That is the question....

There's been a couple of threads over the last few days that discuss PSE's flaking and guys losing their deposits, and a lot has been said about "Never Give A Deposit".

Whether to send deposits or not is a personal decision, and there can be some risk associated with it.  There's no right or wrong answer to the question, but I thought I'd bring up a few points that might not have been considered.

While it's constantly mentioned on this and other boards about pornstars being "flakes" and unreliable, (which admittedly many are), there are also a lot who are very professional and dependable. It's also true that a lot of Hobbyists are  "flakes" and unreliable.  I know independent PSE's who have flown into a city because she had 10 or 12 bookings, and has had 8 or 9 last minute cancellations or no shows...

Even worse, consider this... often the guy will call the girl an hour or less before his booked time and try to renegotiate her rate.  He'll make some excuse that he couldn't get to the bank or that his ATM card didn't work, blah, blah, blah, figuring that if he cancels the lady has an open hour on her hands that she doesn't have enough time to rebook, so she'll take a few hundred less rather than get nothing at all.  This happens a LOT... I've heard it time and time again from more than one pornstar who books independent.y.  (By the way, that's also why many will not book direct... the agencies tend to have a better "show-up ratio, and if she does get cancellations, at least someone else is splitting her expenses).

Most of these ladies didn't start out requiring deposits... it's usually come after she's gotten burned a few times.   It's low life so-called "fans" that have caused her to start requiring deposits.


And keep in mind that a lot of them will waive the deposit requirement if you can provide referrals from other pornstars you've met previously, or if you're a regular contributor to boards like these with a track record of reviews.  

I try to do my homework... There are some ladies I wouldn't send $100 to, and there are other's who I'd feel 100% comfortable pre-paying in full.  I'm not saying you should or shouldn't be willing to give deposits... As I said, It's a personal decision, but I wanted to provide whatever insight I could as to why many ladies do require them.

I think you'll find that basic economics and business sense will always rule the day.  

As expected people will flake on both ends of the spectrum.  Providers that require a deposit will not have to worry about the percentage of customers that no-show.  The possibility exists though, that a deposit-requiring provider will be missing out on substantial business due to the fact that many of her potential customers will now not book an appointment.

Same holds true on the hobbyist end, he will either risk booking and losing the deposit to see his dream date, or will just skip the deposit requiring provider and see someone else.

In the end, you'll never see any standardization - you just gotta go with what works best for your situation.  Personally I would never put a deposit down - you really have no recourse if its lost.  I may miss out though on my favorite provider and have to settle for less.  Both perspectives are valid, depending upon what your priority is.  

hmmm, to reread my rambling or just hit "POST"

If a Porn Star rips you off why can't you just press charges against them?  Fraud sound familar?  Robbery?  She's stealing from you and depending on the amount it could be very serious.  You should pay by personal check or credit card and then the proof is obvious.  I don't understand how this would every happen!

I think there is an answer for this quandry. How about an "agency" that gives new hobbyists the validation required to providers so their questions can be answered.  Rules of behaviour document signed by hobbyists. Rules of behaviour in print from providers. Everybody needs to act real and do the contractual agreement as gentleman and ladies in a professional way.

Act like a freaking adult folks! Nobody wants to be sued or defamed. Its illegal to rip off and misrepresent.
 
Professionalism will help knock some uncertainity out of this process.

Hobbyists who want to meet a provider joins a group, validation of who they are in some respect, privacy assured. Deposit with that agency and credit established.

I don't trust agencies promoting the providers at all!  Its a distorted process.  Providers can be represented by an agency hobbyists should have the same choice.  The two agencies discuss then provider and hobbyist get together with rules of behaviour everyone has agreed to on both sides.

Right now, what is the agency a hobbyist can join that isn't promoting the providers. That agency needs to be created.

I know some will leap at this idea and misrepresent.  Its like being a buyers agent trying to buy a house or land. Someone to represent the hobbyist in a transaction with the provider.

Hobbyist agent would have to be bonded and lawyered, with a valid business address so hobbyists are comfortable sending a deposit to that agency. Beware some hobbyist can afford their own lawyers to keep that agency in check.

It happens in real estate, should happen in these kind of transactions as well.

The agency would be the outlet where providers annouce sales or auctions, they accept the best bid for a weekend kind of thing.

It could work.

More to consider:

 Many of the ladies insist that the deposit is non-refundable.

 There is a problem here that I recently discovered.  I live in NJ.  In NJ, non-refundable deposits are, for the most part, illegal (there are a few exceptions).  

  Just a thought.

  Note: I'm not a lawyer.

This subject has been discussed many,many times and it boils down to a matter of choice.

I have to totally disagree with the statement that if a lady flakes with your deposit you have no recourse. This board and the power that it has,is the way to expose any lady, for any reason. If you don't feel that this board is a sufficent tool for you to expose a lady, then why use this board? By being a member of TER, you have the ability to not only ask questions, but to back channel as well.

If a PS is a constant flake, and has the habit of keeping someone's deposit/airfare/hotel, and not following thru, then go ahead and post it, and each time she advertises she is available, go ahead and remind everyone of her history.

Stop thinking with the little head.

I am getting sick and tired of the constant complaining that continually goes on with regards to booking ladies the last two years, reference booking direct or through an agency, such as the following,

1.  I don't want to pay the agency fee.
2.  I don't want the agency calling 15 minutes before the appt is over.
3.  I asked the agency to have the lady in a certain type of outfit, they never told the lady.
4.  I was given the wrong information, day and time.
5.  The lady is busy, but we have so and so available.
6.  She missed her plane connection, she will be here later tonight, and when you call again, she is still not in town, because SHE is a flake, she is either too stupid to find the airport, or too high.
7.  I don't want to pay a deposit.
8.  I'm afraid to send money.
9.  I've been ripped off before.
10. It's not necessary.

If you want to have the abiltity to actually converse with her via e-mail, about anything that concerns you, or not pay the agencies cut on top of her rate, then you must book direct.

Here I go again, for those who know me, I tell it like it is:

If you are too lazy or too caught up with hormones, and you don't take the time to do your research, and you get burned, then you deserved it.

My advice to all of you is this:  when you choose to see a particular girl, and she has a requirement for a deposit,and your saving money by not booking her through an agency, and her reputation is stellar, then pay it.

If you don't want to assure her that you are sincere, and not a flake, then move on to someone else, who might not require deposits, but might have only a so,so reputation.

Common sense goes a long way

Of all the complaints you listed, Kathy, I think # 4 & # 5 are legitimate gripes since they fall under the Customer Service umbrella.  If a company is easy to business with, is accurate & goes the extra mile to make sure I'm satisfied, I'll be loyal to that company & also tell people about them.  If a company is hard to business with, isn't accurate & isn't willing to be helpful, I'll make sure NOT to deal with that company.

Yes they are, but apparently you did not get my drift.

Numbers 4 and 5 are usually complete crap.  The agencies for the most part are directing calls to certain girls.  There are several reason why, certain girls tip the phone girls, so the phone girls direct the calls.  

The lady that you want to see, can be sitting in her room, doing nothing, and the agency will tell you :
1.  She did not make it to town.
2.  She is busy right now
3.  We can't reach her
4.  She went to bed early

It's all a bunch of crap, their other favorite reason is this:

They have a new girl in town, that has never been to say, NYC, it's her first time, so the agency directs as many calls to her as she can handle.  They will do this each and every time she goes somewhere for the first time, and they will do it for her first few times in any city, up to a year.  

Why, because they have promised her she will make a ton of money, the problem is,  that the agency tells all the girls the same thing.  But the agency is now caught between a rock and a hard place, they have just acquired some new big name girls, so the girl who has been loyal, and worked hard for the agency, now gets the short end of the stick.

This is one of the reasons why I left E2K, and is also why Anna Malle is basically booking direct.  If your a smart girl, it doesn't take too long to figure it out, especially when you have gentleman who you have seen before, tell you what the agency tried to do.

Now , I will ad this, a lot of girls have received some bad press, regarding not showing up etc., now you know why you hear this sometimes.

in addition to "that is the question" (was Hamlet a "Romeo" with the providers btw?  i find there is a funny paradox associated with deposits

you can find yourself (as i have) in a position where and when the ladies you feel comfortable giving a deposit to are the very same ones who don't require it of you!  LOL

i had a near-encounter with a high-profile "It Girl" (of the moment) few months back.  we had corresponded via email for some time, clearly i had won her trust (and this was before i had any references even) and while she was touring with E2K she agreed to meet me on her first day in town ... it never did go down because of some last minute disagreements over the fee but the point is even a neophyte like me was able to arrange this without paying a deposit

i think this goes to show that when the ladies are suspicious of someone they would naturally insist on a deposit (i mean can you blame them?) ... now as for agencies, i wouldn't know (cuz i don't do bizness with them), i'm guessing if you're a "VIP member" with a proven track record they may waive the deposit, yes/no?  at least that way when the girl cancels they have less paperwork to do in order to refund you, perhaps?

Correct me if I'm being dumb about this, but the only time I'd ever ask for a deposit is if I'm travelling for a specific person...Although maybe I should change this since people have flaked or postponed last minute after I've spent an ungodly amount of time squeezing into rubber stockings or tedious corsets per his request when I could have been either watching ER or whacking off to Amber Lynn on the internet.

I foolishly sent a $550- deposit to Michele Raven who was supposed to be visiting my city.  She didn't come, and didn't refund the deposit.  She told me that she would, but did not.  She was not a well known flake so I was taken in.  I understand if a PS feels more secure taking a deposit.  However, I don't think that anyone should ever pay more than a $100- deposit.

Ask yourself this:

In ANY other area of your life .... would you EVER consider leaving a deposit for ANYTHING in an instance where you have no legal recourse to recover your money if the service or product is not delivered?

There are $250 girls out there that are JUST as good as the $1,000 girls.   $350 GFE's that are younger, prettier and more eager for your business than the $5,000 porn stars.

TER is filled with them.

The hooking business, wether is high class or street corner is full of hustlers. The business it self is hustlers business.
When moneys are given, may as well kiss it goodbye. Lucky that you just got left holding the bag , instead of having a big black dude paying you a visit and leaving you not being able to walk for a week..
but there we are again and again,, John's as they call us..

you're not going to get any respect from the ladies here.  Yes, hobbyists have to be knowledgeable but they should also be respectful & not put every provider in the same group.  Every lady is different.

you'd have better luck teaching a Neanderthal to sing Les Miserables

except a Neanderthal may eventually catch on!  

Once again I find myself sticking up for the straight talkers.  Just remember guys, there are a lot more of us out there "lurking" and reading and gathering information and making choices about who we want to see than there are those who post on here.  

Guys like me depend a lot on those Neanderthals who talk straight and give the bottom line and unfortunately we have to wade through the nonsense of those other guys on here who think that they are impressing the women on here with how sensitive and romantic they are.

I don't give a rat's ass about currying favor with any pornstar or other provider on here.

I've said it before and I'll say it again...  

I'll gladly pay $5,000.00 an hour for a pornstar to act like a pornstar, but I ain't gonna spend $50.00 for a pornstar to act like my wife or to demand that I treat her like my girlfriend.

I dress well, I am well groomed, I'm well educated, I'm clean, I'm not overweight, I have a good job, I'm well spoken, I'm kind, and I'm as romantic as any other guy, BUT when I want to get laid by a pornstar I want to lay my money down have hot sex and walk away.  No strings attached, no relationship, no concern over currying favor or wondering if they like me.

I have no problem with you expressing your "straight" opinion but when you decide to insult people by labeling them as "hookers" or "whores", then I have a problem.  The guys here don't want to be labeled as "perverts" or "losers" so there is a rule that NO ONE is to resort to name calling in this forum!!  Get IT??  Got IT?? GOOD!!!

you see, i finally figured it out (actually more like had it explained to me)

we the romantic sensitive fools who curry favours [sic] with the gals actually WANT the neanderthals to stay and play just the way they are ...  i mean that sincerely ... really i do


lurk on!  

LOL

OHBLAH has every right to post his opinion, just as you do, the trouble with you "Romantic Sensitive Fools" is youre looking for love in all the wrong places, if you want a girl friend, I suggest you look somewhere else as this is a business and these are working girls.

as always
HAPPY HUNTING