What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife ? 45 lbs. What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?"
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes.
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Still more to come....

Remember kids, these are only jokes. Lol
Vampy

good ones Vampy! Love the why do men chase women, and the porcupine vs BMW jokes I am crying... lol