So I had a bad experience yesterday. Was supposed to meet with Helena Sweet for an overnight. She was going to drive from LA to San Diego to meet me never showed up, no response to emails. She did however respond to emails from a 2nd account I created. I knew something was amiss when she last minute wanted a deposit of 1500, said that was  outrageous. Sent her a deposit of 300. Funny thing is I have bank account #, real name and address of account holder, if the information is legitimate. I hope the 300 was worth basically ruining her reputation. I would avoid her at all costs. Members of TER think with your big head and book with providers who are well-reviewed.

Man, that really sucks! I feel for you, but want to thank you for posting what happened. I was thinking of seeing her....this is what this board is all about.

She was so nice via email and always responded promptly. Thought she was actually going to show. I thought since she was going to drive from LA to SD to meet me a deposit would be necessary.

Sorry to hear this happened Nick.  

Last year I did the same thing with a well known PSE and the service was mediocre.  

It can happen to anyone, well reviewed or not. It is just one of the bump in this hobby.

Ken

unfortunately I used cash to make he deposit

My sound advice is to NEVER EVER give a deposit to ANY provider, even if you've seen her before and fully trust her

Years ago, before the internet made hobbying what it is today (thank GOD), and we had to drive around the streets of NYC to pick up a street-walker and go to a hotel for FS, there was a regular that I would meet with once a month, consistently for over 2 years

One day she called me stating she was stuck in Vegas and needed a $300 Western Union transfer to her, and she PROMISED to make it up to me

A month later she planned a meeting with me at her hotel in NJ where she pulled a no show, after I drove almost 2 hours to her NJ hotel location, only to call her cell phone a dozen times before she turned it off

Never got my $300, never saw her again, and will NEVER EVER do an advance wire transfer to ANYONE

So much for our 2-year relationship we had

Hope you all read this and follow this simple rule

Her asking deposit was what it was, you didn't pay it.  If I was a porn star provider, there's no way in hell Id take the chance of driving all the way down to San Diego for an overnight for a measly $300 deposit. Too many flaky guys out there, it probably rubbed her the wrong way, she felt that the gig was sketchy and she said fuck it.   She asked for $1500, I would have paid $1500 via credit card so you could chargeback if it wasn't legit or no-showed (provided she would make that payment option possible).  Give her the chance to refund the deposit, Im sure she'll get around to it, but $300 isn't enough money to piss your pants over.  There's always two sides to a story.

If you quoted someone a price for your services, and they said it was too much, then sent you a fifth of what you asked for, wouldn't you be insulted?

Unfortunately you are completely wrong here. There is no her side of the story because she has not responded it to any of my emails. She checked me ou here on TER and asked for references so she knew I was serious. I am not upset about being out the 300 I just wanted to warn everyone else about her. In order to refund me she needs to respond to any of my emails. Credit card deposit was not an option the only option was a direct deposit into the account.

The quote was not for her services but for a deposit. She never said she had a problem with the lower amount she jut wanted something to make sure I was serious. Besides even if my 300 deposit insulted her that justifies her taking it and not following through?

You got screwed Nick!  Don't listen to these idiots that are trying to make excuses for this thief, because that's what she is.

The most glaring eveidence is that she IGNORED your e-mails, then when you tried again with an address she didn't recognize, she immediately got back to you.

Hope you liked the $300 blondie because all the intelligent hobbyists will now blackball you.

I stand corrected then.

I went back and forth with Nick which is very nice and scheduled to go to san diego for overnight. I have been in this situation before and drove hours for overnights and last minute guys where nowhere to be found .. i always thought providers would do this to clients not other way around.

I did ask for deposit for first time to assure and did ask for 1500 so I know for sure. I was still scared and worried even after 300 .. i was scared to go through these past situations I had before. Im sorry to Nick and will email him so I can refund his 300.

I know I will get negative feed back after this post but like I said did not want to go through guys flaking out on me after driving hours.

I am in contact with helena right now so please hold onto comments until I update after we have worked something out.

Must make this comment, however. Do not restore her besotted reputation until she has made good. Not with words, but with deeds.

THIS IS WHY I NEVER MAKE DEPOSITS, There are way to many girls out there either porn or not that make it worth me not having to do that

You won't get negative feedback by explaining yourself and coming to terms and solving any misunderstandings you guys had.

You responding is a good thing.

Wait a minute....
If YOU were not willing to make the deposit of $1500, then YOU should have called the whole thing off.
Now you tried to change the deposit to $300 without her approval. And then you think it is strange that she does not live up to her end of the deal?????

I think she is right in not showing up. After all you have to meet her criteria, in this case a deposit of $1500, to meet her. You did not meet them, so IMHO she is 100% correct.
Without a doubt she will refund it to you, reading her reply here on the board, but this situation is your fault, not hers!

Just my 0.02....

Helena, all you had to do, once you had accepted his deposit (however small/large it was), was respond to his emails, be communicative.  Prior to that (prior to accepting his deposit), you should have been honest and say that you did not feel comfortable going through with the appointment because of the reasons you gave in your message.  That's all.  Honesty can save you lots of headaches.  Not to worry.  You're not taking his money.  People are worried when providers request a deposit ... and they're never heard from or seen again.  Be well.

Learn a lesson on paying cash - always send via US Mail overnight delivery with signed primary party receipt required if you must pay cash. Put cash in mailer in front of US Mail employee at counter and have him sign he saw it go in the envelope/mailer. If the receiver flakes like this, you have a witness to mail fraud and the US Postal Inspecter will make their life miserable. This goes for eBay and other purchases requiring or requesting cash only. Postal fraud inspecters have lots of powers to trace fraud that do not require warrants (i.e. above the law).

Now, would any of us really want to try a chargeback on our credit cards for a hobby related charge?  My experience on chargebacks on merchandise is that the card company gives you a temporary credit while they investigate your assertions and let the merchant tell their side of the story.  Now, what do you think a provider who has just had your deposit pulled out of their bank account is going to say about the transaction and you?  That's a scary thought, frought with risk.  If the true nature of your charge becomes known to the card company, just remember that many card companies are going beyond payment history and income and making credit decisions (including reduction of credit lines and cancellation of cards) based upon where you charge and what your charge.

This seems to have been largely a series of miscommunications...SFNick probably shouldn't have sent the $300 unless they had discussed and agreed upon it as a sufficient deposit to protect Helena in the event she made the drive to SD and he did not show.  If Helena had concerns about making the drive from L.A. to SD, she probably should have made those clearer or just said she didn't want to do it on a first meeting.  And, when she received the $300, she probably should have contacted SFNick immediately to send it back if she didn't feel it was sufficient to make her feel secure about making the drive.  While the agencies are often bashed here for adding to the PSE's rate, this is they type of thing that is less likely to happen using an agency.

With all of that said, one suggestion to avoid all of this would be not to schedule an overnight for the first meeting.  Do an hour "trial run" and meet in the middle (e.g. Orange County).  Its possible it might just not "click" between SFNick and Helena but if it does, the overnight can then be scheduled but the PSE and client are hopefully more secure with knowing what the other is like.  Just a suggestion.

That's a good idea. Without any previous contact or screening (even if it's just a referral) the provider is taking a big risk.

I'm not saying that's what happened in this case, but it's a good idea in general.

when you get it all sorted out with FriscoNick

-- Modified on 7/24/2009 3:01:15 PM