this?


A woman is standing in line at the pearly gates talking to St. Peter when she hears
an awful scream. "What was that!?" she asks. "Oh don't worry," St. Peter replies, "That was the person before you getting the holes drilled
in their back for their wings." "Ouch," she blurts. Again she hears another ear-shattering scream. "Now what was that?" she inquires. St.
Peter responds, "The same person was getting holes drilled in their head for a halo." Terrified the woman looks St. Peter in the eyes and says, "I think I'd rather go to hell." He responds, "No, no you don't want to do that, you'll be raped and sodomized there!" The woman pauses and replies, "Well, at least I already have the holes for that!"

* * * * * * * * * *

One night a 87 yr old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 yr old husband in
bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony
of their 20th floor assisted living apartment...killing him instantly.

Brought before the court on charge of murder. The judge asked her if she had anything
to say in her defense. She began coolly, "Yes, your honor, I figured that at
92, if he could have sex...he could fly."