I have to say that I am really shocked by some of the women in this business. I understand that you can choose whom to see and whom not to see based on a variety of your own personal criteria. However when you exclude someone with a wave of your tiara based on a physical attribute, disability, race or financial statement, you are excluding some of the finest gentlemen out there. I have personally known providers who won't see someone again because they don't tip, or see them frequently enough or aren't physically appealing to them. What a loss. When we as providers become so high and mighty that we will deny someone the pleasure of our paid services because we have a shallow personal agenda. I can understand when we deny services to those who don't know how to be respectful, clean and act like a gentleman. These are valid reasons to not see someone. But to dismiss another human being solely on the fact that you don't find them physically/ethnicly attractive is just absurd. Are we not in this business to provide a service to those who wish to purchase our time? I find it amazing that when I speak to my clients, many different races,sizes,finacial backgrounds etc, almost all of them have a story to tell about how they were subjected to a prejudicial provider at one time or another. Where does this prideful attitude come from? Are they so high on the ladder of beauty that they have become numb to others feelings? Those who have let their heads swell to large to fit into any room, need to do some serious self examination.Being a BBW, I have been on the other side of the fence, when prejudice has reared it's ugly head disguised as a client. I don't appreciate it anymore than the clients that experience it. Sometimes if you only look at all the pretty wrapping, you realize that they spent all their energy on that and not the gift that is held inside. Providers are people, clients are people and they should be treated as such. When we look at each other as a commodity to only buy or earn then we have diminished the human on both sides of this equation. If you can't maintain a level headed attitude and an open unassuming spirit then it is time to leave this business/hoby and seek new adventures. We should all know that in this business, one minute you are the prized brilliant peacock and the next minute you are the regular peahen. Nothing lasts forever, beauty fades,and all that is left are the lasting friends that you have made, and the great memories you have given to those who took their hard earned money and spent it on you for a few moments of bliss.
I personally would like to invite anyone to see me regardless of your size,shape,race,hair color, IQ lol...I never judge a book by it's cover, I love to explore each page learning more and more until I can look you in the eye and call you my friend.
Peace,Passion and Love,
Malissa oxoxo

-- Modified on 8/2/2005 4:13:06 AM

about all night, on how to say it. I was stuned to see the two post 1. a man with a slight disablity and 2. a man of color and both were treated so terriblely that I couldn't believe what happened to them.  Thank you for saying it with such passion and to the point...

I to extend that offer...I never judge a book by it's cover...Were all beautiful people except those who do judge!!!!!

I haven't read the apparently two posts down below pertaining to this post, but I want to just address something here.

We have all come from different backgrounds and have had different experiences. It is never acceptable to stereotype, but we all do it whether we are conciously aware of it or not. That said, let me go ahead and play devil's advocate here.

As providers, it is our responsibility to make sure that our clients get their money's worth. If you (this is said in context to everyone) know that you have a prejudice toward white or black people or asian people or are uncomfortable with say, middle-eastern people, it is your responsibility as a provider NOT to take their money and offer them a bad time. Is it fair? Maybe not, and maybe people's feelings will be hurt, but it is far LESS fair to take someone's hard earned money and be a bitch through the whole appointment.

So, if someone has a prejudice and based on that prejudice will not see someone, I think they are actually doing the gentleman a favor. Afterall, the gentleman can then find a provider who appeals to him and to whom he appeals and will have a good time with, correct?

We [providers] are still human beings, and human beings have feelings and they cannot be ignored or shut off. I know a lady in Washington, DC who was raped by a client of color. As a result, she will not see clients who are african american. Fair? Maybe not. Stereotyping? Definitely. But, it's her body and it is her brain and it is ultimately, her choice.

So, forgive me if I'm wrong or I'm pointing out something we'd all like to believe doesn't exist, but it needs to be said that as providers, we are still only human. We still carry baggage from past experiences and it is still OUR responsibility to take on clients whom we know we will feel comfortable entertaining without bringing past baggage into the relationship.

As a disclaimer, I do not discriminate against anyone. If you have are a gentleman, if you can afford my fee, if you are someone with whom I click and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can provide top notch service to you, I will see you. Black, white, green, purple, from Georgia, from Sudan, from Iran, from Canada, it matters not to me. BUT, I do not represent the whole.

Let's please go easy on the people in this hobby who have different experiences and as a result, exclude certain nationalities or races from their clientele. It is afterall, their right, and their body to share with whom they feel comfortable, until this business becomes legal and has to follow the laws of discrimination.

Respectfully,

Megan

This was not something that happened within the hobby. It was someone he spent weeks talking to online and never mentioned his problem to.

towards hobbyist and IMHO have underestood what a hobbyist is all about and the Fantasy they like to have during their visit.  Lesson vampy, stick with the known who really care about your feelings.  Your a great person and don't forget it.

When it comes to preferences in a free society everyone should have the liberty to be whom and what they want to be.  We all have preferences and the selecting of someone or something over another is a right that is eroding in our day-to-day life.  Preference amplified by the PC Machine becomes distorted and mutated to such an extreme; we all quickly become the devil of one faction or another.  We’ve become so shackled by fear that if we speak our minds to our preference the deafening cacophony of opposition will make us what we are not, an appalling person. There’s a reason Baskin-Robins has 31 flavors, in the end we all get what we want.

Those that choose not to see a certain ethnic background,or people with a disability etc, should include this information on their website/advertising to save the potential embarassment and hassle to a client contacting them. I know of many ladies who won't see clients who are under 30 years old, it's their right to do so and they state it clearly on their website. I agree with you that we all come with our own personal monogramed baggage, and that we need to be true to ourselves. I painted a broad stroke statement in my post to address the issues that two men had recently. Yes Vampy's experience was NOT with a provider, but Exodus's was. There are more ladies in our community with hearts of gold then there are of stone. I just wanted to make it clear that I am personally aware of some that make trite prejudices based only on physical or financial attributes instead of personal choices that have some signifigance to their life.
Thanks for playing devils advocate, it is always much more enjoyable when we can see both sides of every discussion.
Peace,Passion and Love,
Malissa xoxox

Red, you make the point that a lady should make her exclusions known on her website.  I'm not sure how to react.  I know a lady that said on her site "please don't make an appointment with me if you see TS escorts".  I never asked her why, but it's gone now.  We've all seen the "please 30+ only", but remember the site is a marketing tool.  I'm not advocating any false statements, but do you ever see the McDonalds as end with "eating our food in quantity is bad for you"?  If I expect total honesty, I'm probably going to be disappointed a time or two.

However if someone disrespects one of my fellow hobbists i for one will not see the offender nor would i encourage anyone else to either.
If this had been a hobby situation i would hope vamptat would have said exactly who the lady was so we could decide whether to support her any longer or not.
Just as the ladies have the right to decide not to see someone, we can follow the same mental proccess and not see them. The guys esp the locals should show more solidarity then we have lately when these situations come up.

I agree that everyone should have a right to choose whom they want to, but also they should put it on their website.  Why give someone something when you do not really want to.  I find the game so funny when a provider does not want to see someone just because they are black.  
When I send an Email to a provider I tell them my nationality(black) and just give them the option.  I am 53 have a body that is in very good shape, make a 6 figure salary, and my D*ck is average. ( at least if I am going to be black they should have given me a big D*ck) but anyway, have a master degree. I just laugh because there was some Big woman I am not going to say BBW, who who turned me down because I am black and she gives 100.00 tricks.  It is so hilarious.  There are some that don't but there so many that do and I thank you who do!

With a subject line like this I was almost afraid to open the post!    Both Malissa and Megan have made such compelling and crafted arguments it was difficult not to respond.  The irony is I have sympathy for both sides for this issue.  However, this should not be construed as an excuse for being rude, cruel or close-minded.  And if anything I’ve stumbled into in my writings has been captivating it is merely a reflection of the actions or echoed statements of others.  I am a self-professed passion junky and I’m humbled that you are stirred by anything I have might have offered or said.

I agree with Megan. Let's look at the reverse. As an AA provider, I'm sure I've missed out on business because I'm not what a client desires based solely on my ethnicity. Should I complain? Sex is still a very personal experience and if someone is truly not attracted to someone for WHATEVER reason, they are totally entitled to it.  Do we tell men what porn to watch? I'm sure I've been 'discriminated'against or looked over/not booked with because I was one or more of the following:
a) too young
b) too expensive
c) too inexpensive (not elite enough)
d) have small natural boobs
e)am not skinny enough
f)am not thick enough
g)didn't appeal to client appearance-wise
h) intimidated client with brains/beauty
i) client didn't believe I was really as smart as I am, lol
f) am a woman of color
Who knows? As long as the person is respectfully declined and no rude comments are made to them, I see no harm in it. I would like to be spared from spending time with anyone who genuinely did not like the package I came in!!!! And so, flipping it back to the issue, I am not going to let just anybody be with me just because they're paying for the service; if they get past screening and for whatever reason there is something that will prevent me from doing my best to please them, I will refuse to take their money and apologize for wasting their time. (I have only had to do this once). We have a right to refuse service to anyone at any time for any reason like any business.

Personally, I think the "PC Machine" is the Big Myth.  The wailing and gnashing of teeth about "PC" came along about the time that sexual harassment became taboo in the workplace.  Common sense is all it takes to avoid such a mess, with the very rare exception of a few nuts making false claims.

The only result of the "PC Machine" I've seen is the idiotic racist jokes that used to be heard at work are now underground... and that's fine by me.

I love the Baskin-Robbins analogy though.. "PC" means embrace the 31 flavors, those who wish for the "good ol' days" are saying vanilla is good enough for everybody, so to speak.

All I ask is at least post it on your website if you have an issue with, in my situation color. It was late at night and a waste of my time. By the time she arrived no other provider was available. Another way to look at it is that someone (More deserving) loses out on getting paid.

This is so far removed from the content and purpose of this board but I cannot let this statement past without comment.  It shouldn’t be too difficult to agree that factional causes are synonymous with what some would perceive as the “PC” movement.   At issue; “Personally, I think the "PC Machine" is the Big Myth”; with all do respect, I couldn’t disagree more with this premise.  If perception defines reality, I can understand how someone might feel this way.   But feelings aside, when looking to a few of the major institutions that influence and shape our society, can you honestly say there isn’t a “PC” bias shaping our collective reality.  To cite just a few: Of Entertainment; mmm… a given, I’d hope.  Of Academic Institutions; The Washington Post reported a recent study citing within our universities and colleges 72 percent of the professors by their own description are liberal.  Within the Media; George Washington University published a survey of national media journalists from New York Times, Washington Post, ABC, CBS, NBC and PBS ect. on political attitudes and voting patterns indicating an 81 percent liberal tendency.  The Judicial System; so much of the “PC” agenda is driven within this arena, many times directly contrary to the desires of electorate, why bother casting a ballot.  These trends defer tremendously when compared too those of the general public.  The “PC Machine” is a device of these subjective cogs and wheels and sadly for everyone very much a reality.  If you feel as an individual you too should have a say in influencing and shaping our society, as was the initial intent with the formation of our Republic, should the mythical “PC Machine” drown your voice out, I think not!!!