I just have to mention this Gentlemen...

For those Hobbyists who DO know the difference, no offense or patronizing is intended.  For those Hobbyists who DON'T know the difference, no offense or patronizing is intended, however, this huge variance needs to be defined:

IN MY OPINION, THE FOLLOWING IS NOT A REFERENCE:

- the name & contact info of a Provider seen, passed onto the next Provider in line who screens
- a reference is not a reference until the Hobbyist has specifically asked the Provider he has already    seen, if he can LIST her as a reference

IN MY OPINION, THE PRECEDING IS ONLY PROVIDER HISTORY, IF THAT PROVIDER IS UNAWARE SHE IS YOUR REFERENCE.

If you hand in a resume for your dream-job, the interviewer calls your references, of which one never picks up the phone, & another states that she doesn't remember who you are, you won't be getting that job, nor another chance to submit different references.  In this aspect, we would only list references of value, permissible of our use.

Listing a reference is not the same as the reporting of a Provider seen.  And here are the problems that lie within the difference:

- I (attempt to) contact a "reference" a Hobbyist has provided, & she doesn't remember who he is
or, she doesn't acknowledge whatsoever, the fact that I am attempting to verify him through her, for whatever reason her issue is
- or, she responds, but gets shitty with me b/c she's appalled I had the audacity to inquire, for whatever reason her issue is

Now, you can just imagine all the different scenarios relating to whatever reason her issue is... but that's her prerogative & I see no need to start a train-wreck that steers away from the original topic anyway.  As for me, I'm just a lowly little ole' Provider trying to keep a grip on some minimal form of safety for my own sake, & I don't appreciate having to pull teeth without the license.  

Furthermore, let's say you might list so & so as a reference, who is unaware she's your reference.  She remembers your date but maybe didn't have such a good time b/c perhaps she thought your breath was a little weird or something.  She might be so bold as to mention this b/c she views it as something relevant, falling into the hygiene category.  Then the Provider inquiring misinterprets this as outright bad breath... well then there goes your prospective date (when really all it was, was that Starbucks you had right before the first date... etc, etc...).

So I'm thinkin', references are great... I mean, who really wants to take the time to dig up skeletons of a guy who may not even exist anyway (reluctant to divulge his real name)?  And references are pretty much all I need, provided that they come from an established, traceable, legitimate Provider, but... where references are involved, we should ask the person that we would like to list as that reference, if we have the permission to do so.  Then they know to be expecting correspondence from inquiries, will be cooperative since they've agreed, & obviously don't mind others knowing that they've seen you or of having their contact info shared within the community.  This would be nothing more than a benefit to all three parties, versus possible non-compliance or acknowledgement, animosity between Providers, or deal-breakers for Hobbyists.  And ladies, if you don't stick up for yourself by declining when asked to be of reference if you're not reference-friendly, then it is your obligation to cooperate with full honesty when you are contacted upon.  That's only fair.

And guys, don't be afraid to ask.  I myself am very reference-friendly, & I truly like helping others hook up.  Isn't that kind of the whole name of the game... hooking up with no strings attached?  Thanx.

I am a reference friendly provider. When someone lists the ladies they have seen I am under the impression that the ladies have mentioned being reference friendly and would expect a steady stream of verification emails each week. I for one get a verification email every week or so but only a few people contact me prior to using me as a reference. I have zero problem with this because I have a great memory of my clients and if for some reason I do not remember someone when a lady contacts me I ask for them to have the gent message me or ask for more details. I also be sure to let a lady know if it has been a while since my last visit with someone using me as verification.

I think you are correct that there is a difference between provider history and provider references, however if someone is listing ladies they have met with I personally take it as a reference list and follow-up with those ladies. So far there have been no issues with ladies I have contacted. Some do not get back and others reply quickly.


IMO if someone claims to be reference friendly it indicates that permission has been given for a past visitor to use them as a reference. This is just my stance, every lady does things to her comfort level.

I don't need my clients to send me an email before using me as a reference.

Try reading what you just said.   I can't.  It's just so verbose and overstated.  As I said, what you're talking about it not very complicated at all, and you seemed to have really overdone it.
Just my opinion.

from the inquiring gentleman. Some providers reply quickly, some later or not at all. Most ladies are nice and some aren't lol. Either way, I prefer an answer to none at all. I've actually heard from a few great guys, that they're afraid to give references because they've had a bad experience or 2 from providers becoming upset because they chose to see someone else instead of repeating w/ her. Umm its called variety, a huge part of this game. It's unfortunate that these things happen, it only slows down the process and makes it awkward for everyone. Strange.
Anyway, I guess I'm off topic now. I find it easier to accept whitelists, p411 or datecheck. If a gentleman has more than 2 or 3 referrals from reputable gals, I'm good w/ that and don't find the need to contact references. I'm very reference friendly and have no problem answering reference requests ASAP. If its been a while or if I don't recall right away, I'll ask for something to spark my memory. I'm more than willing do whatever I can to ensure the inquiring gal's safety. IMO everyone should take the time to do the same. It's always greatly appreciated. Smiles!!

Xoxo

-- Modified on 2/27/2013 11:58:37 PM

-- Modified on 2/28/2013 12:02:23 AM

Females in this biz are selfish and catty, afraid the "client" isnt going to return. Not ALL , as I have meet / chatted with great gals etc... BUT allot and EVEN very well known girls are very "ghost" when it comes to giving a ref.

There seem to be so many different ways to get it done. I gave my references out in one situation and they just went to TER and looked up my reviews and then tried to contact each and every woman I had reviewed regardless who I gave them as a reference. I will do whatever it takes to help the woman I am going to meet feel at ease. I only see well established and well reviewed providers that I find through TER. I don't see BP girls. I have never had any trouble at all with a woman I met through TER after doing my homework on her first.

Recently it is a bit less of an issue as I have a special lady I see exclusively and every time I think about seeing someone different I can't think of any reason I would want to... But, that is a different story! Maybe you and she should double /rotfl

Don't they know? The secret to keeping a loyal client is giving him a reason to come back, not trying to keep him hidden.

stick up their behinds. I really don't need an education on appropriate steps in providing references, checking your rates, or anything else. I am here to have fun. I am not here to take a class on escort 101. Save it for the newbie board. You like it certain way, have it written in your personal web page. If a gentleman has a question, just refer him to your website. Last month I contacted Bret Gray. I asked some questions. She said please see my ad on eros. Done. No offense taken. No confusion. Simple. Lets have fun and cut out the bull

Check out the OC discussion if you want to see a slow board.

Phoenix here seems active enough that ladies shouldn't be blogging about their personal screening preferences IMO. Another poster said it all: put it on your site and refer people there for info. As I said, see the OC board if you think THIS is slow.


Goldie

Eh, slow for me Sure other boards are slower. Erotic Highway for example. I do my best to help keep this one active. By the way, hope you find success and fun in that little party you are planning to throw Goldie

Jeffrey, haven't you ever had a conversation with a woman? My wife takes three times as long to say something than she would need to. Then when I tell her so, she clams up and doesn't talk at all! My apology takes quite a while to take affect, so I just wasted a lot more time telling her to be concise in the first place!

And no offense Jeffrey but I read the whole post and found it to be very clear although a little long Personally, if my TER history isn't good enough, I just say 'fuck it' and move on anyway. I may miss out on some good times but my personal information doesn't get shared any more!

If hobbyist weren't already confused about screening as it is with each provider.

Everybody Has Their Own Different Way Of Screening Period!!!!!

Now you all know how Kelsi likes to screen, that doesn't mean we all do it that way. It's a very frustrating process for all who want to be safe both providers and hobbyists. You just have to remember we are all different so everyone needs to have patience

The problem I run into, as an infrequent hobbiest, is of recency of references. I usually see higher end providers when traveling on business and only when my schedule permits. Thus, it may have been 6mos, or over a year since the last visit. I can't reasonably expect a gal to remember me, let alone vouch for me after such a long time. I can only depend on my review history (I've been lax here, as I use RB more often) and frequently that is not adequate. I understand the providers reticence...but it does frustrate me.

On a different, but related subject, I'm amused to no end when I see a new providers post demanding references when she lacks reviews. I don't see unreviewed providers, but the gall of it does annoy me anyway.

IMO we should be able to post whatever we want lol.

New provider or not they deserve to ensure their safety no less then anyone else and that is what the references are all about.

Lot of ladies accept p411. Obviously you have to be willing to give the company your real name and place of work. Also maybe you can ask a lady after your session if she can white list you.

Just give each provider what they want as far as references and move on. Personally i've never had a problem.

Yeah but when they ask you for a reference you can reply with something like "Know anyone that works in Phoenix? Anyone at all? No seriously pick one at random. Here, I just happen to have a huge wall pull of pictures of providers, don't ask why, here are 2 darts. Lets pick 2 references."

Thats not what i said! I'm saying give them what they want, if you have provider references give them, if you don't give them what they want, if its your name and place of employment give them that and let them do their screening. Everybody has to start somewhere.

Lol I know. Sorry. Was trying to make a joke but I guess it fizzled.

Sorry, i'm the one that didn't get it. The dart missed the wall, where you talking about me?

Yeah it was but I guess it just wasnt a good joke. it was about how you know so many ladies and I tried to give it a slight creepy twist without loosing the humor but missed the mark I guess.

Yu'll nede to be mor strate forword, i ain't tu brite.......