Stanley, actually, as in Stanley Steemer carpet cleaner, as in the old, classic automobile.
(Not as in Cleveland Steamer.... )
I don't like the name. Stanley, Stan. Sounds old fashioned and I am anything but old fashioned. I don't like old fashioned. I don't like traditions, either.
I wish my mom had named me something else, like Raoul, or Sirius, or Castor. Okay, maybe not Castor.
But my name is Stanley, though everyone calls me Stan, though everyone mostly ignores me while I sit in my cube playing TextTwist and eating tangerines and muttering "screw you" under my breath, all the while wishing I were somewhere else, anywhere else but in that little cube.
Stanley. Stan. Stan the Man. No, I wasn't named after Stan Musial; my dad was a Dodger fan.
She blurts out a name while we are making love, but it is not my name. She can't bring herself to say my name, anytime, much less during love making time. She blurts out, "David!!" or "John!!" Never "Stan!!" or "Stanley!!" It's okay, though, it doesn't bother me. Not much, anyway. The only time it bothers me is when she blurts out the name of a former husband, boyfriend, lover, acquaintance, guy she just met at the bar. That's the only time it bothers me.
Stanley.
Stan.
Rearrange Stan and you can make ants, or nats, or tans. Rearrange Stanley and I don't know what you get, cause I don't care.
Stanley. Stan. Doesn't Raoul sound better, roll off the tongue better?
She rolled off my tongue last weekend. It was all I could do to keep my tongue on her clit and my finger inside her the way she was squirming and bucking and moaning and shouting, "Oh, David!! That feels so good!!!" I was persistent, though, and kept my tongue on her clit, my finger inside her, and brought her to orgasm after orgasm, while she screamed "David!" and "Tom!" and "John!" and "Jerry!" and "whatever that guy on the commercial's name is!" So there, take that, all you other guys.
Stanley.
Stan.
And so I take my leave of this place for a bit. Take leave so to search for a name more appropriate for me. A name that describes me better than Stanley or Stan. A name that people will hear and think, "Hey, that's that guy's name!"
EOM