Sometimes simpler is better!  The following is an entry in a recent contest to find the worst writing in the world:

"As her quivering lips met his, and her eyelashes fluttered softly on his sweating cheek, Dr. Robbins reflected, 'I didn't realize she had upper dentures . . . in fact, her slippery plastic palate reminds me of going down a waterslide that hasn't been properly chlorinated, as evidenced by the distinct nitrous and sulfurous emanations, or could it be sinus trouble?"

It sounded like the reviewer spent to many afternoons reading "Readers Digests'" For a more discriptive language .

feedback from a guy who has only one review.  Maybe rather said as, interesting post from a guy who has only 1 review he would like to share.

But seriously, you should remember me telling you long ago that I stopped writing reviews when my second and third efforts were rejected without explanation nor response to my appeals.  That doesn't keep me from having an appreciation of hilariously bad writing, however!