know lots of ladies in the newer crop don't screen as extensively, but when someone does, trying to have explicit conversation without revealing who you are is just not going to work.

Lastly, negotiating rates... *sigh* lets not even go there. I just had a guy call me, for the 2nd time, finally agreed to screening, after having been reminded of my rates... then he immediately asked for almost half off my rate because he couldn't afford it. THEN he offered me 200 more than my hourly rate... but only if I would give him 2 hours because since I'm a porn star he wants to enjoy as much time as he could with me. I reminded him that if he could afford more than my hourly rate, he could afford my hourly rate. Agreed? I know everyone is out for a deal and a good time. But I had to inform this guy that his attempting to negotiate my rate simply because he wanted to pay less, and having never even met me before - makes me less interested in seeing him. And so I declined.

I wish more guys would do their research before picking up a phone. It would make things SO much easier.

My theory is there are too many ladies out there to have to be negiotiating rates. Even though I love porn ladies 35+ in age I find the young ones are the quickest to drop their rate. Probably because they cannot manage their money and they spend it as quickly as they get it. These same ladies make it harder on other girls who are trying to get a certain amount per hour.

I have no problem with a guy saying BEFORE screening "My budget is this and can you work with this". If some big bill is due (like Rent)than he may get a positive response. In this economy you will find plenty of ladies who will work within your budget.

Rusty

Thanks Mr. French. That was awesome. I think many guys have become so comfortable with the online presence of ad malls like Eros, Exotics, Cityvibe, etc. that they have forgotten the reality of what the activity. I'm actually happy Jeffkle posted his response. It sheds a little light on some of the reason why many ladies chose to book through agencies or hire assistants to screen their calls for them. Something I am about to do again... Of course it means the price increases and there is less of a "personal" touch when you lose access to calling the woman directly, but sometimes... its necessary.

You're probably right, and honestly, it's probably as much about the approach you take and the gut feeling the lady has about you, especially if you're a known good guy. Even better if the girls are talking about you (in a good way) amongst themselves.

Absolutely. That wasn't the issue here... this was someone that inquired about my rates, went through the screening process, albeit reluctantly, then decided he didn't want to pay my rate and basically badgered me to accept something less - simply because he didn't WANT to pay my rate. I finally just explained that haggling isn't a turn on.

That was the other thing... I've never even met this guy and he has zero references. So its not like he's a "known good guy" or even an existing client. smh...

And decided to go ahead and respond. Without knowing where you are located, I will assume you are in the United States for purpose of this conversation. In many other countries, including England, France, Australia, Denmark, Holland and other parts of Europe where prostitution is decriminalized or legalized, this discussion would be very different. The discussion of sex in exchange for money isn't an issue, neither is the act itself. Unfortunately, here in the US, things are different. With the exception of Nevada brothels & licensed sex workers, there is no place else in the United States where prostitution as sex work is legal. It should be noted that Clark County, where Las Vegas is located, does NOT have legalized prostitution. So despite the number of girls working the casinos, the streets or the ads in the Yellow Pages, the rule of thumb still applies.. most ladies and agencies will not discuss anything explicit with someone they do not know.

It saddens me that you believe that a conversation is not going to get you in trouble. My suggestion? Research so you don't find yourself in trouble one of these days. Also, take note that even using code words and phrases, such as "greek" "bbbj" and the like, are recognized by law enforcement as discussing sex for money and will land you in jail. Don't believe me? Ask the many men across the United States that have been paraded into courtrooms or had their photos plastered on billboards and in newspapers for having been arrested as a "John." These people never had the opportunity to engage in sexual activity with the undercover cops that busted them... they merely agreed to an act and went directly to jail.

Now, moving on to your argument that you have every right to choose what you will pay. Agreed. Likewise, ladies have the right to charge what they wish. There are certain times when negotiation is expected. For example, you might barter at a farmer's market, but the clerk or manager at a grocery chain or restaurant will look at you crazy if you try to negotiate your bill. While you may not need to eat caviar or hummus or free range organic meats, the touch of Egyptian cotton towels and you certainly may not need an Aston Martin or Rolls Royce to get around to work and errands when a Honda or Chrysler will certainly due, some people happen to enjoy the taste, feel or speed of luxury. Do most of us turn our noses up at "The Jones'" because of their ability to pay for luxury? No... we try to keep up with them. Funny thing about those that charge beyond what the market will bear... there is still someone out there willing to spend the money.

I believe you are mistaken in thinking you are a "buyer." You are actually leasing, not buying. And we all know that when you lease you often spend more than the real purchase price of the item. The fact remains... in this industry there are ladies that charge $60/ 15 minutes or $150/ 30 minutes on Backpage that probably see 15 or 20 guys a day and I'm sure make WAY more money than I do based on the sheer volume they do. There are also ladies that charge $1500/ hour or $1000/ 2 hour minimum that don't have a single video credit to their name... There is someone out there for everyone, if you look hard enough, you'll find it. The point of my post was to express two things; 1) the type of conversations that lead to legal trouble and 2) the problem with haggling over money with someone that you ultimately intend to spend intimate time with. If you The solution is simple, if the lady you are interested in seeing is out of your comfort range, simply walk away instead of insisting that she lower her rate because you want to see her... as was the situation I spoke of earlier with my caller.

Lastly, if you do enjoy your hand, more than the company of a real, live woman, then by all means... do so. It would say a lot in terms of explaining your aggression in this post.

all the best,
Sinny