Taken From the Minnesota Discussion Board...


There is a disturbing trend in this hobby!
Posted by Lickitysplit22  , 4/6/2007 10:08:53 AM   [Lickitysplit22 has 18 reviews]

I listened intently to a Cialis commercial the other day.  I figured it must be some good stuff because my ears perked up as soon at the commercial started.  

But something didn’t sit right.  It was the phrase, “Make sure you ask your doctor if you are healthy enough to have sex”.  Who is their right mind would answer that.  Like every other red blooded American male with a fragile ego, I WILL DIE TRYING.

But, I see where this will lead to, and that is more disturbing.  In the future, I will stop to see my ATF, and she now routinely asks, “Are you sure you healthy enough to have sex?  Do you have your medical card?”  

“Yes” I respond with the same determination as the head in my pants.  Do you give a discount for an AARP card?”  “Well, of course” she replies as she hands me a form.  

“What is this” I ask inquisitively.  
“Just a liability form in the event, well you know.”  Don’t forget to initial there if you want added life insurance.  

She is pointing to some type that is way too small to read even with my Sam’s Club cheaters.  She continues…”There is a new section on the bottom of the page, it asks for your next of kin.”

All the news that isn't news brought to you by

The Roving Reporter

Rover's humorous post reminds me of a discussion I had with a couple providers one afternoon, about what they would/should do if a client were to expire during a session.  We concluded that, for all concerned, and if they could phyiscally pull it off (some of you guys aren't eligible for this treatment...you know who you are) they should dress him, carry the body to his car, drive him out to the desert, and put him behind the wheel, slumped over as though he stopped after feeling ill.

Any other suggestions or thoughts in this regard?  (Dark humor is welcome here, although you can answer seriously, if you wish.)

I do take some precautions in case something like this happens. I'm a single guy, so not worried about a wife finding out.  But I keep my sisters and my parents phone numbers on my cell phone speed dial just in case.  

Now if something ever happens ... and if you are the one who I am with when I "die in the saddle" ... please don't freak out!  Go to my funeral and tell them all "I was the one!"  LOLOLOL

I know I've seen it in the movies and it's probably happened in real life, but in this situation really what is the best thing to do, You just never know...It could!!!!

I would call 911 and tell them I had someone who needed medical attention.
There is no need to lie about how- and I think being honest would save a big time hassle with an investigation later if they had reason to believe you were lying.

I know my ATF could never carry me across the room; much less to my car. And, since I would trust her to maintain my privacy, I know she would not call the Gallop Pole or Roving Reporter for assistance

So, I suspect she'd dress me in woman's clothes, paint my face with lipstick and leave a huge smile (if one was not already there) on my face. Just to get back at me for the many mistakes I've made.

But, being the pro and friend she is, she'd gather all evidence of my hobby pastime, remove all porn from my home, wonder what is in my office (she's never been in it - but would continue to respect my privacy), pick up her donation and leave.

Sweety, I guess since you bring me to the brink of cardiac arrest everytime we go BCD (heck, that dress you had on when you last visited caused heart palpatations (and a little vascular activity --grin--); maybe the next time we get together we should talk about the appropriate fee for you to attend my funeral?

Oh, and sweety - I have many battery operated defbribaltors in my home (at least that is what the people at the adult store called them, lol). You know where they are, I think you've left a few at my place - so don't forget to take them with you. lol

Seriously, I'd expect the lady (any lady) to call 911 first, and if they are with an agency - call their agency. Finally a call to a lawyer. Ladies, if you were to have health problems my first concern is your health and wellbeing. Dealing with the "why were you here" question is far easier than knowing I could possibly have done somethinig to help you - but was overly worried about fallout to do so.

NOC

[and of course, this is ALL in jest - except the last paragraph!]

-- Modified on 4/6/2007 12:48:12 PM

The girl should have him stuffed, mounted and on display somewhere so she can show her friends just what she is capable of doing to a guy. If it is Mya or some other few, the trophy might be either male or female.  LOL

Terri, darling, how intriguing!  

The person that comes to mind was not in the escort trade per-say, but her talents in that area led her into the work-a-day world of the politically powerful and incredibly wealthy American elite.

But, alas, one day the little hottie found herself in just such an embarrassing and awkward position. Indeed, this thread has whetted the morbid side of the Sheika’s curious nature.

When I have the time, I’m going to Google this issue and find out this lady’s name and all the gory details.

She was one of your less than illustrious vice president’s secretaries Yes, indeed, old Nelson Rockefeller “died in the saddle” while screwing his much younger and very accommodating secretary.

Maybe if we new how she handled the situation, we could lay some contingency plans in case one was unfortunate enough to have to deal with the situation.

I LOVE YOU ALL,

Sheika Fatima
[email protected]    

Go to http://www.ishipress.com/marshak.htm to see how the "upper crust" delt with the problem.

LOVE AND PEACE,

Sheika Fatima
[email protected]

-- Modified on 4/6/2007 2:32:57 PM

-- Modified on 4/6/2007 4:34:40 PM

What happened to Nelson Rockefeller was not unusual or surprising. Medical studies say that one of the most common causes of death of men his age is a heart attack while having sexual intercourse with a woman not his wife (the reason being that when a man has sex with his own wife, he is used to her and is less likely to be under stress or excited or aroused



thank you Sheika Fatima for your reply and the research!

Love you too!!!!!
Terri

My favorite quote from that article...

"Medical studies say that one of the most common causes of death of men his age is a heart attack while having sexual intercourse with a woman not his wife (the reason being that when a man has sex with his own wife, he is used to her and is less likely to be under stress or excited or aroused)."

That caused me to do a Google search, which revealed a wonderful Oxford study of deaths during intercourse.  Here are some quotes:

"Most of the deaths occurred during or after sexual intercourse (n=36) and other sexual activities (n=12). The average age of the men who died during intercourse was 58·5 years, of the men who died during manual stimulation 64·0 years. Ejaculation before the fatal event was reported in 16 cases. The majority of the deaths took place outside a steady extramarital relationship (n=36/75·0%). Most of the extramarital sex took place with prostitutes (n=25). Therefore, most of the bodies were located in brothels (n=17), prostitutes’ apartments (n=5), and ‘ill-famed’ hotels (n=3). Only about 20·8% of the deadly events (n=10) took place in the victim’s own home."

"In the studies quoted above as well as in our study, natural deaths after marital coitus were rare. It has to be kept in mind, however, that such results are subject to some degree of statistical inaccuracy as a certain number of cases are likely to remain undetected due to inaccurate statements made by the wives on account
of feelings of grief and embarrassment.  For reasons of tact and delicacy, thorough investigation is often not performed if there are no indications of any criminal act."

The majority of the deaths took place outside a steady extramarital relationship (n=36/75·0%). Most of the extramarital sex took place with prostitutes (n=25). Therefore, most of the bodies were located in brothels (n=17), prostitutes’ apartments


This is getting very interesting!