Lana in Philly, 2005

About the "pissed off about my blog" post.

I had a few too many Hendrix martinis that night...

Sorry about that!, but thanks for the responses!

-- Modified on 7/14/2009 9:50:18 PM

me thinks we've now established that you may be an "angry drunk"

just kidding of course .. but quit apologizing!

LOL

Eddie, you seem like a fun guy and you are a good writer.  I would like to buy you a drink sometime.  But these girls only like money and good reviews from influential reviewers.  Catch my drift?

Yes, Of course I've met many PSEs who were looking for good reviews and/or help with their careers, but many of the girls I'm writing about are out of the business and have nothing to gain by maintaining a relationship but remain close friends or more.

If you approach this hobby with a cynical point of view, the opportunist is the only kind of girl you'll meet.    

But if you treat a provider like any other woman and show her respect, you'd be suprised to find that a PSE is a human being who responds to being treated well like any other woman.

I've met PSEs for dinner and "more" who specifically asked me NOT to mention we had been together because they didn't want it known that they would see anyone in a non-financial situation.

Several PSEs like Ava Devine and Kitty Yung have married former clients and if you check out the Erotic Highway forum on TER you'll find many posts by providers who have fallen in love with a client.

Before discovering PSEs, I had a relationship with a local Philly provider that started out as provider/client and ended as a non-financial situation, and this was WAY before I had ever been on the internet, ever heard of TER or knew about review sites.

So I have to respectfully disagree with your point of view.

I've been doing this quite a while myself, in the Northeast with TER and in the South way before I knew about TER or that I could have PSEs. In those early days there were good relationships I developed that went beyond sessions.

Now, with TER and the select PSEs that I've seen, I can back up what Eddie is saying. Although I don't have the vast PSE knowledge and insight that Eddie has, I agree it cones down to a mindset. PSE's are people too and because their lives are surreal, if -you- make the effort to be that much more kind, appreciative and understanding - it goes a long way. This doesn't apply to all PSEs, as some are totally career ladder motivated, but the good gals know when they are being put on a pedestal by gentleman that admire their beauty and grace. And by the way, the act of putting a beautiful PSE gal on a pedestal isn't always about lavishing them with expensive gifts, be imaginative and creative with your appreciation for them and good things might just come from it.

nycad

i believe what you and Eddie say (you sweet princes you!  but the statistics don't quite agree with you guys

which of course, does NOT contradict anything either of you have said.  

there *always* are a few good apples in every bunch. question is if you randomly picked one out which type of apple is it likely to be?

i'm willing to bet in all our hobbying lives we've come across *more* ROBs, kooks and crooks than the sweet flowers of humanity you describe! LOL

now, should this statistical fact deter you guys from sticking to your golden rule. probably not.

I'm glad that Lana is living "happily ever after" but too bad we in the hobby are without her amazing abilities.

There are some girls who are genuinely nice, others just looking for good reviews and furtherance of her career; so what does that mean?

You have nothing to lose from treating them with respect and being genuinely nice and treating them like people. They aren't going to treat you any worse because you do it, so you only have an upside. Either it won't make a difference or they will treat you way better;  there is no downside.

There is one girl who I saw once (not really a PSE) who was having some problems, the session wasn't that great because she was going through some stuff. I could have been pissed off and left, but instead I tried to help her out and I was nice. Now I pay pretty much what I want, we go to lunch together sometimes, and we have actually become friends.

What did this cost me? About 10 minutes of my day and being really nice.

that is the point! in one word

i (try to) apply the golden rule to every area of my personal and professional life, except when it involves the illicit transfer of money for hobby services (the type of exchange you have no legal recourse over)


btw just to clarify my perceived pessimism a bit better (cuz i *SO* care what you guys think of me! LOL):

i'm not talking about any *one* person's "super-fantastic" experienes with escorts -- esp. Eddie's whose hefty reputation eventually skewed most of his encounters towards a favorable outcome. like what pornstar in their right mind is going to screw with Eddie (the moderator of the PS board!). Eddie is not the typical hobbyist, period!


i'm talking about the entire population of hobbyists as a whole (so try not to make this personal, about you and *your* experiences)

there's this phenomenon called "selection bias" which (to make it short) says: "i've had nothing but pleasant experiences with escorts, hence all escorts must be pleasant"

you really have to step outside yourself to see the bigger picture (which i admit is hard to do) esp. if you've happened to had nothing but (or mostly) great encounters in this hobby


for the record, i consider myself as one of the luckier "nice guys" believe it or not! (i've had very few mishaps) so i'm *not* speaking from bitter experiences at all!

I guess my point was that you already spent the money anyway, if you treat them nice and have a bad experience, you are done. If you have a good one, you keep going. Treating them well can only help.

I'm not saying if you treat them well, they will be great, I'm just saying that if you do, it won't make you worst off.

We constantly hear about girls that are crazy and flaky on the board, so the bad ones get ousted.

I have been escorting since 1998 and I have made friends with many of the men that I have escorted with.

One of my best clients is one of my best friends and he has been seeing me since 1998.  We do "sessions" together, but we also socialize as friends as well.

But even if I am only seeing someone for a one shot deal, I always want to make sure that the are having a great time with me.  I try to make them feel as if they are having a lovely evening with an old friend.  

A lot of my fans feel like they already know me through watching my movies and I want them to feel relaxed and comfortable with me.

I have many loyal clients that see me year after year because I definitely know how to make a man let go of all his cares in the world for the short time that we are together.

I see myself as a specialized type of spa treatment.  A little mini vacation from reality.  After people see me, they feel refreshed and ready to head back to the grind of their normal life.

I've gone out to lunch with Eddie when I'm in his area, just to say hi and hang out because he's such a sweet guy.

Any body who has been with me knows that I really go the extra mile to make the people that come to see me have a really lovely time.

Kisses,
Keisha

I'm not disagreeing with your point of view.  My point was that the guy who called me delusional had no idea about me or the girls I've developed relationships with.  My point was that while most PSEs are in it strictly for the money, not all of them are.

I always enjoyed our lunches together.  And I miss them!  Hope you get back this way one day soon.

I've become friends with a few porn stars, and while it's great and all. I sometimes wonder if these women actually WANT their "clients" as friends. I remember reading a blog by a provider on another board that was actually didn't like when her clients tried to become friends with her because, as she put it, she was in this business to get laid and make money, not make friends. She already has plenty of friends! So while I really enjoy trying to form a friendship with some of the women that I'm with, I often wonder if sometimes I might be pushing it too far by trying to become friends as well as a "client" with some of these women.

I agree 100%... That's why when it comes to things like these, I let the girl make the first move like say she wants to exchange personal numbers and/or e-mails, or I'll tell her I want to see her again and if she doesn't give me her personal info, I know it won't go anywhere.

Trying to force it sucks and can get weird. If the girl wants to keep it just business she can, if you get along and she wants something she'll make it decently obvious enough.

I only had this happen with me and a provider twice. I'm still friends with one, the other one kind of dropped off so I didn't contact her anymore. It became obvious that she didn't want anything else (I actually think she retired).

They become friends with you.  It's awkward and in the long run probably fruitless to "try to form a friendship".  Either it happens or it doesn't, but if the lady is looking to move beyond mere provider/client, she'll let it be known.

BTW, maybe I didn't make this clear, but while I've gone beyond a financial arrangement with some PSEs, there are others who I remain a paying client of and still have what I consider to be a friendship in that we call and email each other to chat and will grab dinner and/or hang out when they're in town and I'm not booking them...

I couldnt agree more