Can someone tell Eric that neither "The amount we stole is hardly worth talking about" nor "There are people doing even worst crimes" are actual or effective legal defenses.

The Trumps are experts at cutting their own throats..

They've done pretty well for themselves so far, and about half the nation likes the Trumps.   I don't see any of this legal activity against the Trumps going anywhere.  And were Donald to directly be subject to criminal charges, his supporters will react strongly.  

Trump's lawyers used the same defense, addressing the crimes of others w/o addressing the crimes themselves: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qm-c56IS9YE  
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Then they invoked "in 244 years, we have not had a local prosecutor go after a former POTUS." Gee, I wonder why not? Maybe in the last 244 years, no POTUS has committed such obvious crimes that were exposed in the free press, discussed openly by family members and business associates, disclosed under oath to Congress by the POTUS's own personal lawyer, and have now been established, according to the indictments, in a double set of books that kept track of actual salaries and their offsets by various non-taxed "gifts" and "payments."  
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The lawyers did not address (or even dare to deny!) the allegations in the indictments, which were handed down by a legally empaneled Grand Jury, not by QAnon.  
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For anyone wondering about the history of indicting current or former politicians, going back 244 years, see:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_American_federal_politicians_convicted_of_crimes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_American_state_and_local_politicians_convicted_of_crimes
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2015/07/29/more-than-two-dozen-members-of-congress-have-been-indicted-since-1980/
More than two dozen members of Congress have been indicted since 1980

Trump's favorable ratings are mostly around 40%. It's his UN-favorability ratings that are at 50% or above.
And the rest of what you wrote is simple bullshit with ZERO to back it up.

plead the 5th, but that he drank the 5th instead.

During the Mueller investigation, Mueller was able to prove that Team Trump broke the law when they met with the Russkies to obtain dirt on Hillary. However, Mueller decided not to indict Don Jr. (who fielded the original contact and was oh so happy (Jr.'s email reply: "I love it!") to set up the meeting). The reason Mueller did not indict was reported at the time:  
http://www.gq.com/story/donald-trump-jr-saved-by-his-own-doofusness
Donald Trump Jr. Saved by His Own Doofusness
http://lawandcrime.com/high-profile/trump-jr-dodged-charges-because-he-was-too-dumb-to-prosecute/
Trump Jr. Dodged Charges Because He Was ‘Too Dumb to Prosecute’
http://www.spin.com/2019/04/don-jr-not-arrested-russia-probe-mueller/
Don Jr.’s Idiocy May Have Saved Him From Getting Arrested in Russia Probe
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http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/muellers-findings-too-stupid-to-conspire-too-incompetent-to-obstruct/2019/04/22/61279d12-653b-11e9-82ba-fcfeff232e8f_story.html
Opinion: Mueller’s findings: Too stupid to conspire. Too incompetent to obstruct.
"... “With all the documentation of Russian collusion piling up, President Trump’s best excuse may be that his people were too incompetent to organize a conspiracy. Luckily for him, an innocent-­by-reason-of-stupidity defense has the virtue of being plausible. For example, there is clear and compelling evidence that Donald Trump Jr. is dumb as a post.” This was essentially Robert Mueller’s conclusion as he recounted the June 9, 2016, Trump Tower meeting, for which Russian interests promised “official documents and information that would incriminate Hillary” Clinton and Trump Jr. replied “if it’s what you say I love it.”  ... "Specifically, prosecutors couldn’t prove “the participants in the meeting were familiar with the foreign-contribution ban or the application of federal law to the relevant factual context.” Apparently unaware that this meant he isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, Trump Jr. welcomed Mueller’s findings Thursday as vindication. “TOLD YA!!!” he boasted. ..."
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At his July 3rd rally in Sarasota, Trump said (in the first few seconds of this clip),  
***** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BcsTDvXo_Y
"It's prosecutorial misconduct! You didn't pay tax on the car or a company apartment or education for your grandchildren! I don't even know, do you have to [pay taxes]? But does anybody know the answer to that stuff?" *****
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Legal scholar Trump has concluded that the indictments of Weisselberg and Trump Org are "prosecutorial misconduct." I'm looking forward to the countersuit alleging that! The only lawyer that will file those papers on Trump's behalf, Giuliani, had his law license suspended to prevent that sort of thing. Maybe Sydney Powell will file for him.  
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But then Trump tips his legal strategy hand and previews the, "I don't know if it's illegal. Does anybody really know it's illegal?" Defense. I am looking forward to the NY Courts, the NYS Department of Revenue, the IRS, and others explain to him in the only language that Trump understands, MONEY, that it is illegal. Weisselberg is on the hook for around $960,000 (or more) in unpaid taxes and Trump Org may be subject to fines and penalties.  
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Will the courts give them a pass based on the "I'm too stupid" Defense? It has worked before ...

I mean, I get it but wouldn't "Dump" or "Rump" work better?

I was thinking "dumb as a tree..."

I had seen tRUMP used elsewhere, as well as Dump.  Donald Dump does have a solid alliterative sound to it.  Stump also pays homage to the Bush/Shrub days, too.  However, if you must use Trump when posting about him, this is the best way to depict it:

Hypocritical Oaths, not Hippocratic Oath.
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We have already covered:  
"I know more than anybody ..."
http://www.facebook.com/NowThisPolitics/videos/nobody-knows-more-than-trump-about-anything-a-supercut/3943798432351523/
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In March 2016, Trump told a rally crowd, “I know more about taxes than any human being that God ever created.”
He repeated his boast in May 2016 during an interview with Good Morning America, saying, “I think nobody knows more about taxes than I do, maybe in the history of the world.”
“But Michael, I know the details of taxes better than anybody,” he said. “Better than the greatest CPA.  
http://www.accountingtoday.com/news/trump-brags-he-know-taxes-better-than-the-greatest-cpa
In 1989, Trump condemned Leona Helmsley for evading taxes on fringe benefits.  
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But now, and for the last 15 years, Trump doesn't know that "fringe benefits" are taxable.  
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Trump complained that Letitia James, now NY AG, openly campaigned that she would go after Trump.
http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/may/07/the-thorn-in-trumps-side-new-york-attorney-general-leads-barrage-of-investigations
"... Earlier, [Trump] complained that James “openly campaigned on a GET TRUMP agenda” and called her investigations “part of the Witch Hunt Hoax”. ..."
"Mr. Trump recently accused Ms. James of winning her election on a “GET TRUMP agenda,” and of doing “little else but rant, rave & politic against me.”"
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But during the 2016 campaign, Trump campaigned that he would appoint a Special Prosecutor to investigate Hillary (video):  
http://www.nytimes.com/video/us/politics/100000004701741/trump-to-clinton-youd-be-in-jail.html
Donald J.Trump told Hillary Clinton during their second presidential debate that if he were elected he would seek a special prosecutor’s investigation of her and that if he were in charge, “You'd be in jail.”
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Trump has recently defended giving Weisselberg use of a company car as a fringe benefit of being employed by Trump Org.  WHAT ABOUT THE TRUMP ORG Mercedes GIVEN TO MRS. Weisselberg WHO IS NOT AN EMPLOYEE?  Or maybe they will go back and rig the books to show that she was an employee working 1 hour per day to bring Allen his lunch.  
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(I had some more but I forgot them while I was searching for links and typing this up.)
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There is NO END to this crap ... until Trump is finished, jailed, and abandoned by his cult.