Sweet Looking Wee-Wee!

Tom's dream was to marry a sweet, innocent virgin. He'd been going with Jane for a few months, when he decided to test her. As they drove along in the car, he unzipped his fly, turned to her and said, "Do you want to see my wee-wee?"

She yelled, "No! No! Please zip up your fly!"

Instead of being annoyed, Tom was happy.

On the eve of their engagement to be married, he tried the same thing, with the same result.

Finally, on their wedding night, they were alone in the hotel room when he unzipped his fly again and said to her, "Honey, now that we're married you can now look at what I've got here," and proceeded to take out his dick.

She looked at it and said, "Oh, what a sweet looking wee-wee!"

Tom said, "No darling--you don't have to call it a wee-wee anymore; you can call it a cock."

She looked at it a while and then said, "No, Tom, what you have 'is' a wee-wee." A 'cock' is long, thick, and black!"

Why is it that the Leprechauns are always laughing when running through the grass?

Because the grass is always tickling their nuts!

There was an old sailor man that walked up to the Texas Whore House and knocked on the door.

Madam answered the door and said, how may I help you?

He said, I would like to have one of your girls please.

Madam said, oh no, none of my girls would want to be with you, you're too old.

He said, I know I'm old, but I want to give it another try. I'm begging you, I will pay extra, do what ever you want me to do, just please give me one of your girls.

So, she said, fine, to shut you up, I will take care of you myself.

A few minutes goes by, and he said, well Madam, how am I doing so far?

Madam said, you're about 3 knots.

He said, 3 knots, what's that?

Madam says, you're not in, you're not hard, and you're not getting your darn money back. Lol!

APRIL FOOL!

See, Ashley, it's only an April Fool's Joke if...

01)  It is a scientifically plausible lie
02)  You do not tell anyone it is a lie until after they have fallen for it -- just as anyone who has bothered to read this post has fallen for this April Fool's joke

Oh, you gullible children, you....