I find it very sad that Kathy and Robbin's efforts were treated so abysmally during such a sad time. Both ladies have demonstrated their class over this issue, and what true friends they were to Eddie.
As many of you know R.Y and myself have been working hard to try and gather all the neccessary information regarding Eddie's funeral arrangements.
Myself and R.Y. have decided to distance ourselves from this situation for several reasons.
Please go to Eddie's group and read the post by R.Y., she explains in great detail why we have had to make this difficult decision.
Due to the appauling attitude from Eddie's long time friend/attorney about our community we no longer feel comfortable asking for donations from a community who loved Eddie so much.
His statement was direct, he will take our donations but he doesn't want any prostitutes, whores, and pimps showing up at the memorial services, so he has chosen to have the services private for close friends and family.
When RY and I decided to help, we were under the impression that Eddie had no family or friends willing to claim his body or pay for his burial, so both of us after talking decided that we would ask our community who loved Eddie to help out.
After these shocking incidents we have both decided to take a step back.
There is more regarding this situation, please go to Eddie's group for further information from R.Y.
I do want to thank all of you who have e-mailed us both or PM me...... So many of you offered your help and money to assure that Eddie would have a proper burial and memorial..
At this time I strongly feel the idea that Bridgette Monroe had,, to have a memorial service during AVN would be something that would make Eddie smile down on us.
Again, thank you everyone... Love Kathy
Your hearts were in the right place, but as you can see, not everyone shares that view. The response you got was a text book response of mainstream society clashing with our sub-culture of hobbyist and providers. Eddie was a vanguard among our sub-culture and it looks as though this friend / attorney would prefer to turn a blind eye to that fact.
As per a memorial mentioned by Bridgette, that's a fine idea. In the initial thread of tributes to Eddie's passing, I thought it would be moving enough to hold our glasses up for a toast to Eddie at the Circle Bar at the Venetian - at midnight on the first night of the upcoming AVN.
The location, the place and time of this toast seems to strike the right chord of sincerity to me. The Circle Bar (during AVN) was the place that Eddie liked to hold court, meeting providers and hobbyist alike, swapping stories and making new contacts. It just seems like the right thing to do.
nycad
Your effort was noble and I know that would of meant a lot of Eddie.
I agree I think you did the right thing
Your thoughts and heart were in the proper place and I am sure Eddie knows this.
This second point, from Robbin's post should concern a lot of people. Especially ladies who may have spent time with him.
"2. Attorney Martin Savitzky informed me that Eddie's boss has decided to sell the computer Eddie was using (which was a company computer) for a lucrative profit. I was in shock, hung up, and called his boss. He informed me that he had been going through Eddie's E-mail and computer files and realized that there was some very important information he'd found and "someone" had contacted him in regard to purchasing Eddie's computer. I have no idea who this person is, but I assume it is not law enforcement, as they would just take the computer, not pay for it. I begged him to "do the right thing and destroy the computer" and he refused, saying, "I need money and I've hit the jackpot". I hung up and I will NEVER contact this dirtbag, again!!!"
I don't know what Eddie saved on his computer but it could be a potential Pandora's box. He may have saved e-mails and personal information about providers he had been with. It could be a real clusterf**k.
-- Modified on 5/7/2010 10:57:58 PM
If true, this is incredibly irresponsible and makes me happy that I had as little contact with Eddie as possible. As I recall, he was prone to forgetting who was UTR and who wasnt.
Compiling and passing around his UTR list was a ridiculous breach of trust, and the fact that he kept it on a non-secured and not even privately owned compiuter borders on the absurd. People can laud him all they want, but if other people, particularly the women that entrusted their anonymity with him, get hurt because of this his legacy will be very very different.
Good grief.
IT'S LEGAL HERE IN CANADA AS LONG AS BOTH PARTIES ARE OF LEGAL AGE, AND CONSENTING.
Anybody that knew Eddie, knew that this was his life and you girls were his family.
I hate the myopic, closed mindedness people exhibit in the face of these things.
I am very sorry that you two wonderful ladies were on the receiving end if this.Your hearts were in the right place and we thank you for your efforts.
There could be another point of view in this. There might be folks closed to Eddie who didn't know about his activities. By trying to keep it from these folks and by closing the services, he might be protecting the memories of a different Eddie to others. It could be the action of a really good friend indeed.
For really having had an electronic relationship with Eddie, I was surprise by the feeling of being punched in the stomach and sadness that came over me.
I believe as I interact with people I try to read through the typed words to see what type of person they are. I think it was the fact that Eddie had given his heart and possibly some soul to many people and that is rare in life.
It is unfortunate to the approach of this since I believe a number of people connected to the board were his family and friends. I think your ideas of a tribute is a great one.
... I know better. I would completely agree if that were the case, but unfortunately, it is not.
I read the message on his group and was horrified. i have two quick comments:
1. 99% of all lawyers give the rest a bad name. Mr. Savitzky is clearly in the 99%.
2. I don't know what information the boss found on Eddie's computer. But, it sounds to me like he may be considering "outing" some pornstars and/or hobbiests, or doing something worse (blackmail doesn't sound like it's out of the question) and anyone that shared any private or damaging info with Eddie should contact a lawyer to protect themselves ASAP.
Without meaning any disrespect to the departed, Eddie was a fool to keep any information on a computer he didn't own. At least I know that all of the info I have is on my own personal computer which my Last Will directs to be completely wiped before being resold or disposed of.
But I will say this: one of the first things we did on Sunday when Admin was alerted to Eddie's passing and verified it with some sources was to lock his TER account (so that it could not be used any longer until Admin unlocked it, which obviously won't be happening).
-- Modified on 5/8/2010 7:58:28 AM
I remember how you responded a few years ago when Eddie had to take a leave because of a fire at his house, and how you took charge of raising a fund to help him out.
Now, by helping to organize a tribute to Eddie, you show how special you really are.
God bless you.
I find it very sad that Kathy and Robbin's efforts were treated so abysmally during such a sad time. Both ladies have demonstrated their class over this issue, and what true friends they were to Eddie.
going for him:
(1) The respect of good men (at least here on TER),
(2) and the affection of lovely women.
When you annouced that a funeral would be given - I smiled. I had images of a New Orleans style funeral procession with jazz playing, and his friends from both Eddie's real life and virtual reality (me) celebrating in unison a life, a soul who was so dear to many of us.
What the attorney said was heartbreaking. Thank you and Robbin for being such kind and courageous spirits for Eddie.
-- Modified on 5/8/2010 12:20:40 PM
What MrFrench said is absolutely correct. Anyone who every corresponded with Eddie needs to seriously think about anything they spoke about and how much information of theirs may be on that computer.
The first thing that came to my mind was the UTR List, that Eddie kept and shared only with those with a certain number of reviews and references. That seemed to have garnered some attention over the years, so I imagine that is what the person buying his computer is after. Though obviously there could be other damning info about ladies and hobbyists.
While the lawyers answer and attitude was very rude, as others have mentioned, we need to remember that people outside the hobby view it very differently than we do.
Its also possible that at some point in the past Eddie could have had a falling out with a member/members of his family over his hobbyist activities.
Everyone's hearts (on the hobby side) have absolutely been in the right place though, and Eddie would know that.
-- Modified on 5/8/2010 1:03:21 PM
If the guy shops Ed's list, he is a low life. I could use another adjective but will refrain.
My VIP membership is expiring in a few days; I will let it lapse. I have a very reliable source that I referred to Ed that I will use.
Clearly the end of a period of time!
First, thanks to Robbin Young and Kathy Willets for doing their best honor their friend's memory.
What happens to his myspace page and his blog? His myspace was logged into just 2 weeks ago.
Unless there are emails or phone records that can identify or link real names etc I think most people are safe. Photos could be damaging.
The coveted UTR list - I supposed those on it could just deny any involvement. Wouldn't they be doing that now if they're UTR?
As much as I loved Eddie there are things about him you dont know. Noone will be inplicated in anything. The police did NOT buy anything. All TER has to do is immediatley cancel his account access. Whoever bought it was a person (or in the animal world...a JACKASS)To peruse and be nosey.To make this as abridged as possible, Eddie did not participate in any "activity" in almost a decade. You can tell that from his blogs. He just rehashings the good old days. Again, I will not elaborate on that note. I am a friend. Everything he did was from the Exotica2000 days. Anyone that emailed or PM'd him since that time (2001) was only asking for advice. Nothing different than you do here on the boards and or via reviews. I will not go into detail on certain privated things about Eddie because I love him and will miss him terribly. I love the heart and soul of these ladies helping him but I completely understand where Eddie was coming from. AVN is aired via E channel etc. Everyone would want to know who this Eddie is (I almost put his full name in there) people would dig and it would all come out. Eddie did this in respect for his family. Not to be poking bad thoughts at us. He figured we would understand. We were his LIFE! Trust me on that. I love you all and I am glad to say that Eddie was a part of my life. His guidence and respect will carry in my heart as long as there is breath in my lungs. Eddie, I will be there to toast you off at the Circle Bar. Someone please keep me informed.
If ANYthing should happen to me, please do my family the favor of not showing up to the funeral or telling them how we know each other. But if Kathy Willets wanted to throw an orgy in my honor, that would be cool.... 