I hope this isnt off topic too much.  I met a pornstar(identity witheld)in July of last year.  I knew it was her but didnt acknowledge her in that way but rather approached her like I would any other girl.  She looks like girl next door and is truly beautiful.  I hooked up with her and began dating her without ever revealing that I knew about her past.  It was exciting to me and she has never revealed her past to me either.  Obviously, I know that this will eventually come out and Im sure that she is afraid to tell me for fear of repurcussions.  I never expected to fall in love with her.  I am a good looking guy, make great money and have never had a problem with the ladies.  I dont mean this in an arrogant fashion but only as an indication that I dont have to settle for just anyone.  I never in my wildest dreams expected to fall in love with her but now Im fucked because I have. In the back of my mind I always said that I would just move on after I had my fun.  I kept seeing other women and continued to have sex with them but I can get this girl out of mind or my heart. I have done extensive research on her and she is not active at the moment and did limited boy/girl work but the the fact of the matter is she did and she is easily found on the web.  Im haunted by this but cant let go.  Ive thought many times of just telling her what I know and breaking up with her for not telling me but I havent for whatever reason.  Every time I take this girl to parties or out with friends, family, etc.  Im in complete fear of someone discovering who she is.  I know this sounds pathetic and is just a an outlet for my feelings but I would appreciate feedback.  Thanks

Reating porn star

Oh, come on!  How can you dump her for being dishonest when you have done the same thing?????
Get it together and tell her what you know.  
If you really love her like you say it shouldn't matter what your friends and family might say.
Besides if your friends and family really love you, they will want you to be happy.
Good luck.

Reating porn star

You told us that you are ashamed of her,"Im in complete fear of someone discovering who she is", thats not love, move on and get over it, befor someone tells your mother what you have been up to,cavorting with porn stars, you should be totally disgusted with yourself.

as always

Happy Hunting

-- Modified on 2/1/2006 1:26:51 PM

-- Modified on 2/1/2006 1:30:07 PM

Reating porn star

What follows may sound harsh.  I don't mean it to be that way but you asked for feedback so here it is:

I've got to agree with the previous posts.  You've been just as dishonest as she's been in holding back what you've known from the beginnin.  At the very beginning, I think we can understand not bringing it up with her because she may get that a lot and may have wanted to move on with the rest of her life.  But, at some point, as your relationship was progressing, and presumeably there a certain level of trust had developed between the two of you, it seems like it should have come up.

With that said, if you really loveed her for the person she is (and not for how she previously made a living), you wouldn't care about what your mother, family, friends, etc. might think about it.  If after all this time you are still "living in fear of someone discovering who she is", then I think you've answered your own question as to the future of this relationship.

Smart Ass!

Reating porn star

I hope the fact that I find this extremely hilariuos doesn't mean I am as nuts as you!

Reating porn star

If you are 100% sure that she is a porn star and she is no longer doing something that she enjoyed and was profitable at, to be with you, then you do not realize how lucky you ARE!!!
Why are you in fear of her being discovered? What are the odds that someone will recognize her. What are the odds at your next social dinner you will meet a guy or couple come out and say, Hey aren't you the girl in (same wild porno title) #69, I beat my meat to you when my wife goes vegitarian on me! One in a million and if why do, they can only look at her, while you get to go home with her!
OY, you want advice, then enjoy the fact you found someone that loves you for who you are and forget what other people think about you or her. Everyone has their opinions and the only two that should matter is you and hers. Ever think that she might have left porn for you?

Just enjoy the fact that you are with a lady that other men could only dream about meeting and if a few people find out, it'll only helps to boost your ego. Wonder if Mia Domore does reunions, lol

Best of Luck,
Ken

Reating porn star

Mia you told me once that all the women in this business were crazy including you and now I know it is true.

as always

Happy Hunting

Reating porn star

Perhaps you can suddenly "discover" some pictures of her on the internet as an ice breaker? If she has feelings for you, she's probably just as worried that you will eventually discover her past. I think it's important at some point for the 2 of you to acknowledge it. I can see how you may not want to admit that you've known it all along, so act like you've just discovered it.

Sly

Reating porn star

I think this is quite simple. Say that you have found out that she looks like a pornstar. Before you jump to conclusions, ask her if she is "The Kinky Dominator" or whatever name she used. She will admit it or not. It really should not matter to you.  If she isn't but looks like TKD, you have your answer, she is not.l If she admits it, then you two work out what you both will say. As long as you are both happy with the answer that is all that matters. It is ok to have these feelings. I hire a lot of models and some actresses. Sometimes there is a pornstar in the group auditioning. I personally love it because they look fabulous and if they can model all the better.  The other models some how know she is and have a fit. The only purpose of telling you this, if she is the pornstar don't lie. That is an ever deepening hole that you will never get out of. Be proud of the fact that she made good money and took care of herself. If you can not handle it, you must get out of the relationship.  Remember, she if you marry she is thinking how she can change you and fix you and make you perfect, but you will not change. You are marrying her for what she is and once you have kids she will change. That is the real problem with marriage that you must deal with. Good luck. Your story is fabulous. We want to know what you end up doing.
Dah Dude

If you really like her, you better come clean and tell her what you know. If you can't do that or if she can't acknowledge it then you have no basis for a relationship moving forward anyway.

If you are REALLY serious with her, you might want to think about what it would be like in 10 years to have the mother of your children have a PS past.

Reating porn star

Hey JL

You're kinda bein a dick, but then again that IS your moniker. Relatively tongue in cheek.....

Reating porn star

OK, Jim, I know that barb was actually pointed towards me.  Stick with the topic.

Reating porn star

My first time posting to one of these discussion being a newbie, but here goes.
 Is there anyway this can be turned into an advantage, an opportunity to establish more trust and openness with each other?  I usually try to open with my side the street, "You know, I haven't been totally honest with you about some stuff . . ." and the suggestion above about the "you look like . . " and is this something we can talk about or is it off limits?  Ask her what she thinks would be the best way to handle it if someone outed her at dinner.  She might have some great ideas and you are working on the problem as a couple, not two camps.
 If you don't like the way the conversation goes then your choices get easier.
Good luck.

You're dating and getting regular carnal knowledge with a porn star.   That's better than winning the Nobel prize.   Take two aspirin and enjoy life.

Reating porn star

I think some things are better just left alone, when the time is right I think she will do the right thing and tell you.

If she is not active in the business, maybe this is a part in her life she wanted to put behind her.  I think bringing this up to her can do more harm than good because them she might think you only like her because she was a porn star.  If she brings it up to you, and you accecpt it, she thinks you like her for who she is and not what she did in the past.

But having her around your friends and family is a big step.  I know an SP who has been dating a guy for the past 3 years and she never does anything with his family.  They are susposed to get married, but how are you susposed to get married to a girl when your afraid to have them around your own family.

Reating porn star

What if his family then tells him that he needs to accept Jesus Christ as his savior and that they're going to arrange for him to marry a devout girl from the old country?

Reating porn star

Well Dude,
  I am too in a strange situation. Yes I a have been dating a PS for two years on and off she has not done a movie she says in 3 years. But I know everything about her past and she knows I know. I am cool about the past because you must focus on the now not the past. But the problem is most of these girls have other issues. But don't judge her on anything except honesty. That means you too! Good luck!!!!

And we will all have sweet dreams of Babylon.

as always

Happy Hunting

Reating porn star

Bad advice. The truth shall free her. Knowing the truth shall free him. They can join forces and deal with the issue. If she has pictures floating around on the WWW for sure she will be outed sooner or later. Think of how uncomfortable everyone will be when some drunk comes up and says he loved her last CD where she was sucking xxxxxxx .

Translation:  Pornstar honesty?  Bwahahahaha!

Dudes,
    I am serious. She was a major player over 300 films. But thats not why I like her. I like her for her. So who cares about the past. But seriously they are all alittle screwed up in the head

Reating porn star

I think that 'having issues' is often an understatement.I have dated and lived with several porn stars(some of whom were escorts too).The 'issues' will probably not come out straight away,but they will come out!!

Jet Black: Betrayal may come easily to women, but men live by iron-clad codes of honor.

Faye Valentine: You really believe that?

Jet Black: I'm trying to, real hard.

I originally intended to go with a quote from #21 but forgot to change the heading after I changed my mind.

Reating porn star

you have created quite a storm of replies, some humorous, some caring, some damn good advice and some outrageious.

What are you going to do?

Dah dude