Does anyone have any thoughts/advice on the following UTR situation.

I have been in contact with a UTR off and on for about a year, and am finally at the point of arranging a rendezvous. Now, here's what gives me pause: she has asked for money a few times, normally couched in emergency terms, regarding rent, phone bills, even some industry expenses. The requests always seemed sincere, and I while I am not completely naive, I did not mind accommodating most of them, sending cash on certain occasions. When I did not comply on a few occasions, she understood, and said it was no problem. I fully understood that I might be

This occurred last year, nor has it continued as a running request whenever I have corresponded with her, mostly via email, although I have spoken on the phone occasionally.  

Now, recently I contacted her about an upcoming trip to her area, and she expressed a desire to "pay back" my aid -- although I did give those sums out a desire to help a young lady who appeared to be in need.

I am looking forward to meeting this young lady, but the foregoing history does give me some second thoughts. I guess I'm just worried that she's hiding something, or is into something troubling.

Since there is no way to check out her reputation due to the UTR status, I thought I would see whether anyone here might have some thoughts. Particularly, do you think my apprehension is warranted?

Let's be realistic.

If this girl is any good, she's bathing in $100 bills.

If she's hitting you up for $$ long in advance of any service, something isn't right with the picture.

I don't think your apprehension is all that warranted.  Many of these girls struggle to pay their bills and I know of a few hobbyists who have helped a girl out occasionally.

As long as she hasn't made a habit of it, and by your accounts she hasn't, I wouldn't worry about it.  And the fact that she seems willing and even eager to make it up to you is a good sign.

Go for it.

frankly, you should *never* have "loaned" money to a UTR you've never even seen! period. most guys balk at putting down a deposit and here you are making charitable loans!?  

you should've posed that question to this board a year ago, before going down that road, but ok, i understand, it's a done deal now

in the most mitigating of circumstances i can almost (but not quite) see doing something like that BUT ONLY with a gal who's my *regular* and even then it's a sure-fire recipe for future disappointments

i suppose it's now a coin-toss what her real intentions are: maybe just to "play nice" so she can keep borrowing from you, or to really pay you back every red cent! what does your gut tell you? which do you think is the more likely scenario?  

or rather, how many *other* guys out there do you think may be in the same position she put you in?

I've make loan to 2 UTR and I'll will never do it again.One get married and will not pay me back,the other want more and more!


-- Modified on 7/13/2009 12:00:53 PM

I agree with Eddie.  If it were me, I would have been more apprehensive about sending the money to a PSE you've never seen and had no relationship with other than exchanging emails.  If you were okay with that, then you should okay with letting her pay back your help.  Afterall, before she said you wanted to pay back your help, you contacted here directly about getting together when you were in town.  

The real question becomes what do you do if you get to her area and she wants you to pay her full rate or gives you a slightly discounted rate that is not the equivalent to what you've sent to her.

The truth is that a number of girls in the industry have money issues.  For every Jenna, Terra or similar adult starlet that has big $$$ through the industry and/or those that do manage their money well, there are many that can struggle at times to make ends meet.  Many come into the industry young and then suddenly are "living the lifestyle" but cannot sustain it if the work dries up, which we know has happened with the economy generally and the ease of access to free porn specifically.  Then there are always the other possible drains on their funds (e.g. hanger-on husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, family member(s), etc.).

You have already given her money and she wants to "pay it back" when you visit her area. This is easy. Have her meet you at your hotel and see what happens. At worst, you'll have to pay for your session. The apprehension would have been about giving the money; now that you already have, see what happens.

Just look out at the peep hole when she rings your bell.

You loaned her $ last year no you are apprehensive about meeting her, why?

If you are concerned about your safety then, why don't you meet her for lunch, dinner, etc.

I have helped providers before and never thought twice about it. My premise always is everyone is good until proven otherwise.

Helping others is not bad idea.

The idea of just giving cash to a lady  as an "accomodation" is just mind boggling. Why you would give $$ to someone, hell someone you've never even seen yet is beyond me.

With that said, at this point I don't really see why you would be so apprehensive. Consider this a chance to finally collect payment (one way or another  lol) on what you have already done. Consider this the windfall for your investments.

And I don't necessarily think she may be hiding anything. Porn is down just like the economy and if she's not a big name star she may be struggling to make ends meet on occasion. It's not uncommon these days for those that are starting out or not as famous, popular or well known to go through this.

Thanks for the input - all quite helpful. Yes, I realize it seems foolish to give money under the circumstances described, but I did so out of a genuine concern, and had nixed the quid pro quo rationale.

Basically, I'm planning to meet for a dinner of drinks in a public place where I'll be able to assess things firsthand. If I sense that anything is wrong, I'll end it right there, with no regrets. If everything seems great (and that is my sincere hope), then I have a very nice luxury suite where I'll be staying, and will have an additional little present waiting for her there.

Thanks again for the input!

"My premise always is everyone is good until proven otherwise."


that's admirable but frankly i find the reverse premise more often than not saves you money!

from car mechanics, to lawyers, to doctors, to pornstars, or what-have-you (in short, anytime *money* is involved)

sorry to hear you have such a situation at hand. I have dealt with these kinds of deals in the past. I have "helped" some girls out in the past when their "cars broke down" or they had to "pay the rent" or whatever excuse they could come up with. Although only with providers I was actually seeing often. I wasn't naive enough to think that their requests were real. Mostly it has been with girls with serious drug problems. Really hot nasty girls that fucked like their lives depended on it. So I helped them get their candy as long as I got reciprocal services. Sure she could be just a nice young girl in need of a helping hand who has just chosen a career in porn. Or she could be a druggy who can't hold any job but as a pornstar or escort.

First, if you re-read his post, they weren't loans... he GAVE her the money.

Also, the fact that she hasn't continued to hit him up for cash on a regular basis is a point in her favor.

I've either given money or lent money to three providers... I'm not talking huge sums, but they weren't pocket change either.  I give a girl (who I had only met once) $500 for her rent, and since then she's NEVER charged me to be with her, and I've been with her a LOT, so it was money well spent.  the fact that I was willing to bail her out when she needed it made an impression on her and we've been close friends and lovers ever since.  

I've paid airfare for a girl (not to come to Philly, but to a different town) once on the promise that she'd add Philly to her next tour stop and credit me the cost of the flight when we got together.  When something came up and she couldn't make it to Philly I received a Fed-Ex letter two days later containing the amount I had paid for her flight, in cash and to the penny.

And I paid airfare for another girl to get to NYC for a tour and she spent 24 hours with me, for the cost of a $580 plane ticket.

I wouldn't do this for every PSE I meet, and probably wouldn't have done it for someone I hadn't met previously, but the times I have done it was on the gut instinct that I felt she wouldn't cheat me, and to date I've NEVER been stiffed by a PSE. (I've been MADE stiff by those same PSEs, but that an entirely different thing! lol)

-- Modified on 7/13/2009 9:39:22 PM

Agree with sublime. Plenty of "UTR" gals out there, who, for a variety of reasons (oftentimes drug habit/addiction), will provide services. And, as he wrote, they DO fuck like their lives depend on it. Fucking someone's brains out is the one thing they have left to sell.

But....... if the requests are only occasional and not an "all of the time" thing, then, by all means, go for it. The caveat is that your cellphone, email, etc. may start getting blown up at any time. But........damn, a lot of these girls do know how to fuck.

if you really want to see if she is legit or just pulling your chain, ask her to sign a promissary note the next time she asks.
Anything concerning money and the promise of services should be agreed to and signed.
Because after all, this is a loan to see her through tough times not the other thing.