In the spirit of "You might be a redneck"...

You might be a pornstar if...

You make $3000 a week and live in your car

You're boobs weight more than your head.

You know what the terms "bukkake" and "gokkun" are.

You list condoms, lube and fleet enemas as deductions on your tax forms.

You mumble the words "ooh yeah baby, fuck me with your big hard cock" in your sleep.

You don't own any shoes with a heel lower than 5"

You've had two cocks in your ass at the same time... more than once.

You know all the location caterers in LA by their first names.

Trashy Lingerie sends you a personal Christmas card.

You travel with more than 10 sex toys in your luggage.

Your boyfriend doesn't work, spends all of your money and calls himself your "manager".

You've lost no less than 4 cell phones this year.

You can tell who's cum you're swallowing blindfolded.

The word Gozo means something to you other than the name of a Muppet.

You flash your boobs without thinking every time you see someone with a camera.

You've ever owned an anal plug.. and worn it while grocery shopping.

Your last name is a sexual double entendre.

You suffer from anal leakage.

You've ever had anything with a watch on it in your pussy.

You think an "average" dick is 9 1/2 inches.

Your name is Candy

That gave me my best laugh of the day.

Thanks Eddie!

nycad

I love these 2 !! Hilarious Eddie.

You've lost no less than 4 cell phones this year.

You think an "average" dick is 9 1/2 inches.

"The word Gozo means something to you other than the name of a Muppet."

[sigh]

I didn't write it, I copied and pasted it... if you want I'll try to find out who did write it so you can give him shit about his spelling... Let me ask you a question... is jerkoff right, or is it two words?

this B-O-Z-O's got it in for you! LOL

his board contributions are almost entirely about shit-stalking you

I think in this case jerk off is two words, because it's likely separated by a middle name.

Actually Gozo is how you say cum in portuguese AND there is a muppet in Brazil named Gozo. If you were a porn star, you'd know that.

"I didn't write it, I copied and pasted it"

Plagiarism, Eddie?

[sob]