Okay, here's my yearly observation for hobbyists and providers (again). After another year of sensual escapades with men, I have realized that there are several things both providers and hobbyists might find helpful on a date or may find repulsive. Hey! You can disagree with me, but actually I'd love to hear other's opinions on what makes them comfortable and happy.  Here are some of mine (and a few opinions of providers I have spoken to recently without mentioning names):

Likes:

1)  Someone with a gentle touch, and someone who slowly slides their fingertips up and down the body (especially down the spine, the back of the knees, the feet and neck).

2)  Someone who really knows how to kiss and gives you a meaningful hug (opinions on this may vary, but that's what communication is for). Don't take offense if someone asks you to do something differently. I don't. Everyone's different.

3)  I love to kiss and hug when someone first steps in the door, but I also try to sense if someone is uncomfortable with what I'm doing. However, after the intial kiss -- or kisses -- please allow me to come up for air, maybe sip on a drink and converse a little. Of course, this depends on how horny with both become.  Like Carly Simon once sang, "Anticipation is making me wait."

4)  I certainly love to spoil my friends and it's always nice and surprising when a friend wants to give me a backrub. But if you're going to massage me, please use oil if you have strong and rough hands, and don't get me excited about it -- only to find out you'll be doing a poor rendition of the two-finger tango down my spine and then stop. A two-minute massage is worse than none. It's torture.

5)    I love nice-smelling cologne on the neck but I do not like it right on the man's p_ _ is, especially baby powder. If I wanted to taste snow then I would have brought my sled.

6)  Trim the hair way back on your male member and -- if possible -- shave the twins. There's nothing better than Swedish Meatballs and Italian Sausage without having to floss afterward.

7)  Make sure if you used the bathroom after showering, you clean yourself again down there. And . . . don't forget to clean the a _ _ hole too. If I wanted a hot fudge sundae I'd have ordered one with nuts and whipped cream earlier in the day.

8)  If you talk dirty to me that's fine and it can be fun, but if you say "cunt, whore, broad or bitch," expect me to kick your a _ s. Just kidding. Actually, that would probably bring out the old sergeant and "butch" in me.

9)  Most providers -- at least mature providers -- don't really care to wrestle. However, if you would like me to slap the crap out of "you" then please feel free to hand me the whip.  My body is now meant for "love not war."

10)  I love erotic lingerie, but I have to admit that garter belts are harder than heck to put on, especially if you're long-waisted like me. It's like a man's jock strap continually slapping him back in the face. It hurts and it's frustrating. So . . . be prepared to help me into them or see them hanging down when I open the door.

11)  I love it when men ask me, "Can I bring anything?"  I usually say, "No, that's okay, unless you want something special."  I never expect men to bring anything extra but it's polite when they ask.

12)  If you want me to wear something special then tell me. I love to please a man and even role-play, but if it's really exotic then you might have to buy it.

Dislikes:

1)  Most of us have commented that a good kiss sometimes starts out slowly, outlining the lips ever so softly and then develops into something more passionate. However, some feel it's either necessary to give your entire throat an examination or wiggle it so fast you feel like you're kissing a lizard -- not romantic, plus it's hard to follow. If you're going to be a reptile, than be a Chameleon AND CHANGE.

2)  When someone is giving you oral pleasure, please don't push down hard on the lady's head. If I control the thrust then I will probably not throw up on you.

3)  Many people, especially men, talk about how great 69 is. Well, guess what? A lot of my friends don't even care for it. Yes, it's fun for a short while, but one-on-one is much more relaxing and satisfying. After all, not all of us are rubber-stretch dolls. And I'm paying too much attention to the man to feel all the sensations of what he's doing to me. After all, if you're going digging for oil you might as well drill slow and deep.

4)  Please, please, please brush your teeth and carry breath mints.  After we've had drinks or snacks and both our mouths taste like an Army trench, then it's okay -- but not to start off the date. Plus, keep mints and/or mouthwash near your place of rendezvous.

5)  Make sure everything you think you might need is on the bed table, near you: different sized C's, massage oil, lube, ice water, toys (if you use them) and a towel. There's nothing worse than interrupting the session to search for something.

6)  I know some people have allergies and are extra sensitive to some things I like. Therefore, I always ask the gentleman beforehand if he is allergic to perfumes or oils, what his favorite color is and what he would like to drink.

7)  I always put a big smile on my face when I greet someone. I am a very positive person, and I realize the last thing a friend needs is a grumpy provider.  If you cannot act well or are really not going to have a good time then cancel the appointment in advance (if possible). For me, this has never been a problem.

8)  I walk around barefoot a lot. Hence, rough feet. Before an appointment, I always file down the feet, clean them (again) and use a wonderful Ginger/Sugar scrub. I also try to make sure my feet have a decent pedicure and are smooth.

9)  I always clean myself (again) right before the client walks through the door. I may have showered 20 minutes prior to this, but I feel I want the just-stepped-out-of-the-shower feel and smell. Maybe it's just me, but I always worry about not being clean enough. I get wet very easy.

10)  I expect men to read my website so they know what to expect and what to do before meeting me. Please don't ask questions like: 1. How much is it again?  2. Where do you want the envelope?  Just place it in plain sight in front of me. I think I can figure out the rest. 3.  What is your real name?   If I wanted a new client to know my real name then I wouldn't have a stage name. Please respect my privacy.

11)  If you use my toilet, please clean up if you've aimed incorrectly. There's nothing worse than having to wipe pee off of the toilet and -- even worse -- off the floor.

12)  A lot of providers shave down there, to include me. If you feel the need to massage me down there, please do it gently and in a downward motion. We get razor burn too.

I know there are a lot more things I could have mentioned, but I don't want to bore anyone. Plus, I want other's opinions regarding their likes and dislikes.

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 5/17/2007 2:41:20 AM

Ciara, i cannot think of anything you missed, thanks for taking the time and effort to putting this post together for aLL of us . victoria

And on that list you can add:NEVER go back to the provider's house unannounced!!She does have a personal life aside from entertaining you!....Disclaimer-(Not aimed to anyone here in Phoenix)
also;make sure you have correct $$$ you want to donate(no change given back..tips are appreciated)
HAPPY THURSDAY TO ALL YALL AWESOME PROVIDERS/HOBBYISTS!!!!!!!!!

Great set of rules..... for a girlfriend. But the reason I go see a provider is so I can do most of the things on your don't list (especially push down on her head and I usually have bad aim when I pee... I love to "piss" them off that way ha ha).  We are paying customers and you are there to make us happy, not the other way around. We are the ones who should be catered to. Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate the insight, however most men are there for one thing. We have enough rules at home. I'm just trying to give you a mans perspective not start an argument. Great thread!

However, they're not rules just suggestions for the men who are always asking us what we like. They're obviously not meant for everyone. I even said "69 is fun for awhile", but it might not get me off. It's not a big deal if a gentleman just wants to come see me to get off. It's your decision and I will honor it, as long as you are nice and clean.

Believe me when I say I do a lot with clients that I wouldn't do with the average civie on a first date. I don't think you'd feel like you were with a demanding woman if you spent time with me. Anyway they were just suggestions.

Have fun hobbying!

Hugs,
ciara

-- Modified on 5/17/2007 2:53:48 PM

I find your list both reasoned and reasonable, I may have even learned a thing or two. I can see a lot of effort and thought has gone into producing this board entry. I think they should consider publishing it on the FAQ for Newbies board, it might just make their transition into the hobby smoother, it would have helped me. Some may say certain of the items are obvious and we all know what is obvious to one, another may not find so obvious. xbanker

I wish I could have had more responses as to what other people like, especially what hobbyists prefer. It's interesting to me and I really like to be professional, give the best service I can and have fun.

Hugs,
Ciara

response of the guy who said that the guy is there to be pleased and doggone it, he pays his money so let him have his way.

I really don't understand that kind of attitude. Sure, it's a business proposition, but people who go into, say, a restaurant, place their order, plunk down their money, and then abuse the waitperson are just jerks. If they act that way to a provider, they're jerks, too, IMHO.

For me, giving pleasure is an equal part of the equation when seeing a provider. Giving pleasure is a pleasure in itself. It doubles the pleasure for me. Plus, kindness and generosity in spirit generate the same from her in most cases.

The list is great, Ciara. Many of the points are obvious, of course, but reminders are always helpful.

Happy days, all.

i cant have an "o" under pressure.

dont try so hard to make it happen
just let it happen.

its very sweet to know you care but putting too much emphasis on the goal takes away from the pleasure of the game.

I definitely agree about putting too much pressure on women to have an orgasm. It will happen in due time and with communication between two people.

Hugs,
ciara

#1:HAVE FUN```LOTS OF FUN````MMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Ditto!!!

Let's all have some fun here.

Laughed so hard I had to read 2-4 times, I am a newbie, and, learned a hell of alot. No history as of yet, now I'll be up all night wondering if I may have already made any fatal mistakes. I now have a obsession to wash my feet every hour, I never know if I might have stepped in it. By the time I shed newbie status, I'll be mainlining Viagra, and shooting blanks.

I absolutely love your cander....this was not only helpful but a huge joy to read...I'm a new provider and I must say....VERY HELPFUL

Having been on the sidelines and just now ventured in, I was wondering when I started to read whether I had committed any major boo boo's. However I agree with it whole heartedly. This a visit between two consenting adults for more than great sex - hopefully. Great sex comes from communicating whether a civie or an escort. Forcing a provider into something will not give you a great return-rather shorten and limit.  I recently with a provider for an hour that extended to a good 2 1/2 hrs and an ivite for drinks afterwards. My biggest thrill in sex is being given the opportunity to make the other persons time great. That's where the fun is. Givers always win in the end.

A man’s likes and dislikes:

My greatest pleasure is to see a provider genuinely enjoy herself during our encounter.  I can be a better client if she follows the great guidelines Ciara suggests.  I can treat her like a lover if she presents herself as a lover.  If she presents herself as a prostitute it is very hard to convert the mood.  
Sorry to be blatant and frank but some women don’t clean themselves deep enough.  As soon as you get past the lips or during penetration an unpleasant odor distracts from everything else.  I like a woman’s natural pheromones.  This is different.  
Make sure your breath is perfect as will I.  Even if you think your breath is perfect take an extra precaution anyway.  When we are nervous with a new person our breath sours easily.  A provider recently made a comment to me about my gum.  I know some people don’t like gum.  I got rid of it, but she needed some even though she had used mouthwash just before I arrived.
Ciara’s suggestion on kissing and hugging is great.  What a way to set a mood.    Don’t expect a boyfriend experience (BFE) if you do not kiss me.  
Mentally prepare to enjoy the encounter before a client arrives.  Set your mind up for how great this is going to be.  It is easier to live up to your expectations then to change them.
How about some atmosphere?  A clean organized place is nice.  Hotel clock radios are not sound systems.  You don’t have to have a Bose wave radio but an IPOD docking station or small music player would be nice.  Candles provide atmosphere.  The TV takes it away.
Do you smoke?  I don’t, and surprisingly I don’t mind that you do.  Here are some smoker tips:  Don’t smoke in your hotel room.  Get a non-smoking room and go outside to smoke.  Don’t smoke in your car.  Your clothes will smell from it.  This applies to your home also.  Smoke outside in a breeze where the wind keeps the smoke from your clothes.  Clean up your mouth after smoking.  
Never up sell or talk about or count money in front of a client.  Have everything included in a price or list specialties and prices on a website.  How can we “forget it is just a service” if we openly deal with money.
Clients must excuse themselves to the restroom to wash up and give the lady a chance to collect a donation in private.  Ladies have to know we are clean.  Mention you showered before you arrived and freshened up in the hotel restroom if there is any question.  Ask to use their shower if you didn’t.  They will appreciate it.

I've got one to add - take the chewing gum out of your mouth before trying to kiss me!

As a hobbyist, I approach each experience with a provider as if I was going out on a date with a lady - because I am! Proper dress, proper hygiene, and proper courtesy should be staples of ANY encounter, whether there's an envelope in the mix or not! If I'm hosting, I always ask a provider's choice of beverage - if I'm visiting, I bring it along. I'll even ask a provider about her taste in music - a custom-made CD is a really nice, personal gift. You know the saying - honey works better than vinegar...

Well, that is not a man's perspective, that is your perspective. These girls are offering themselves to us (for a price) but at a great risk. It won't hurt any of you to show them basic kindness and consideration.

A year later, but none-the-less:  If my companion does not protray the image that she just "cannot keep her hands off me" and/or "she's really enjoys doing whatever she is doing to/with me" there just won't be a repeat date.

If I wanted a machine, I would invent a fembot and use that.  Since fembots do not yet exist, I will just keep looking for a companion that can act well enough to fool me for a little while. (Yes, of course it's an act!  We know it's an act, but we (at least me) want you to try to fool us!)

love your advise  its great  lol   its amazing to me that some of this has to even be said

Your info was very interesting and helpful women.  I haven't seen a provider in decades and then it was in London.  I just joined TER in order to chose one.  Any advise is helpful, yours is most valuable.  I'm not a hobbyist just looking for one occasional provider. Many of what seem to be the better providers, certainly more expensive, want referrals from previous providers.  Do you know how I can deal with this since I haven't been to one.  

I'd like your #1 & #2, as well as any more insights from your side that you'd be so gracious send would be much appreciated.

Thank you

Thanks. These are always appreciated.

I would add Don't show up early for an appointment. Have the manners to call if your running late. Don't cancel last minute of you can help it. Yes shit happens, but be as courtesy as possible, and call as soon as you realize you can't make it as scheduled.

Providers should allow hobbyists to take a shower and not let it count against the time.  

This! Especially if they've had to drive a significant distance/across the Valley. Arizona heat is brutal, and even if you shower right before leaving, it's usually inevitable that you'll sweat along the way. Whether it be waiting for your car to cool down or walking from your car to the location.

Who dug this up? I remember reading this back in the day. All good advise.